GOODIES COR COMICS SYNOPSIS #29
(by Linda Kay)
(from C&G 102 – May 2004)
21st July, 1973 No. 52
The name "The Goodies" implies, as Tim says in episode one of the television series, that their goal is "To do good to people" (regardless of how wet Bill may think that concept is). But in the course of the show there were times when the trio (or more accurately one out of the three) would find themselves on the wrong side of the law (if not legally at least ethically ... let's face it, trying to take over the world is NOT a nice thing!). The Goodies remained good in the Cor!! comics for the most part, except when they *accidentally* find themselves breaking the law, as in the comic we'll be reviewing this month.
Header: THE GOODIES TUNNELLED INTO A BANK - STERLING WORK!
We find The Goodies slumping around their office. Bill is stretched back in a cobweb-covered chair, yawning, while Tim is perusing a Cor!! Annual without much enthusiasm. Only Graeme is busy at work on a strange contraption which looks like a giant drill with three seats.
BILL: I'm *bored!* Yawn!
GRAEME: You'll be even more bored soon ... we're about to try out my *boring machine!*
Two huge thugs burst into the office (one of them smashes Bill against the wall with his girth) and a third, shorter but sinister looking man enters between them.
HEAD THUG: I gotta problem for you guys ... my friends and I are *escapologists!*
BUGSY: Yeah! We *escape* from t'ings!
HEAD THUG: Shuddup, Bugsy! Right now our friend is lying trussed up in the Cortown Bank vault ... and he *can't get out!*
The two thugs muscle to get through the front door at the same time, their boss scrunched between them.
HEAD THUG: We made a bet that he could escape in one hour ... but the door jammed and he's stuck ... it's up to *you* to get him out!
GRAEME: Leave it to us!
The Goodies head to the Cortown Bank on their trandem, towing the drilling machine behind them on a wagon.
GRAEME: This is just the job for my boring machine!
Once they've reached the bank, the Goodies take their seats in the machine and Graeme starts it up. Hydraulics lift it up so that it bores straight down into the cement. A nearby policeman remains oblivious to the drilling going on right behind him.
GRAEME: According to my plans, this is the spot where we should drill!
The machine drills into the ground and makes some odd turns, actually cutting through an Underground tunnel for a moment, before coming up in the bank's vault.
GRAEME: This must be the place!
The machine stops inside the vault and the Goodies disembark, looking around to see no one.
GRAEME: Hey! There's nobody here! Their mate must have escaped by himself!
Graeme pulls out a handkerchief and cries while Bill pats his shoulder. Tim turns to see the thugs coming up through the tunnel their boring machine has made. The head thug is brandishing a gun toward them.
GRAEME: WAAAAH! All that effort for nothing!
BILL: Cheer up! It wasn't our "vault"! Tee, hee!
HEAD THUG: Okay, wise guys ... stick 'em up!
The thugs tie the Goodies with rope and proceed to rob the bank vault.
HEAD THUG: Truss 'em up while I snaffle the loot! Heh, heh!
TIM: We've been *bamboozled* into helping some *bank robbers!*
The thugs jump into the boring machine and take off back through the tunnel.
HEAD THUG: Yep! And now we make our escape! So long, suckers!
The Goodies sit helpless, their arms and feet tied. However we see a small mouse is in Graeme's pocket.
BILL: This is a fine fix ... if we're found like this folks will think the *Goodies* are *baddies*!
GRAEME: Don't worry ... help is at hand! Come on, Jumbo ... do your stuff!
Jumbo the mouse starts to nibble through Graeme's ropes. Bill, thinking Graeme is talking to him, is trying to chew through his own ropes.
GRAEME: Right, Jumbo ... *chew* through the ropes!
BILL: I'm trying ... but I can't reach!
GRAEME: Not you, you fool ... *my pet mouse*!
Free of the ropes (well, mostly free ... Bill is still pretty tangled up), the Goodies run to the tunnel to make their escape.
TIM: Come on ... let's get out of here!
MEANWHILE ... THE CROOKS WERE ESCAPING IN THE BORING MACHINE ... OR SO THEY THOUGHT!
The boring machine is making its way underground, but the thugs have no idea they're coming up through the street just as the Cortown Constables are driving by in their paddy wagon.
POLICE OFFICER: Step on it, Bert ... there's been a raid on Cortown Bank!
THUG #2: Dis t'ing don't steer so good!
The boring machine comes up through the bottom of the paddy wagon, delivering the crooks right into the hands of the police.
POLICE OFFICER: Erk ... *Bert*! We've nabbed the robbers without even tryin'!
HEAD THUG: Drat! This rotten uncontrollable Goodies machine has got us *pinched*!
POLICE OFFICER: The Goodies, eh? They'll be getting a *reward* for this!
But the Goodies still think they're wanted by the police for aiding in the bank robbery, and a big sign on a wall which reads "POLICE SEEK GOODIES - BIG REWARD OFFERED" doesn't make them feel any better. They're stealing down the street in disguise, Bill dressed as a German military officer, Tim as a French Foreign Legion member and Graeme as a Spanish matador.
BILL: Ooer ... look! Someone must have spotted us in the bank vaults before we escaped! We're wanted men!
TIM: We'll have to keep these inconspicuous disguises on till the fuss dies down.
GRAEME: You can "bank" on that! Things never turn out right for us!
Sign-Off Line: Our T.V. Chuckle Champs Return Next Week, Chums!
Additional material from this issue:
The Goodies were one of the answers on the puzzle page in a Circular Motion puzzle in which readers were instructed to take every second letter in a circle of letters to spell out the names of four Cor!! stories.
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
IIII - Officially amazing.
Now this is more like it! A very entertaining and well-drawn comic with lots of little jokes in the background, a fun plot and an ironic ending. While the dialogue and action is oddly Graeme-heavy, the action moves right along and the art is superb.
There are simply tons of little jokes in the margins of this one, starting with panel one and Graeme's blueprints for his boring machine on the wall. The plans include a "sherbert inductor feedback" valve and an arrow indicates where the British Troops are to sit. A key in the back is called the "Clockwork Transducer." The bottom of the plans are even more confusing, saying it is a "detail of left hand multipura soggermakers solids state whatsit."
The thugs barging into the office are very animated and when they leave we see that not only did they press Bill into the wall, but Bill's face imprint is pressed into the back of the thug's coat! A man peers out of his window as the Goodies pass on their trandem with the boring machine in tow. A very large battleship is chained to a parking meter outside of the bank where the policeman is being so oblivious. And the detail in the drawing where the Goodies are riding the boring machine underground is a splendid multi-level study, showing the policeman still standing outside the bank, a little old lady with a moth-filled wallet (and yet some dollars float around her) standing in the front of the bank with an old-fashioned bookkeeper, while underground we see such things as a dinosaur skeleton, an odd bone and a tin can, an un-detonated megaton bomb, a startled conductor and passenger in the Underground station, and a convict slowly picking his way to freedom.
Once inside the bank vault we see it holds not only money but prime beef and cup final tickets (not to mention a piggy bank). The thieves are prepared enough to have brought a large bag with the word "loot" on it for their take. As the crooks make their escape in the boring machine we get to see another underground shot which reveals a large python wriggling up out of the sewer system near an unsuspecting bystander. A parking meter also seems to have sprouted roots.
Inside the paddy wagon, a police dog cowers behind an officer as the boring machine comes up through the floor, but his doggy dish of food is left unscathed. And finally on the "wanted" poster in the last panel the "latest identimug pictures" of the Goodies are all of the same non-descriptive face.
This is a very fun installment in the Goodies Cor!! comics and definitely a big improvement from the week before.