GOODIES COR COMICS SYNOPSIS #19
(by Linda Kay)
(from C&G 91 – July 2003)
12th May, 1973 No. 42
Cover banner: "Goody-Goody! TV Stars "The Goodies" Appear Inside!"
Many of the basic plots of the Goodies episodes involve the trio being asked to help accomplish some task by an outside person, only to eventually get involved in a scheme in which they might themselves be able to make money, and finally there's the inevitable let-down at the end when their scheme backfires and they end up worse off than when they started. The comics often borrowed this formula to good effect, as in this month's Cor comic we'll be reviewing.
Header: YOU CAN'T HOLD A TORCH TO THE GOODIES WHEN IT COMES TO FINDING A MAGIC LAMP!
An Arab man dressed in very old-fashioned clothing (including curled shoes) stands in the Goodies office looking quite annoyed. Graeme addresses him confidently while Bill peeks in confusion from behind Graeme and Tim relaxes at a desk behind both of them (Graeme's computer can be seen in the background, as well as a sign which reads "We do anything – any time").
ARAB: I sent my lad ALADDIN out to get a MAGIC LAMP two thousand years ago, and he's not back yet! I want you to find it for me!
GRAEME: Right, my old CHINA!
The Goodies ride their trandem through a grassy, rocky terrain in their search for the missing Aladdin. Bill is sitting with his legs up, letting the others pedal.
TIM: As I remember from a panto, Aladdin found his lamp in a cave somewhere!
BILL: Yeah, but how do we find a cave?
They trandem suddenly hits the rocky opening to a cave that goes straight down in the ground. The Goodies are pitched forward into the opening.
TIM, GRAEME and BILL: Arrrgh! We let a cave find US!
MUCH LATER ...
The Goodies are making their way through the caves, Tim carrying a flashlight. Suddenly a voice somewhere in the distance calls for help.
BILL: We've walked miles - but we're getting nowhere!
GRAEME: Hark! A holler for help!
They reach the source of the voice, the missing Aladdin! The collection of empty tins around him and a tea kettle boiling on a fire indicate Aladdin has been there for some time.
TIM: Hey, it's ALADDIN - AND he's got the lamp!
ALADDIN: I've been lost down here for ages! The genie won't help me - he's too scared to come out of his lamp!
Tim panics, leaping up into Graeme's arms as Bill slyly winds up a toy mouse.
TIM: Oh, no ... that means we're ALL lost ... H-E-L-P!
BILL (whispering to Graeme): Lucky I had this clockwork mouse with me - you know how scared Tim is of mice ... well, it's given me an idea for getting out of here ... whisper whisper!
Bill releases the clockwork mouse and Tim races away from it in sheer fright. The others excitedly follow Tim as he runs away.
TIM: EEK! A marauding mouse!
BILL: It's working ... follow him! He's SO TERRIFIED, he'll find the exit by INSTINCT!
SURE ENOUGH ...
They find their way out of the cave. Aladdin takes the Goodies trandem and leaves them behind with the lamp, which they start to fight over.
ALADDIN: Me swop you lamp for a ride on thy curious chariot and throw in the genie as well! Me bring bike back to GOODIES' OFFICE later!
TIM: Bags I first rub on the lamp!
Tim rubs the lamp and an angry looking genie appears, glowering down at the Goodies.
GENIE: Thou callest, oh moon-faced master, thy wish is my command!
TIM: Well, my poor tootsies are playing up - how about arranging my transport home?
The genie conjures up a flying carpet (bearing a tag that reads "Export reject") which proceeds to take off and run amok while Tim hangs onto the back for dear life. The other Goodies are left far below as Tim soars into the air.
TIM: Oh, no! A MAGIC CARPET!
Tim is flying up around other planes (one commercial jet and a small open-cockpit plane) and yells to the genie, who has zoomed up to hear his request.
OPEN COCKPIT PLANE PILOT (to Tim): AIR-HOG!
TIM: Argh! Get me down to earth, you gormless genie!
GENIE: To hear is to obey!
Tim comes crashing to earth head first, landing with an awful smash at Bill and Graeme's feet. Bill now holds the lamp confidently.
TIM: Ye-ouch! Not exactly a cushioned landing!
BILL: Huh ... you can't handle spirits! Let me have a bash!
Bill rubs the lamp and conjures the genie. He is looking excited, drooling and with pound signs in his eyes. It's clear to see what's on his mind. The genie is quickly thumbing through a booklet entitled "Spirit's Guide to 20th Century Living" (cost 10 p) to interpret Bill's wish.
BILL: I want lots of LOLLY - so that I won't need any more help from you to get the things I want!
GENIE: "LOLLY" oh master of the face fungus?
The genie proceeds to freeze Bill into a giant ice lolly (with a loud SPLAAAMM!), much to Bill's shock.
BILL: Help, I'm buried in an iceberg!
GENIE: 'Tis the biggest LOLLY I could get!
GRAEME: That genie needs BRINGING UP TO DATE - leave it to me, SUCKER!
Graeme orders the genie away, pointing fiercely as the Genie slinks away in anger. Bill is defrosting in the background.
GRAEME: You find yourself a good SCHOOL and learn about MODERN WAYS - so that when you come back you'll get our wishes right!
TIM: That's a great idea!
SOME TIME LATER ...
The Goodies are sitting in their completely messy offices, papers and things thrown everywhere. Their trandem leans against a wall with a note that reads "Ta for ye loan. Me off to catch slow boat to China - Aladdin." Bill is apparently preparing to make some extravagant wishes, as he's thumbing through a catalogue of "Posh Pads."
GRAEME: That genie's due back any time to start granting our wishes!
TIM: I'll do lots of good for people - especially ME!
The genie suddenly appears in front of them, wearing a full military uniform. They're shocked by this sudden turn of events.
GENIE: Thou cringing worms ... the school taught me much - particularly that in modern times the MASTERS are those most FITTED to lead ... namely ME!
TIM and BILL: OOER!
The genie soon has them cleaning up their offices, scrubbing the floor, sweeping up and dusting.
GENIE: No slacky up there! Clean up this hovel - then you can polish up my lamp!
BILL: What 'genie-us' thought of sending him to SCHOOL?
GRAEME: How did I know he'd choose a MILITARY ACADEMY?
Sign-Off Line: Our T.V. funsters return for more laugh-a-minute pranks next week!
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
III - Goody goody yum yum.
Not quite as good as the last comic we reviewed, but too good to demote to "Fairy Punk-Mother"status. While there's a certain lack of jokes and puns in this strip, the ones which are there are fairly good, especially Bill's comment to Tim that he "can't handle spirits." It's also a treat to get to see Tim in a full panic. Bill's idea of scaring him with the mouse to find their way out of the caves is clever and funny. The genie misinterpreting the Goodies wishes (particularly Bill's wish for "lots of lolly") works well, as does the final turn-around when the Goodies find themselves at the mercy of the newly-educated genie.
In 1977 the company which published Cor!! Comics compiled a special book which was given away with a Cadbury chocolate mail-in offer. This was called The Goodies Fun Book and included one completely new comic strip as well as a few comics previously printed in Cor!!, including this one. What's nice is this comic was reprinted in full color in the Fun Book, and it really makes the strip pop quite nicely. It's a shame all the comics couldn't be published in color in a compilation book of some kind, but at least we have this one to enjoy.