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STUFF THAT GIBBON NOW!
By Brett Allender
(from Goodies-l July 1998)
I've been 'gibbon' renewed inspiration by the relentless and frenzied activity of our self-promoted "Gibbon Stuffer Extraordinaire" Peter P., who apparently offers a full range of services (funky, saucy and wounded gibbons a specialty) at very reasonable rates. However we'll soon find out whether he's really stuffing or bluffing:
In Goodies-L land out in cyberspace there
Lives Peter the gibbon stuffer extraordinaire
Packing his primates by night and by day
At very reasonable rates (so he tells us anyway!)
Monkeying around with things small and furry
This hobby of his sounds a bit of a worry
He needs a new interest, enough is enough
How many marmo-sets of gibbons can one loony stuff?!
He should take up (Graeme) gardening and grow chim-pansies
But still tie yellow gibbons round the old oak trees
Or he could lay on the beach and get an orang-u-tan
In a ba-boon for us all, I've come up with a plan
I'm gonna go bananas as a funky gibbon killer
And fry the little beggars on my gorilla
But I'll keep a few in my fridge for stuffing
Then we'll all see whether Peter is bluffing
The Goodies convention will be full of action
Though we still need to find a star attraction
Witch Hazel and Frosty won't be good enough
So it's over to Peter to literally do his stuff
A gaggle of gibbons will test his prowess
And put all this bragging to the ultimate test
The crowd will go ape if it turns out he's fibbin'
No prizes for guessing where they'll "stuff that gibbon"!
The Loony Laureate Rules O.K.
P.S. Peter, if you really can stuff them, I'll eat humble gibbon pie. Anyway I'm sure you'll be willing to for gibbon forget!