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101 Classic Goodies Quotes
Wise Words - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 11/08/2006


» Introduction
» Tempting Targets
» Loony Logic
» Wacky Wordplay
» Ratty Rants
» Crazy Concepts
» Wise Words
» All Quotes





93* Tim (telling Bill not to rescue Graeme - to sad violin music): "No Bill, the friend we once knew is gone.  That ... creature out there sinking in the ocean is something else.  The hapless victim of his own terrible thirst for power.  Let him go.  He ... would have wanted it ... this way."  (respectful pause)

Bill (scornfully): "No he bloody wouldn't!!"

(1/7  Radio Goodies)



94* Tim (trying to find out who the Music Master really is): "I have a little trick up my sleeve that sometimes works"  (turns to Music Master)  "Who are you ?!"

Music Master: "M.J.Congleton.  17 Acacia Ville ... heh heh heh, oh no!  You can't trick me as easily as that!"

(2/5  The Music Lovers)



95* Bill (to an outraged Mrs Carthorse): "Shoosh, shoosh, come here, c'mon, come a bit closer, c'mon ... Knickers!"

Mrs Carthorse: "Oooooh!" (collapses in shock)

Tim (shocked): "You've killed her!"

Bill (dismissively): "Yes, good!!"

(2/11  Gender Education)



96* (Tim and Bill are chanting "What a load of rubbish!" after watching Ken Russell's film)

Graeme (pretentiously):  "No, no, no.  Didn't you feel that it had a certain surreal symbolistic quality, just captivating the very futility of life, death, indeed the very existence of God himself, indeed reflected in the microcosm, didn't you feel?"

Bill (slightly taken aback): "Load of old cobblers!"

Graeme (fiendishly): "Certainly!"

(5/1  The Movies)



97* Bill (disgusted at the thought of going to Australia in search of Rolf Harris):

"Nah, not Australia.  I mean, that's full of abos and dingoes and upside-down jokes."

Tim: "Shhh Bill, we must prepare for the trip.  Look out half a dozen jumbucks, pack two, no three coolibahs in the tuckerbag.  Graeme you'd better go and whack the diddle-o while I ... press a clean pair of billabongs.  Now ... Awstrailya ... heeere we come!"

(followed by Bill almost cracking up with laughter!)

(5/6  Scatty Safari)



98* Graeme: "And I shan't even allude..."

Tim: "Allude not!"

Graeme: " To my wee cousin Hamish who has a black sporran in the Scottish martial art of Hoots Toots Och Aye The Noo!"

(5/7  Kung Fu Kapers)


99* Grand Master of Ecky Thump's wise saying: "There's nowt wrong wi' owt what mitherin' clutterbucks don't barley grummit!"

(5/7  Kung Fu Kapers)



100* Bill (drunkenly trying to burp): "Won't come!"

Tim: (full as a boot too): "Have another swig of this.  That'll bring it up."

Bill (takes a swig): "Oooh that's horrible!  What is it?"

Tim: "Turps!  Turps for burps!"  (sings with Bill)  "Please release me, let me go!"

(monster burp from Bill)

Tim (delighted): "Thar she blows!  That's my boy!  Nobody light a match!"

(5/13  The End)



101* Graeme (to Tim on phone): "G'day sport, what can I do ya for?! ... This is not a funny voice, I'm talkin' Australian.  That's right, you are speaking to Kerry Thwacker. ... Yes, Kerry Thwacker, sports-mad international.  No, no, Mr Garden would do a much sillier voice than this!"  (demonstrates)  "Whack the diddle-o blue!  Pull up a jumbuck and take the weight off ya billabongs!"

(8/3  A Kick In The Arts)



I think that #8 is wrong.  Wasn't that Hospital for Hire, and not Invasion of the Moon Creatures?
Posted by:zaphod


date: 26/08/2006 11:37 GMT
Yes, that's correct.  A Wig Spotters badge for you and a sip of the magic elixir for me!  I'll fix it up right away.
Posted by:bretta


date: 29/08/2006 17:04 GMT
In #71, I was under the impression that Graeme says "padgy-jim jams" not "piggy-jim-jams"  at least that's the way my entire fabric of existence has been constructed upon.
Posted by:Aefgoth


date: 17/10/2006 10:00 GMT
I think so too, Aefgoth
Posted by:Flippa


date: 01/01/2007 00:10 GMT
goodies radio is the best episode!EVER.
Posted by:prins_namor


date: 10/01/2007 05:14 GMT
It's been a few months since I've opened up this file to check the comments, so sorry about the late reply Aefgoth and Flippa.  I've just had a very close listen to the episode sound track (with my ear glued to the TV speaker!) and "piggy" it is, I'm afraid.  Sorry to deconstruct your entire fabric of existence!
Posted by:bretta


date: 22/02/2007 07:21 GMT
some great quotes-even some i'd never heard!
Posted by:giantdougal


date: 11/07/2007 10:32 GMT
Posted by:prins_namor


date: 08/06/2008 02:35 GMT
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