» Nov 2009
* THE GOODIES FAN CLUB CLARION AND GLOBE *
* THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK!' *
Issue No. 168 12th November 2009
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
- Brett Allender <firstname.lastname@example.org>
- Lisa Manekofsky
- Brian Labza, Amanda Stokes, Jenny_Gibbon, Raymond
1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS - The latest club news and happenings
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings
4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
5. A COLLECTION OF GOODIES THEMES #14 – Live Music Performances
6. GOODIES WORD FINDER SOLUTION from last month's edition
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
QUOTE: "And we are, er ... going to ... do good ... to people."
(a) Which Goody says this quote?
(b) What is his fellow Goody's scornful response?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode "Lips Or Almighty Cod"
(d) Which frisky fish ends up being put in with the kippers after it has made a crash landing outside its tank?
(e) Who does Bill think is out on the lake after Tim's description of them having "slanty eyes, little floppy noses and fur coats"?
(f) Where do the Goodies travel to in order to regain a cod and what disguise do they use in the process?
(g) After many failed attempts, what does Graeme inadvertently do that eventually annoys his fish?
(h) What is the name (and picture) on the pedal boat that Tim and Bill scramble onto to get away from the cod?
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
2. BOFFO IDEAS
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <email@example.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!
(by Lisa Manekofsky)
It's hard to believe, but this November marks the Goodies Rule - OK! Fan Club's 14th anniversary. Normally when it comes to anniversaries one thinks of the multiples of five as being the most significant, but this has proven to be an exciting year for Goodies fans as well as the club itself.
Among this year's highlights were Tim & Graeme's "The Goodies: Before, During and After" shows in Sydney & Parramatta and the related recovery of the elusive missing footage from "The Commonwealth Games" episode (both of which are discussed in more detail in the Clarion & Globe's "World's Funniest Island" Special Edition). "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" made a welcome return, both to BBC Radio 4 and as a stage tour which visited nineteen British cities between July and October.
GROK itself achieved several noteworthy milestones over this past year. Fan club membership passed 5,000, while our Goodies Facebook page (www.facebook.com/thegoodies ) now has over 40,000 fans. As always, our members contributions' are more important to us than the numbers – the statistics simply serve as an encouraging sign that people enjoy what we have to offer, not to mention their highlighting the huge interest in The Goodies (our website, which is freely available to fans who haven't registered as club members, received over 20,000 unique visitors and 700,000 hits last month alone!)
Speaking of Goodies fandom, here's a fun piece of trivia courtesy of the Facebook page: a fan named Deb. S posted that she sent her partner in the Antarctic a copy of The Goodies "Tasty Box" DVD set as a Christmas present, which she said he loved (and luckily remembered to bring back with him when he returned home). This means that "The Goodies" has been seen on every continent!
As GROK enters its 15th year let me thank, as always, the hardworking members of the club staff who provide material, edit the newsletter, keep the website & mailing lists operating smoothly, manage our t-shirt sales, and contribute in countless other ways. I'm sure I can speak for all the staff in thanking the fans for their patronage of and contributions to the club's website, newsletter, and mailing list; you help us keep it fun and interesting! As ever, our gratitude goes out to Tim, Graeme, and Bill for their support (and all the laughter).
Let's hope next year is as eventful as this one!
Last month's poll looked at which mode of Goodies transport might give an easier ride and the cart drawn by Rolf came in a distant last, which was a good start. The mobile office with busted brakes and last-second emergency switch had its followers, but it seems as though just on half the voters would be most content to brave a ride on the trandem, despite Bill's warning that its red colour isn't the paint but rather the Goodies congealed blood!
Which mode of Goodies transport would you prefer - the trandem or their mobile office?
- the trandem 62 votes
- the mobile office 39 votes
- I'd rather have a Rolf-drawn cart 24 votes
Total: 125 votes
This month you've got a choice of a few more poll options but the question is just as tricky and might even lead to an embarrassing answer yet. Mine would be "only in the company of fellow Goodies fans" or "only if I thought that nobody else was watching", but yours might be something totally different altogether. Hopefully though it's one of the five listed below, so B a little funky and swing over to the website to cast your vote now. You know it makes sense!
Do you Do the Funky Gibbon?
- you can get arrested for that
- I prefer the Festering Ferret
- only with Rolf Harris
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <firstname.lastname@example.org> with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! the Goodies this month:
* PLEASE NOTE: All Spotted!!! Items from the World's Funniest Island are in this month's Special Edition of the Clarion & Globe *
(Lisa Manekofsky – 8th Nov)
* Thursdays & Sundays - SKY NZ's New Comedy Central channel is repeating "The Goodies". (Thanks for raymond for this info!)
4. 2001 AND A BIT
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <email@example.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Large files (such as scans of articles or photos) for posting on the club's website can be sent to us at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Those of you seeking radio and tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-l mailing list (more details available on the club website), as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
** (All items in this section contributed by Lisa Manekofsky, except where otherwise credited) **
Are you still in touch with former AW presenter Bill Oddie?
KH: Yes, we text, and Chris saw him a couple times over the summer. He's getting much better (Bill was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2001), which is good news. He sent a text recently saying, 'Good on you girl and congratulations to Chris', which we read out on the show. He's a tremendously special person. I'd be lying if I said he didn't drive me totally nuts at times, but he's inspirational, a national institution. Not like a bag of soggy fish and chips. He's part of British culture in the nicest possible way.
Bill Oddie's rock chick daughter strips for band's debut single
Nov 7 2009 Rick Fulton
IN just a see-through vest top and pants, Rosie Oddie isn't wrong when she says she's not a good girl.
And she should know. The 23-year old singer, the only female in her band, is the daughter of Goodies comedy legend turned-birdwatcher Bill Oddie. On Monday, her band Oddyssey are about to release their debut single Black America - and for the video she strips to her vest and pants.
But Bill, 68, couldn't be prouder of his daughter's quest to become a singer.
She said: "Of course he's proud. He and my mum have been really supportive of everything I've wanted to do and always will be.
"That video was a nightmare. It took me about a month to do it.
"The paint was acrylic. It stuck to my scalp. But it was definitely worth it."
Rosie is the only daughter from Bill's second marriage to Laura Beaumont. He has two daughters from his first marriage, actress Kate Hardie and Bonnie.
Earlier this year, Bill was admitted to a psychiatric hospital to deal with depression. He's suffered from it for most of his life and it was clinically diagnosed in 2001.
It came two months after he quit the ever-popular Springwatch show he'd hosted for four years.
But his daughter said that he was much better.
"He's fine. He's on the mend.
"He's having some time out to decide what he wants to do.
"I'm sure he'll come back to Springwatch."
While it's only been a few years since the public found out about Bill's bouts of depression, Rosie grew up with it and is reluctant to reveal more than to say: "It is what it is.
"A lot of people have to deal with much worse."
Rosie is the latest of a new breed of young hopefuls who have a famous parent, from Lily Allen and Peaches Geldof to Kelly Osbourne and Nicole Richie.
She could have followed the example of Lily Allen's solo career and was approached at the age of 16 by Scot Alan McGee, who discovered Oasis, but said she "didn't want to do something proper".
When she was still in her teens, Spandau Ballet songwriter Gary Kemp, a friend of Rosie's half-sister Kate Hardie, introduced her to Polydor.
She did some demos but said they were too polished for her style.
Rosie said: "I could have gone for the solo career and pushed the family name. And there's been times when I've thought, maybe I should have done that, all those different chances would have benefited me.
"But it wasn't what I wanted. I want to be in a band.
"If I get a chance to do what I want, the satisfaction will be far higher than if I'd had that manufactured deal at a young age.
"It has been difficult because of the name, because it's so recognisable and it's hard to be taken seriously by some people.
"Doors open more but people are quicker to judge.
"If Peaches Geldof was to release a record, I'd be the same. I'd be quick to judge and think she's just getting a deal because of her dad.
"I just have to work really hard and make sure what I put out there is f***ing great."
Rosie knew Peaches Geldof because they both went to Queen's College, the exclusive girls' school on London's Harley Street.
Rosie admits she was a bit of a rebel: "I wasn't a good girl. I was rebellious, not hugely but there was an element.
"I was rowdy. The school was very forgiving and saw my potential."
She was musically talented at an early age - taught drums by her mum and then guitar by one of her dad's friends from when she was nine, beginning with Wonderwall by Oasis.
At school, she was in a band called Sushi, who performed Beatles covers at the school's jazz concerts.
She also discovered her dad's music.
Bill penned comedy trio The Goodies' quirky songs.
In 1975, they chalked up five hit singles in 12 months including The Inbetweenies and Funky Gibbon, which reached No.4 in the charts.
"I love my dad's music," says Rosie without any hint of embarrassment. "When I was younger and first discovered what he did, I used to play Funky Gibbon all the time.
"As well as comedy songs, musically they were very cleverly done.
"They weren't just skits, they were intelligently put together songs. My favourite is Black Pudding Bertha."
A keen artist too, Rosie was studying illustration at Camberwell College of Arts but dropped out when she won a songwriting competition.
For the past couple of years, she has fronted a band called Rosie Oddie and the Odd Squad - an art-folk band.
They have mutated into Oddyssey -an art-rock outfit who are a bit Blondie, a bit Paramore.
She says she is definitely not trying to be like Lily Allen, daughter of Comic Strip actor Keith.
Rosie said: "I've never met her. They compare us because we are London girls.
"I have never wanted to be a solo artist. I would get lonely. I love being part of a band."
The Goodies trio made us laugh - Rosie is hoping her band will make us rock.
* Fri, 13 Nov - "SMart!" on CBBC at 09:25 is a repeat of an episode featuring a guest appearance by Bill.
* Fri, 13 Nov; Mon, 16 Nov; Tues, 17 Nov - "Birding with Bill Oddie" repeats on Blighty at 18:00-19:00
* Sun, 15 Now - "Green Balloon Club" on CBeebies at 09:00 is a repeat which includes a visit from Bill.
* Weds, 18 Nov-Fri, 20 Nov - "Bill Oddie's How to Watch Wildlife" on Blighty at 18:00-19:00
Here are Listen Again links for three radio shows with Graeme. Please note that the "available until" is the time in the UK (though the shows can be heard worldwide).
* The Unbelievable Truth - Series 4 - Episode 3
David Mitchell hosts the game show in which panellists are encouraged to tell lies and compete to see how many items of truth they are able to smuggle past their opponents.
With Arthur Smith, Phill Jupitus, Tony Hawks and Graeme Garden. Available until: 6:02pm Monday 26th October 2009
* The Long Hot Satsuma Episode 8
Sketch show with Paul B Davies, Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Julia Hills and Alison Steadman. From July 1989. Available until: 2:32am Monday 26th October 2009
* One - Series 3 Episode 3
Sketch show written by David Quantick, in which no item features more than one voice.
With Graeme Garden, Dan Maier, Johnny Daukes, Deborah Norton, Katie Davies, Dan Antopolski, Andrew Crawford and David Quantick.
Available until: 10:17pm Wednesday 28th October 2009
* Mon, 9 Nov - "The Unbelievable Truth" series 4 on BBC Radio 4 at 18:30; Graeme appears in this episode. It can be heard online from www.bbc.co.uk/radio4 and will be available from the BBC iPlayer for a week after broadcast.
* Weds, 11 Nov - "One" Series 3 on BBC Radio 4 (www.bbc.co.uk/radio4 ) at 23:00 with Graeme. The show will be available for a week after broadcast from the BBC iPlayer.
* Mon, 16 Nov - "What the Dickens?" on SkyArts at 22:30 is a repeat of the episode with Graeme.
The show will also be repeated on BBC Radio 4 (www.bbc.co.uk/radio4) at noon this Sunday. The other panellists in this episode are Arthur Smith, Phill Jupitus, and Tony Hawks.
* Next week the US cable channel IFC is airing the six part documentary "Monty Python: Almost the Truth (the Lawyer's Cut)" from Oct 18-23 at 9:00pm Eastern (8pm Central). I believe Tim will appear in an early episode to talk about "At Last the 1948 Show".
It will be out on DVD worldwide later this year (the full series that is).
(Brian Labza – 18th Oct)
Tim appears in a video on the Newbury Today website (http://www.newburytoday.co.uk/News/Article.aspx?articleID=11420 ) in an article about the launch of the Royal British Legion's Poppy Appeal during Armed Forces Day at Newbury Racecourse this past Saturday. The article says "A presentation was made to Tadley poppy seller Freda Keel, who has been raising money for the Legion for 70 years. She was given a certificate in recognition of her work by comedian Tim Brooke-Taylor, known for his part in The Goodies."
* Thanks to Jenny_Gibbon for the info that Tim's episode of Absolute Power is being repeated on Thursday (29/10/2009) on Dave at 23.00.
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
Jack Dee to host Radio 4's Clue
Comedian Jack Dee will host the next series of long-running BBC Radio 4 show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.
The programme was presented by Humphrey Lyttelton for 36 years, until his death last year.
Stephen Fry, Jack Dee and Rob Brydon shared hosting duties for the last series of the show.
Dee will take the helm alone for the next series, beginning on 16 November.
A permanent new host has still yet to be appointed.
*The following is a message from the official I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue mailing list.
Dear I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Mailing List Member
This is to bring you news of the first two recordings in the forthcoming series of 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue'.
As you may have heard recently, Jack Dee has been confirmed as host for this series.
Our first recording is at the Old Vic Theatre, The Cut, London SE1 8NB, on Monday 26th October. Tickets are £10, £8 and £6. The panel will comprise the regulars (Tim, Graeme and Barry) plus Rob Brydon. The recording starts at 7.30pm and will finish no later than 10.30pm. As the theatre is in London and not large (around 1000 seats) and in the light of the huge inconvenience many people suffered trying to book tickets to the show at Her Majesty's Theatre in April, I have decided to take the advice many of you have been giving me and set up a lottery system for this recording via the Ambassadors Theatre Group ticketing agency used by The Old Vic. If you are free on the date and would like to attend the recording, to take part in the lottery, you need to click on this link:
Simply follow the instructions and fill in the form. You have until 6pm tomorrow (Tuesday 20th October) to have registered your interest in buying tickets - then the ATG booking office will make a random selection. To increase people's chances of getting tickets and hopefully cut down on the touting of tickets, we've restricted them to no more than 2 per applicant. So - fingers crossed.
Our second recording is at the Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park, Chichester, West Sussex P019 6AP on Monday 9th November. Tickets are again £10, £8 and £6, and again the recording will feature the regular panel plus this time special guest panellist David Mitchell. Again the recording starts at 7.30pm and will finish no later than 10.30pm. Tickets for this show are again limited to 2 per applicant and can be obtained from 10am tomorrow (Tuesday 20th October). They are bookable 24 hours a day at www.cft.org.uk or via the theatre's box office on 01243 781312 which is open Monday-Saturday from 10am-8pm (6pm when no performance). You would be strongly advised to book early!
Very sorry to the many of you who have been kind enough to send emails to this address. I've been on tour and just haven't had a moment to deal with any of them. I'm not going to get through the backlog for a while - apologies.
With best wishes
Producer, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue
* I mentioned in the Clarion & Globe #167 that there was a DVD available for I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue.
Well I finally managed to track a copy down at JB HiFi in Market Square in Geelong; the cost was $28.99.
I figure if it’s one JB it’s bound to be at others; or else they can order it in.
(Amanda Stokes – 26th Oct)
* Jack Dee was a guest on BBC Radio 4's "Loose Ends" this past Saturday, 24 October. Among other things, he talks about hosting the next series of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue".
Here's an excerpt from the interview which mentions ISIHAC:
Away from television, Dee has spent his time well. Over the last three months he has been touring the country, hosting a not-for-broadcast version of I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. He says he enjoys a format where even a sober suit is out of sight and "you literally only have to worry about the content and to that extent you are freed up"*he says. "It's very rare that you record a TV show that would have as good an atmosphere as a radio show, which is such an intimate thing."
* The following is from the official I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue mailing list.
Dear I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Mailing List Member
This is to let you know that the final recording in the Autumn series of the show (which starts transmission at 6.30pm on Monday 16th November) will take place at the Futurist Theatre in Scarborough on Sunday 6th December. Jack Dee will be chairing the show with the regular panel of Tim, Barry and Graeme plus Jo Brand as special guest. Tickets will go on sale at 10am on Monday 9th November and are priced at £7.50 and £5. The tickets will be obtainable from the theatre's box office, either by telephone (Tel. 01723 365789 / 374500 / 370742) or by turning up in person. The theatre's address is: Futurist Theatre, Foreshore Road, Scarborough, North Yorkshire YO11 1NT. The box office hours are Monday till Saturday 10am till 6pm (Sunday 11am till 4pm). It's a large theatre (over 2000 seats) so we've been able to keep the ticket price down, and I'm hopeful that more people will be able to obtain tickets than is often the case, but as always it's best to book early as they will almost certainly sell out on the day they go on sale.
Thank you to all who attended our recording at the Old Vic on Monday 26th October and made it such an enjoyable evening. I hope the lottery ticketing distribution system was deemed to be a less frustrating booking process than before. The box office had six times as many applications for tickets as there were seats available, so it would appear we did the right thing. I look forward to seeing many of you at our recording in Chichester next Monday.
With best wishes
Producer, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue
* Monday starting 16 Nov - A new series of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" on BBC Radio 4 at 18:30 Mondays, with each episode repeated the following Sunday at noon. Broadcasts can be heard worldwide from www.bbc.co.uk/radio4 . Each episode will be available for a week after the initial broadcast from the BBC iPlayer. Here's the listing for the first episode: "The perennial antidote to panel games comes from the Old Vic Theatre in London, with Jack Dee taking over the chairman's role. Regulars Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor are joined by Rob Brydon. With Colin Sell at the piano."
* Tuesdays - "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" on RTE Choice at 08:00. Also on Sundays at 09:30.
5. A COLLECTION OF GOODIES THEMES #14
(by Brett Allender)
LIVE MUSIC PERFORMANCES
While 'The Goodies' is renowned for its live cartoon / silent movie-style visual effects and slapstick humour, another vital element of the overall package are the wonderful songs which permeate almost every episode to varying degrees either as backing music or live performances. With a considerable number of the songs written by Bill Oddie and all of them tailored specifically to fit into a particular Goodies storyline, they have a particular leaning towards pop, country and old-fashioned sing-along musical style, but also encompass a wide range of other styles such as disco, blues, jazz and rock.
Many of the Goodies' songs are purely used as backing music for a particular scene, however this article will look at the instances where the songs are performed as a distinct part of the plot; much like in a stage musical where one or more characters will suddenly break into song and that song actually furthers the storyline of the show.
Leaving aside a couple of little cameos like Bill's advertising jingles in 'Snooze' and 'Radio Goodies' and the three Goodies' rousing chorus of 'Roamin' In The Gloamin'' in a vain bid to impress the Scottish tourism operator in 'Loch Ness Monster', the first notable instance of a live music performance in The Goodies comes in 'The Music Lovers'. Graeme suspects that someone has deliberately stealing various bands and musicians and he proposes that the Goodies should also become famous performers, so that they also get stolen and then find out who is responsible and put a stop to them. The main problem is that they can't play anything, but after Bill expertly tunes the piano (with a big wrench like it's a motor car) and Tim and Graeme stretch the accordion to breaking point, they realise that their other problem is a lack of numbers. G: "We have got to become a Philharmonic Orchestra" B: "But there's only three of us!" G: "Well we'll just have to move around a bit!" Fortunately Graeme has programmed his computer to do the backing music, so they are now ready to rock and roll. Unsure of what to play, Tim suggests 'Land Of Hope And Glory' "just in case they want us to do the Last Night At The Prom", so Bill unleashes a sizzling rendition of it on his electric guitar, with Graeme on piano and Tim and his two pretty glee singers providing the high notes in the background. The thugs duly arrive afterwards, but only take Tim's two glee singers, leaving the Goodies indignant that they weren't taken as well only to be told by one of the thugs that it's because "You ain't good enough!"
Following this, the Goodies decide to stage a live open-air concert on Hackney Marshes in a bid to be stolen, though this is primarily a visual sequence with the backing song of 'Philharmonic Glee Club Rock & Roll Band'. Later in this episode however, Bill strikes up a lively square dance rhythm along with organ accompaniment by the Music Master, and with lyrics such as "Now everyone stop and doe-se-doe, punch your partner on the nose. Slap his face, kick his shin, all join arms and around again!" the Goodies are able to make a temporary getaway from their distracted captors.
Interestingly the next main music performance comes in the episode featuring the second appearance of the Music Master aka "Nasty Person": "For Those In Peril On The Sea". This time he is disguised as the oil millionaire Stavros Monopolopolous, who is aboard a huge oil tanker which is spewing vast amounts of filthy black oil into the South Pacific Ocean. The Goodies claim to be "humble shipwrecked sailors" but Nasty Person's suspicion is aroused by them not recognising that his sailors are wearing bellbottoms (with one bell ringing on each hip!). This suspicion is confirmed when the Goodies run out of puff on the very last note of an otherwise rousing rendition of 'There Is Nothing Like A Dame', with Nasty Person triumphantly declaring: "Haha, I knew it! You're not real sailors! That last note always sorts 'em out!" Their punishment is being promptly forced to walk the plank, with Nasty Person's dopey offsider Gerald brandishing his gun to encourage them to make a quick jump at the end!
The Series 3 special 'Superstar' features three Goodies singing efforts; of which two were released on the seventies LP 'The Goodies Sing Songs From The Goodies'. The first of these is the revoltingly nice 'Sparrow Song' which is supposedly penned by Tim as an antidote to all of the rude and offensive songs that are dominating the pop charts at the time. Unscrupulous music agent Isobel Chintz is utterly unimpressed by this effort and tells the Goodies to get out of her office, even after toying with the idea that the song might be a good one for the kiddies: "Could be a real smash. Give it new words, new tune … smash!" However she is considerably more impressed by the Goodies' stomach-churning performance of "Mummy I Don't Like My Meat" on the Maxie Grease Show which has the studio audience reaching for paper bags and old Granny almost drowning in tears inside the Granny-O-Meter, so she hires Bill and turns him into a pop star so that she can exploit him. Despite him being "fat, hairy and horrible" (and not having released a record yet!), Bill as 'Randy Pandy' soon rules the pop charts and is booked by Isobel as the star of the new rock musical St.Augustine Superstar in which he will become a monk, enter a monastery and become a sex symbol for everyone, even those in the "twilight zone", according to her. This firstly involves a live appearance on 'Top Of The Pops' in which Randy Pandy performs a glam rock number called 'I Don't Want Your Love', with the assistance of Pan's Nuns and the Mincing Monks, to an audience of hysterical teenagers. Bill then has doubts about his new-found superstardom and these are confirmed when Tim and Graeme strut in as camped-up groupies to put him right off the whole idea of being famous!
In 'Hospital For Hire' the Goodies are determined to cure the ills of the National Health Service by hitting the road spruiking Graeme's new magic all-purpose elixir in an evangelical-style "I got that healin' feelin' " sideshow. In a very catchy gospel-style performance, Bill preaches the word by song that "You're gonna be cured", Graeme eulogises that his elixir cures " prostration, inflation and frustration ... pneumonia and old monia ... distemper, dat temper and bad temper ... sunburn, heartburn ... and Tony Blackburn!", while Tim is a "poor sufferin' boy" who is miraculously cured by the elixir's magic medicinal (and alcoholic) properties.
'The Goodies And The Beanstalk' features one of the show's most memorable live music efforts with a brilliant rendition of 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' (from 'High Society') as only the Goodies could do it – with the help of various animals in the giant's castle who have their footage superbly edited by the legendary producer Jim Franklin to make it appear as though they are singing along as well. The sheep, dog, owl, parrot, chooks and ducks absolutely steal the scene in this one, although Graeme's Groucho Marx impression is well worthy of a mention too!
The 'Housewife Of The Year' contest in 'Chubby Chumps' is kicked off by Bill masquerading as Lionel Bleeeah performing a very camp rendition of 'Les Girls' with the help of a troupe of pink-suited male dancers. As Bill sings "Boys, she'll really make you a man ..." one of the dancers sashays up to him and utters "Oh will she make me one too?!" and at the end of the song Lionel prances off the stage hand in hand with another of the dancers before Terry (Graeme in disguise) introduces the judges and housewives. From the same series, 'Wacky Wales' has the Goodies showing the repressed locals all of the fun that they are missing by livening up the eisteddfod (an old Welsh term for "bored stiff", according to Reverend Llewellyn) with a rousing routine of fan dancers, magicians, rock singers and plenty of bare flesh. Bill pumps out a rocking version of "We'll Keep A Welcome" but it still fails to impress or excite the locals, who continue munching stoically on their leeks throughout the Goodies song and dance spectacular.
'Lighthouse Keeping Loonies' has the lads looking for some entertainment to relieve their boredom from being marooned in a lighthouse for the next five years, thanks to Graeme misreading the ad: "I thought it said a little light housekeeping!" In the 'Bumper Book Of Sea Shanties' they find the 'Song Of The Jollyrock' and are initially excited (T: "Hey hey, that's us! Fancy having a song about our lighthouse!"), launching into their singing with gusto until they gradually realise that the Jollyrock isn't such a jolly place to be after all according to the lyrics. Despite lines such as "But you've heard of the Jolly Rock, of that I am sure, Go there and your loved ones will see you no more" and "Oh funny things happen there, it's such a disgrace, 'Coz people get killed there all over the place!", they keep merrily singing away until the final non-rhyming verse of "Oh your blood will run cold and your heart fill with dread, 'Coz the Jolly Rock is filled with the souls of the dead, If you stay there one night, you'll go clean off your head, And in no time at all you'll probably catch mumps ..." fulfils its dire prophesy on Tim!
'Hype Pressure' in Series 6 features three live performances; firstly the tone-deaf warbling of a little song titled 'The World Is Full Of Women And Men' by folk singers Bill and Graeme on Tim's new TV (lack of) talent show that is a surprise hit with the judges, much to Tim's frothy-mouthed fury. The second song has the Goodies reviving the fifties rock 'n roll era with a wild and rowdy number called 'R.O.C.K. Rock,' which degenerates into them using hammers on drums, and chisels and paint rollers on the piano. In a surreal twist, Graeme and Bill are watching this performance on TV, and the "devil's music" is enough for Graeme to jump up and down on the couch yelling "Nobody understands me!", and start slashing the cushions to bits with a razor blade, until Bill turns the TV off in despair and a contrite and embarrassed Graeme says "I really shouldn't be doing this, should I?!" The third song comes about when Bill will only appear on Tim's TV show if he can sing a "song of peace", so the hippy William and Grayfunkel head into the studio to 'Sing A Song Of Flowers', only to find an obnoxious director Tim doing his best to ruin their performance by cueing for all sorts of objects to be pelted at them while they sing. After he initially cues for flowers to be dropped on them, Tim gets increasingly loonier and orders them to be doused with flour, water, wind, balls, fertilizer and furry toys. He also interferes with all sorts of different TV programs on other channels, then finally detonates landmines, which blow the entire set up.
Two rather short but very catchy songs bob up in latter part of Series 6 as integral bits of the episodes that they appear in. The little advertising ditty of 'Everybody Loves String' by Bill and Graeme ("String, string, string, string, everybody loves string, String, string, string, string, everybody needs string, Pull up your pants, slip on your vest, everyone agrees, string is best!") gets a good workout during the final chase scene of 'It Might As Well Be String' while Tim and his fellow MCC old-timers get to clear their throats for a brief rendition of 'We Are The Lads Of The MCC' during '2001 And A Bit' before getting to do a longer version while the credits are rolling. The final episode of this series, 'The Goodies Almost Live', is also worth a mention as it fits the criteria in basically being a collection of live music performances put together into a concert showcasing the Goodies' hit songs, containing short but snappy and very enjoyable video clips of tracks such as Funky Gibbon, Cactus In My Y-Fronts, The Inbetweenies, Sick Man Blues, Black Pudding Bertha and a legendary rendition of Wild Thing towards the end of the show.
'Punky Business' in Series 7 contains two sensational live Goodies music numbers and another cameo, even if their target audiences were suitably underwhelmed on each occasion. The irresistibly catchy and very colourful 'Shiny Shoes' routine at the start of the episode is just magic entertainment, made all the funnier by the Goodies getting booed and pelted with fairy cakes by an audience of obnoxious punk grannies, while Bill's solo performance of 'I'm In Love For The Very First Time' at the Trendsetters Ball is nothing special music-wise, but quite hilarious visually. His epic self-torture of the Oddie body using a plate, bricks, mallet, rake, weight, giant pliers (recreating the Nutcracker Suite!), sandbag, bowling ball, hangman's noose, etc while staying in tune is indeed worthy of him being declared "Officially Amazing", despite him being upstaged by the mysterious entry of Punkarella before the judges can give him a score. The cameo comes when the Little Laddies decide to go out "on the road" – playing their music in the middle of heavy traffic (with Graeme's drum kit poleaxed by a motorbike) before they are taken away by the cops (who at least appreciate the 'Shiny Shoes' routine as they've all got "socking great feet", according to Bill!) for a full booking of police social club gigs.
Similarly 'Saturday Night Grease' in Series 8 features more than one memorable musical moment. There are two reasonably brief but suitably manic send-ups; firstly of 'Summer Lovin' where Tim is smitten with "Australian plastic bint" Livvy while Bill and Graeme provide the backing "oom bop bops" until their embarrassment finally overrules their enthusiasm, and 'Greased Lightning' which becomes 'Greased Cycling' in the Goodies version where they "need wheels" to get to the disco, only to make an almighty scramble of their trusty trandem when they try to remodel it. Later in the episode, the Mixed Dancing Contest at Disco Bilius is all set to be declared null and void due to a lack of contestants until an unlikely duo emerge - Tim Revolta, complete with straightjacket and shackles, and the stunning Olivia Newton Grayboots battling a lethal combination of tight jeans and very high heeled shoes launch into a somewhat rickety rendition of 'You're The One That I Want'. This proves to be a hit with the distinguished panel of judges, even though Graeme is ultimately disqualified after he is dewigged by an annoyed Bill who wants to keep the prize money from the contest for himself.
The final LWT series doesn't tend to feature as much Goodies music as the BBC run, with vocal group Bones doing much of the backing singing in various episodes. However there are two main instances of live Goodies music; the first being a colourful pantomime-style performance of 'M.A.N - That's How We Spell WORK' in conjunction with the princesses who have taken over the castle. The Goodies are forced to dress up in an incredible variety of weird and tasteless costumes including bellhops, chefs who pepper each other with pies in the face, lion rugs which are jumped on by the girls, genies from a magic lamp, geese which are flogged to produce golden eggs, and cannibals with bones in their noses, before the princesses ultimately show their lack of gratitude by turfing the Goodies out of the castle and onto the scrapheap with the other pantomime men. There is also a brief cameo of the rather silly 'I Lift Up My Finger And I Say Tweet Tweet' which the Goodies soon leave the dwarfs and other men to sing while they usher the princesses out of the palace and far far away.
The final Goodies music number comes in 'Holidays' where their initially gentle musical entertainment soon degenerates into a shouting punk rock rendition of 'Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside'. With Bill doing a fair impersonation of Animal from 'The Muppets' on the drums, Tim creating an interesting sound effect by blasting a nosy sheep away from the window with a shotgun, and the dropping of the f-bomb in the lyrics at the end, the three of them morph into rioting punk rockers who have great pleasure in trashing their hellhole cabin to bits.
While only a few of these songs actually made it onto the Goodies commercially released LPs, they are fortunately embedded in the show right throughout the whole spread of episodes for us to enjoy, sing along with and laugh along with as well!
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6. GOODIES WORD FINDER SOLUTION
(from C&G 167)
Solution of two words (9 and 6 letters) - clue: "An essential requirement for being allowed entry to Disco Bilius"
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
(b) Bill: "How wet!"
(c) Beefeaters (Tower Of London)
(d) A trout
(e) Liza Minelli
(f) To Greenland (Eskimoland) as MCC (cricket) players
(g) He puts on a Max Bygraves record
(h) Lenny Lion
8 Mastermind Of The Year
7 Goodies fan supreme
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Goody Goody effort
1-2 Time to watch some more episodes
0 Are you sure you're not Rolf Harris?!
NEXT C&G EDITION:
- #169: 12th December 2009.
- Jan / Feb: Goodies Music Review – Melody Farm
- Jan / Feb: A Collection Of Goodies Themes – Goodies Targets: Vanessa Redgrave & Mary Whitehouse
Updated to C&G 162 (May 2009)
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