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THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE

THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB

Issue No. 106 12th September 2004

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'The Goodies Rule - OK!'

Chadstone VIC 3148, AUSTRALIA

THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G

- David Piper-Balston

COOL COR COMIC REVIEWER:

C&G CONTRIBUTORS: Tim Brooke Taylor, Brian Labza, Peter Wearden, Daniel Bowen, Amy Rixon, Ross Harris, David Drury

1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you

2. BOFFO IDEAS - News and club happenings.

3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.

4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.

5. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY - Animals

6. GOODIES COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #33

7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS

(by "Magnus Magnesium")

QUOTE: "Nobody dares call him that anymore! He means ... the Goodyfather!"

(a) Which Goodie says this quote?

(b) Who is he talking about?

QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "Clown Virus"

(d) What is the name of the soldier in charge of the U.S. base?

(e) What does he ask the Goodies to dispose of?

(f) How do they eventually dispose of it?

(g) What colour is Graeme's wildly-springing hair when he turns into a clown?

(h) Who emerges from the magic box after it has had bayonets thrust into it by the American soldiers?

The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.

You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:

SLOWER THAN MAX BYGRAVES ...

Apologies to one and all for the lateness of this month's C&G and also my own tardiness in responding to e-mails, sending out badges to C&G contributors and so on. I'm afraid it's been a case of "work work work" (sadly not rubbing down Raquel Welsh either!) but hopefully within the next week or two I'll get around to sending the badges out to the deserving contributors to the past two C&Gs, finish the music review that I've been putting off for the past three editions and generally get the good ship Saucy Gibbon back on course again. These are dark days and the storm clouds gather around us. But never fear. I pledge that I, your editor, will see you safely through to a better C&G. And now ... a walk in the Spotted!!! section!

More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:

WHICH GOODY ARE YOU?

After mentioning the two websites for determining which Goodies character you match up with in the previous edition of the C&G, it was a pleasure to receive the following response from Tim Brooke Taylor via homing kangaroo:

"I've just done the two quizzes in your latest newsletter. And, you're not going to believe this, but I came out as me, both times! Just to make it quite clear, I answered the questions as my character, not the real me."

LATEST GOODIES DVD INFORMATION

(by Lisa Manekofsky)

(compiled from material provided by David Balston & Alison Bean plus the many fans who contributed info on goodies-l and the website forums including Brian Labza, Peter Wearden, Daniel Bowen, and Amy Rixon)

We've been in touch with Network who have asked us to bear with them a little longer; they hope to be able to give us some news about the next Goodies DVD in about a month. In the meantime, they confirmed that Goodies Volume 2 is still in the works. It's possible the DVD will be released in November or December.

In related news, various Australian vendors have begun to advertise a second Goodies DVD. Here's a link to a representative listing:

http://www.ezydvd.com.au/item.zml/229377

Two different release dates are being given, 2 December and 12 December. Amy Rixon confirmed that the distributor, Roadshow Entertainment, is using the 2 December date in their promotional materials (Amy's full post to goodies-l appears later in this issue).

Most vendors say the DVD will have six episodes but the titles they list are actually for the intended special features. In a post to goodies-l Alison Bean provided information (or best guesses) about these items:

* "Christmas Night with the Stars" was an annual Christmas spectacular for which The Goodies made a sketch in 1972. The sketch consists of The Goodies cheering up an orphan at Christmas by putting on a spectacular show. It's rather sweet.

* "Pebble Mill At One" was an early afternoon BBC chat show (with a similar format to Australia's "Midday Show"). Tim Brooke-Taylor came on the show in about 1991 to promote a play he was in. Barry Cryer also came on the show that day and they, along with the other guests and the hosts ended up playing Mornington Crescent (the infamous game from "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue"). There was also a barber shop quartet on the show that day and they serenaded Tim with a short song they'd written about him which contained the line "people say he's so Goody Goody" (or something like that). According to "The Complete Goodies" by Robert Ross, Bill Oddie also appeared on "Pebble Mill" a couple of times in 1986, presenting a story about birding in the Seychelles. I would guess that these were not the only appearances the Goodies made on this show, so we'll have to wait and see on this one.

* "The Golden Rose" was a half hour documentary presented by The Goodies about the 1975 "Golden Rose" TV awards in Montreux. The Goodies are appropriate hosts as that year they won their second silver rose for the episode "Movies". What a great extra.

* "Crackerjack" was a kids show from the 70s and according to "The Complete Goodies", The Goodies sang their song "The Inbetweenies" in Crackerjack's 1974 pantomime, before flying their trandem into outer space. Robert Ross observes that that this flying bike idea was later used in ET. Perhaps The Goodies should sue?

* "Look East" was some sort of magazine programme, I think. The DVD extra will therefore most likely be some kind of story about "The Goodies".

* the "Horizon" thing is indeed where you get to see how various Goodies special effects were achieved.

My assumption had been that the Australian DVD would be the same as the UK one (other than having a different title and artwork). However, we'll have to wait for our next update from Network to confirm if that actually will be the case. Either way, it sounds like we've got a great new DVD to look forward to!

DVD AUSTRALIAN RELEASE INFORMATION

(Amy Rixon – Goodies-l – September 5th)

At work this last week, I received a booklet from Roadshow (the Australian distributor of the Goodies DVD) with the dates of new release DVD's in it. According to the booklet, the new Goodies DVD will be coming out on the 2nd December. It didn't have any more information about what episodes are on it, apart from saying that there will be 6.

It did have a blurb about the Goodies with a picture as well as listing the special features that will be on the DVD (the same ones that have already been mentioned on the mailing list). What strikes me as funny is that Roadshow always call the Goodies' bike a 'tandem'. Isn't it known as a 'trandem'?

It's also interesting to note that they had used a whole page in the booklet to promote the Goodies DVD (normally they have either 6 or 9 DVDs on a page with a small blurb about each and the release date), and it was even in the November releases booklet so it looks like Roadshow are going to be doing a big promotion on it or are expecting it to be a big seller!!

AT LAST ... THE 1948 SHOW DVD POSSIBILITY

(by Lisa Manekofsky)

Tim Brooke-Taylor has confirmed that a DVD of "At Last the 1948 Show" is being planned. It's far too early for us to have any details about the exact contents or potential release date, although I imagine it won't come out until at least next year.

As many people know, for many years most episodes of "At Last the 1948 Show" were feared lost because they'd been wiped (like many other shows from its era). Luckily much of the footage from the 13 episodes has been recovered; as mentioned in C&G #96 a restored episode was aired by the BBC this past December as part of a "Missing Believed Wiped" night.

For those unfamiliar with the show, here's an extract from http://www.screenonline.org.uk/tv/id/559951/

At Last The 1948 Show

There is a belief among many fans of Monty Python's Flying Circus (BBC, 1969-74) that the cult comedy series escaped fully formed from the minds of its writers untainted by convention or precedent. In fact the show that allegedly changed the face of TV comedy has a very clear genesis in which At Last the 1948 Show (ITV, 1967-68) looms large.

Written and performed by future Pythons Graham Chapman and John Cleese, Tim Brooke-Taylor, who later found fame in The Goodies (BBC/ITV, 1970-80), and Marty Feldman, the sketch-based series was often Monty Python in all but name - it even featured an early version of the 'Four Yorkshiremen' sketch that later became a staple of the Python stage show.

At Last the 1948 Show's sketches were often interspersed by short, unrelated sequences featuring 'the lovely' Aimi Macdonald, an idea later recycled in Monty Python's "And now for something completely different" links.

At Last the 1948 Show ran for two short series during 1967, totalling just 13 episodes.

Further information on 'At Last the 1948 Show' can be found at the following site:

http://orangecow.org/pythonet/1948show/1948matthewsharpguide.pdf

GOODIES NTSC DVD REVIEW

Well I finally got hold of the new NTSC DVD.

The DVD cover is red/blue and contains the same photo used in the BBC videotape (The Goodies dressed as mice with the huge kitten behind them).

The cover makes the claim that the episodes have been digitally remastered, which is accurate but rather misleading. This is a straight transfer of the BBC compilation tape 'kitten Kong'- the video has to be converted to mpeg2 and hence has to be digitally remastered. However, no attempt has been made to enhance the video, as was done with the UK 8 ep 2dvd set, so calling it remastered is a bit of a cheat (all your CD's of albums older than about '92 are 'digitally remastered' too).

The video transfer is ok, but the image looks a little blurry. There is also some color noise which the original tape had. I see no significant difference between this DVD and the BBC tape; I suspect this DVD was mastered from a pristine retail copy of the commercial tape rather than the original master.

The cover also mentions 'scene access' but there are no chapter points in the episodes at all.

The disk is single-sided/single layer (~4.3gb) NTSC with no region coding (region 0).

The menus are functional but very cheap looking- they look like they were created by someone with no artistic talent using a freeware art package.

Kitten Kong is already on the (real) remastered PAL DVD, but it is nice to see the unrestored version (in a weird sort of way). 'Scoutrageous' and 'Scatty Safari' are of course new to DVD.

All in all, a very amateurish disk that offers no more than the convenience of having the episodes on DVD. If you don't have the BBC tape, then the DVD is fine, but don't expect anything matching the UK PAL DVD.

(David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - August 24th)

Many thanks for the ever wonderful Zeta Minor site for the following information.

http://www.zetaminor.com/whatsnew.htm

Every episode (40 in all) of Bananaman is to be released as a 3 discs DVD set by Delta on 18th October.

Now Delta is usually a budget basement label so I don't think we can expect much in the way of extras which is a shame as I do remember the Goodies appearing on Blue Peter to promote the show.

It is already listed at the following retailers

<http://www.powerplaydirect.com/asp/itemdetails.asp?prodID=1135249&itemsec=dv> £10.99

<http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0002VF4QM/dvdpricecheck-21/202-7233771-0434244?dev-t=D2S4WYUWENHWNM%26camp=2025%26link_code=xm2> £11.24

<http://www.dvdpopcorn.com/DVDDetails.asp?ProductID=51686> £11.75

<http://www.dvdconcept.com/?page=shop/flypage&product_id=53637> £12.99

UK GOODIES PETITION

(by David Drury – Goodies-l – September 5th)

http://www.bringbackthegoodies.uk.tt

'The Goodies Rule OK' is the top recommended link.

A NOT SO SAVAGE GARDEN

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - September 6th)

I'm passing on the following note from Graeme Garden:

"On a non-Goodies matter, my son John is currently keyboard player with a group called the Scissor Sisters. The group, who originate from new York, are pretty hot in the UK just now, and are just about to play a US tour this month, before returning for a UK tour in October [sold out, including the Albert Hall!]and then hope to tour Australia in early 2005. Just though the fans might like to know...

All details are on their website: http://www.scissorsisters.com/main.php "

Fans in the US should note that the upcoming tour dates there are from September 7th through Sept. 20th.

4. 2001 AND A BIT

If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio & tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-L mailing list (more details available on the club website),as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.

* "The Way We Went Wild" with a segment on Bill Oddie will be repeated from 2:45-3:45am on Wednesday, 18 August on BBC 1. Please note that this is early Wed morning.

Three-part series looking at the careers of some of the UK's most famous and best-loved natural history television presenters, using interviews with family, friends and celebrity fans. This edition features Johnny Morris, long-time presenter of children's show Animal Magic, and ex-Goodie and noted twitcher Bill Oddie.

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - August 17th)

* Bill Oddie will appear in the Monday, 23rd August episode of "The Big Story", which will air at 20:30 on BBC 1.

Here's the listing: "Rolf Harris takes viewers on a journey looking back at 10 years of Animal Hospital. Vets and fans of the programme, including Fiona Bruce, Bill Oddie and Jennie Seagrove talk about how the series began and reveal their favourite stories."

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - August 17th)

* "Bill Oddie Goes Wild" repeats are being shown on UKTV Documentary and UKTV Documentary Plus 1 at various times throughout the day between Wed, Aug 18th and Tues, Aug 24th.

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - August 17th)

* An upcoming episode of the nature show "Natural World" will be narrated by Bill Oddie. The episode will air on RTE Network 2 on Thursday 16th September from 20:00 to 21:00.

"The Eagle Has Landed.

Documentary narrated by Bill Oddie about the successes of a few dedicated people in bringing ospreys, red kites and sea eagles back from the brink of extinction."

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - August 17th)

* Just spotted at on Amazon.co.uk - "Bill Oddie's How to Watch Wildlife", to be published 7 March 2005.

Here's an extract from the book's description:

A tie-in to the TV series, offering practical advice to beginners wanting to learn more about wildlife. Bill Oddie's 'How to Watch Wildlife' is a practical beginner's guide to enjoying the wildlife of Britain. Organised into a calendar of months, Bill tells you the best places to visit, how to catch a glimpse of our best-loved species, and things you can do for each month of the year...Written in Bill's endearingly frank and witty style, this is an inspiring and refreshingly straightforward approach to watching wildlife. There are suggestions for places to visit within reach of wherever you live in Britain, and advice on watching wildlife with children...[plus] advice on basic equipment and field craft, as well as [explanations of] how to make the most of your encounters with animals."

TIM & GRAEME SPOTTINGS

* "Golf Clubs with Tim Brooke-Taylor" is being repeated on Discovery Home &

Leisure and Discovery Home & Leisure Plus 1 through at least 28th Aug.

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - August 17th)

* Graeme's 2002 appearance on "Have I Got News For You" is being repeated on UKTV G2 at 21:40 on Wednesday 1st September and again at 00:10 on Thursday 2nd September. Please note that each episode is being shown in a 40 minute timeslot.

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - August 30th)

I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) &

I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)

* Dear I¹m Sorry I Haven¹t A Clue emailing list member,

We write at last with details of the final recording dates in the

forthcoming series of I'm Sorry I Haven¹t A Clue¹.

We will be recording the show at the following final two venues:

On Saturday 23rd October we¹ll be at the New Theatre in Hull. The ticket prices are £10, £8.50 and £6.50. The show starts at 7.30pm (Doors open 7pm). The box office is open from Monday to Saturday from 10am to 5pm. Thebox office number is 01482 226655.

On Tuesday 7th December we¹ll be at the Assembly Hall Theatre in Tunbridge Wells. The ticket prices are £12.50 and £10. The show starts at 7.30pm and the doors open at 6.45pm. The box office is open Monday to Saturday from 10am, however, if you wanted to book over the weekend, tickets can be booked on-line from 8am tomorrow (4th September) by logging on to the theatre's website at www.assemblyhalltheatre.co.uk , and clicking at the bottom of the page where it says TO BOOK ONLINE, CLICK HERE. Then find I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue in their list of shows. Alternatively you can try waiting till Monday and phoning the theatre box office direct on 01892 530613, but you do risk the tickets having sold out over the weekend.

We cannot stress enough the importance of booking early as the show is extremely popular.

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - September 4th

* "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Christmas Clue" is still scheduled to be released on CD and cassette on 4 October. The vendors' description of the set has finally been updated - it will include the 2003 Christmas special (telling the story of Ebenezer Scrumph and his poor assistant Crotchet with the help of the regular guests Jeremy Hardy, Sandi Toksvig, Tony Hawks, Andy Hamilton, Linda Smith, and Stephen Fry) as well as "the best of past Christmas moments from the show."

Choices Direct's site shows the cover

(http://www.choicesdirect.com/searchresult.asp?SearchText=i%27m+sorry+i+haven%27t+a+christmas+clue&PageMenuGuid=1&SearchField=ProductName ), which uses the publicity photo that appeared in Radio Times last December. In the photo Barry Cryer, Humphrey Lyttelton, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor, and pianist Colin Sell wear Christmas Carol style stocking caps and scarves. This marks Colin's first appearance on the cover of a Clue set.

The Christmas Clue set will be available from Amazon.co.uk, the BBC Shop, and other vendors who stock BBC Audio titles.

(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - September 9th

5. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY

First screened: 11th February 1980

'Brooke-Taylor's Beast Boutique' has a charming window display of snakes and rabbits (fortunately not in the same window!) and several dozen bottles of milk have been delivered to the doorstep for the array of animals inside. Tim spies an old lady feeding the pigeons in the nearby park, but is horrified when she pulls a gun from her purse and pots a pigeon from close range and upon tackling her, he discovers that it is just Bill in disguise, who is desperate for a feed.

Tim drags Bill inside his shop and pleads for the phone to ring with a job offer for his animal artistes (while a starving Bill upsets them by raving on about the culinary delights of "dead pig" and "dead baa lamb"!) and eventually there is a knock on the door. Graeme enters as Captain Grayboots - Fearless Lion Tamer and requires some help with his new circus act, which just lacks that certain something - lions! Tim is right out of lions and other big ferocious cats (so he tries to stir up a bowl of shebunkins without much success!) and he is also not keen on his animals going to the circus because they might be treated cruelly, especially by Graeme!

Tim attempts to prove that kindness is the best method to train animals with, but when he returns to his shop, he finds that Graeme and Bill have put all of his animals to work performing various energy-saving domestic duties after some rather cruel training. Tim's animals have also been requisitioned by the government for a demonstration by the Department Of Energy of the world's first animal-driven power station. Graeme figures that animals have had it cushy for far too long and should be made to do "a fair day's work for a fair day's bowl of whale meat and slops", but Tim sees this as blatant exploitation and is determined to stand up for his animal's rights.

The 'Not The News At Ten' bulletin reports on wild celebrations at the Battersea Dogs Station now that laws have been passed which give animals equal status with people and make it illegal to discriminate against animals in any way. Bill takes animal equality to heart (as he sits on the cat, tells the dog to fetch his supper and shapes up to spray on Tim's throne!), but soon settles down to watch a new television wildlife spectacular for animals set in the Galapagos Islands (and hosted by Graeme as an appropriately weird David Rabbitborough!), which features the lifestyles of wildlife presenters such as Jacques Cousteau, Patrick Moore and the notoriously destructive David Bellamy.

Graeme sits back, watches all of this (complete with nose bulb up his snozzle!) and wonders whether presenters (and people in general) should be used as a foodsource like other animals ("Cousteau and chips ... or Kentucky Fried Bellamy!"); a view initially supported by Tim until Bill threatens to kill and eat him and he then declares that the next step in animal equality will be worldwide compulsory vegetarianism. Carnivore Bill is dismayed by this and vows to stand up for his carrots in a show of vegetable power. Graeme and Tim are worried that Bill is going to do something that they will regret and their search for him soon ends, with his appearance on their tv screen as a guest of the Rabid Frost Show.

Rabid (a black labrador dog) hosts Bill as a representative of the Freedom Of Vegetables League and a rabbit as the leader of the Animal Revolutionary Party and after Bill has already upset animal members of the studio audience by thanking Rabid for the opportunity of "eating your guest ... er, meeting your guest, sorry, sorry!", he explains that he sees the whole country as "one great big melting pot" (and produces a large pot) with various vegies in high places (including a security leek!) and plenty of room for the animal leader as well. Graeme and Tim watch this unfold on a monitor in another studio and are horrified when Bill heartily scoffs his rabbit stew, which sets off an angry attack from the dogs and other animals present.

The Goodies and the wildlife presenters flee into the costume department as the doors are being clawed apart by furious animals and their only avenue of escape is to dress up as rabbits, assume slow silly voices and hope that the animals won't harm their own kind. The rabbits "must get away from this terrible place" or they will be captured and killed, so they escape through a trapdoor and a series of burrows with Moore in the lead as he can see in the dark and Bellamy at the rear who continually lags behind ripping up plants (including a large tree root which almost causes a cave-in). They hop along on the night horizon and try to keep quiet so that the animals won't hear them (although this is difficult with Bellamy noisily destroying everything!) and cross a busy road before curling up to sleep.

When they wake, they all go in search of Bellamy, who has found a beautiful flower to destroy, but a heap of camera lenses jutting out of a grassy bank form a deadly trap and blast the rabbits with artillery fire. From the crumpled skins on the ground, numerous fresh white rabbits emerge and a cartoon rabbit which jumps against a painted sunrise is also popped with a gunshot. This is followed by an announcement from a white labrador that this episode was the last in the series and that there will be a brand new show next week - The Doggies (with three small dogs sitting on the trandem including a poodle in a Union Jack waistcoat!)

* Tim (trying to encourage his animal artistes): "Today's warthog could be tomorrow's Oliver Reed!"

* Captain Grayboots (about his lion taming act): "Great, I've got all the stuff ... whips, chairs, the lot! But it still lacks that certain something."

* Tim's animal training placard: "Kindness costs nothing."

Graeme's placard in reply: "Cruelty is more fun."

* Tim (after Bill and Graeme have taken his animals away): "Oh, how could they?! My poor dumb furry little friend. And the one with glasses!"

* Tim (the animal rights protester addressing a flock of sheep): "Don't let them pull the wool over your eyes brothers. All they want is sheep labour!"

* Newsreader: "But the most dramatic protest came at Epsom where a horse threw itself under the Queen's corgi ..."

* Presenters (in suitably soft, silly voices):

"Bell-amy ... Bell-amy!"

* Tim trying to prove to Graeme that he can train animals with kindness, with Terrance the tap dancing dog sitting motionless while Tim groovily shows him what he should be doing, his bike-riding budgie coming an instant cropper on the floor and his tumbling Patagonian nosebulb merely crawling up Graeme's nostril. Also the following sequence with Terrance again sitting still while Tim is grinding away on an organ, with Tim then dancing while the dog operates the organ handle (and finally coming very close to belting Terrance in frustration afterwards!)

* Graeme and Bill putting Tim's animals to good use in energy production for domestic chores, including Dynamouse running on a treadmill generator, a three toed sloth making an excellent peg bag with crabs used as pegs, an octopus churning away in the sink as a dishwasher, a python as a vacuum hose, Henrietta Hedgehog with a conveniently placed stick making her a more than handy loo brush and a poodle as a floor mop, as well as another dog which walks along a treadmill into the oven, turning on the buttons along the way to produce an 'instant hot dog"!

* Reginald Bowes And Cat's report for 'Not The News At Ten' on animal equality, with him removing his Peruvian Gerbil-like hairpiece (which has a drink of milk and multiplies like crazy during the report), presenting a very nifty visual trick where icons of a barrel, flames, an excavating wheel and a mushroom cloud (representing Britain's former energy sources of oil, gas, coal and nuclear power respectively) are put together to form a sheep representing Britain's new reliance on animal power, the footage of a parrot operating a phone switchboard and a column of protesting worker ants being escorted by police, Tim's baaa-d pun-ridden speech to a rally of sheep and the display of various animal presenters at the finish, with Reginald also sporting a Patagonian nose bulb for good measure.

* Bill's rant about giving animals equality, with him sitting on the cat because it sits on him (then throwing it off the sofa in disgust afterwards), putting a chef's hat on a motionless mutt and telling it to prepare his supper because he fed it earlier (then howling like a dog because he's hungry and threatening to report Graeme to the "RSPC Bill" after the suggestion that he should have his whiskers pulled out!) and finally declaring that he is on heat and pretending to piddle on Tim's throne (with Tim threatening to doctor him with a huge set of scissors!)

* Graeme as a suitably silly-voiced David Rabbitborough compering a documentary from the Galapagos Archipelago on fellow wildlife presenters, with remarkable footage of the Marine Cousteau sunning itself on a rocky ledge before diving back in the water and a difficult walk through the dense jungle of lighting cables revealing the Millers rummaging through bins with their long, pencil-like fingers, a nocturnal owl-like Patrick Moore peering through his telescope and finally the incredibly destructive Bellamy, who can lay towering rainforest to broken waste in just a few short minutes.

* Tim finding it reasonable that people should be eaten just like animals are, and even allowing a ravenous Bill to clamp a bread roll on his right hand before having second thoughts, saying "On the other hand ..." (with Bill remarking "Suit yourself!" and putting the roll on Tim's left hand instead!), then declaring "Actually, I don't think we should eat any living thing." with Bill responding as quick as a flash by pulling a gun and saying "Okay, I'll kill!", in turn forcing a hasty "No, no, no, no ...!" from Tim!

* The Rabid Frost program (hosted by a black Labrador dog) on which Bill (representing the Freedom Of Vegetables League) firstly looks forward to eating ... er, meeting his fellow guest (a rabbit representing the Animal Revolutionary Party) and then does the former by pretending that Britain is a melting pot (of rabbit stew!), much to the anger of the other animals present. Also the following scenes with the Goodies and the other presenters donning rabbit costumes and escaping before "something awful" happens, with Bellamy causing continual problems by disappearing to destroy various plants along the way, Patrick Moore going ballistic when an owl swipes his telescope, Tim being flattened by a car on a busy expressway and the bevy of camera lenses blasting the bunnies as they stop to admire a beautiful flower, with baby rabbits emerging from the wrinkled skins afterwards, all backed with the moving sound of 'Bright Eyes'.

Mel Smith, Patrick Moore, Ronnie Storm,

The ABC network always used this episode as the final one in each run of repeats (in reverse order with 'War Babies', probably because of the final scene with 'The Doggies') and with me not having an episode guide or knowing about the LWT series at the time, the killing sequence to the haunting sounds of 'Bright Eyes' always seemed like such a cruel and sad ending to a great comedy show. However now that I know that they made further episodes afterwards, the ending seems a bit less brutal and in fact, the episode contains a very amusing look at animal rights and exploitation, with the section on wildlife presenters being a cleverly funny sendup as well.

IIII Officially Amazing

BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM:

IIII - Officially amazing.

III - Goody goody yum yum.

II - Fair-y punkmother.

I - Tripe on t' pikelets.

October Episode Summary –

6. GOODIES COR COMICS SYNOPSIS #33

18th August, 1973 No. 56

Another classic comedy situation this month takes the Goodies from Cortown all the way to the South Seas when a vacation takes a bizarre turn and, a la The Lost Tribe, two of the Goodies find themselves cooking in a very politically incorrect native's pot (only Roy Kinnear does not put in a guest appearance this time).

Header: KEEP A "SHARK" LOOKOUT FOR FUN THE GOODIES ARE IN THE SOUTH SEAS!

The Goodies are outside their office, preparing to go on vacation. Tim and Graeme are dressed in light beach wear, t-shirts and shorts, while Bill is sporting a hat (and looking very put out because all of the luggage is strapped to his back). Graeme is locking the office door as Tim and Bill wait in their respective places on the trandem.

TIM: Good idea of yours for us to go to the seaside for a rest, Graeme! We'll find a nice quiet spot.

GRAEME: Leave the locking up to me - I've seen to everything else!

The Goodies arrive at the very littered beach just as rain begins to fall. Bill gets off the trandem and approaches the water where he spots a bottle floating just offshore.

GRAEME: *Bah!* No wonder this place is quiet - it's *raining!* Still, we'll be left in peace for a change!

BILL: Don't be too sure! Look - that bottle's got a message in it ... !

The Goodies inspect the message in the bottle (oblivious to the man struggling with an overturned sailboat in the distance). Bill is reading the message, but has his thumb over one pivotal letter.

MESSAGE: To the Goodies, England. Marooned in South Sea (Bill's thumb). HELP!

BILL: Coo, it's from a bloke marooned in Southsea!

GRAEME: You can't be marooned in Southsea! - Let me look .. !

Graeme looks at the message, then points out Bill's mistake as Tim gets busy inflating one of the tires from the trandem so that it's the size of a large raft.

GRAEME: Clot! It says the "South Seas"! That's thousands of miles away!

TIM: Never mind! Remember The Goodies' motto - We do anything anytime!

The Goodies find themselves at sea on the makeshift tire raft, heading toward the South Seas (a small pointer flag stuck into the cork of a floating bottle points out the way . . . "This Way for the Marooned Mariner." Tim studies a map as Graeme looks through a spyglass and Bill paddles with a tennis racket.

TIM: Looks like we're on the right track, lads!

BILL: At least it'll be sunny in the South Seas .. !

The Goodies find themselves surrounded by tiny islands (one with a volcano, another with a huge skyscraper and a sign reading Private). Sharks are surrounding their raft.

GRAEME: *Yikes!* There must be hundreds of islands! It'll be like looking for a *needle* in a haystack!

TIM: Well, in that case .. !

Tim, who had been studying the map, uses a pin to pick out an island. Of course the pin goes through the map and punctures the tire raft.

TIM: .. I'll pick one out with a *pin!*

GRAEME: Oh, no! What've you done .. ?

The tire raft goes flying, propelled by the air coming out of the pinhole, taking Tim and Graeme with it. Bill is left floundering with the sharks (one of whom chomps away on Graeme's spyglass).

BILL: HELP! GOODIE OVERBOARD!

Tim and Graeme fly all the way to one of the islands and land with a splash in the giant kettle of a group of natives. In the pot already is the lost mariner who had sent the message in the bottle.