» #50 Feb 2000
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
Issue No. 50 12th February 2000
'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 325
Chadstone VIC 3148, AUSTRALIA
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
- Alison Bean
- Brett Allender
- David Balston
- Catherine Sumnall
Steve Gerlach, Lisa Manekofsky and Leigh Stewart.
1. INTRODUCTION - Our 50th edition.
2. BOFFO IDEAS - Club happenings and ideas.
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
4. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW - Funky Gibbon.
5. THE END - Royal Songbook.
A 50TH EDITION POEM
by Brett Allender
In 1995 and a bit, in fact late November
The first C&G went out to 23 members
From this humble start rose a great tradition
Some 1300 fans will read this edition
The whole thing was started by Alison Bean
Now the undisputed Goodies fandom queen
With help from fellow fans along the way
She's made the C&G what it is today
Now we've reached a milestone that's pretty nifty
So let's celebrate this C&G number fifty
With a look back at what's been making news
Over which us Goodies fans can all enthuse
What to name our club was the first issue raised
Super Chaps, Eckythumps...no, Goodies Rule OK
Club t-shirts took a while, but were worth the wait
The re-screening petition though is still up to fate
There's been book reviews and special features
The Judith Lucy saga - what a charming creature!
ABC censorship articles made excellent reading
David's trivia quiz was tricky and teasing
Our super spotters have been on the job
Reporting on Goodies wherever they lob
Be it panto reviews or Tim in Oman
Or Bill playing a vacuum cleaner as part of a band
News on ISIHAC, ISIRTA and other shows as well
The welcome rebirth of good old Goodies-L
All the great bargains from your local GROK Shop
But one special feature was impossible to top
When Tim e-mailed our club, it caused great elation
To hear from a Goodie was quite a sensation
He answered our queries in a fun interview
Then it was brilliant to hear from Graeme too
The C&G continues to bring you Goodie news
Episode summaries and music reviews
All the latest about the convention
The webpages and other stuff well worth a mention
Our half century's up, but we're not stopping yet
There's a very good reason, so don't you forget
The Goodies may be over, but the Baddies abound
You'll see them and hear them if you look around
Rolf's still on the telly after all these years
Maxie's churning out records that bore us to tears
Flashbacks of the Osmonds, erk there's Nicholas Parsons
Keep the C&G's going...we've just got to outlast 'em!
A FEW WORDS
by Alison Bean
If this is your first C&G you're probably wondering what on earth Brett's talking about! Well they were just some of the highlights from the first 49 editions of the C&G. You can download them all from http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/cg.html if you want to find out more, but for now....welcome to the 50th edition of the C&G!
Fifty issues? Blimey! What was I thinking when I started this thing four and a bit years ago?! I can't remember, but it would never have occurred to me that we'd be heading for 1500 members right now. Nor would it have occurred to me just how many good friends I'd make through this website and newsletter. But that's the great thing about the internet, it's such a great way to find cool people with similar interests. Proof of this is that two American fans met through this website and are now married.
So while we're having a round of celebratory black puddings (followed by a slightly less celebratory round of throwing up!) I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all our readers for their continued support and the entire team behind the C&G and the website for making it all possible. There are many of you and it would take an entire C&G to thank you properly but I will single out Brett Allender, my officially amazing right hand man. Brett, thank you for your constant enthusiasm and encouragement and for everything you have done for the club (and me) over the past couple of years - I'd give you an O.B.E. if I could!
Well, we've run some great articles about The Goodies and related topics over the past four and a bit years and from the feedback we've had from you the reader we know you like it. And there's much more to come; in the long term we'll be expanding and improving the website and working hard to get The Goodies back on free-to-air TV around the world, particularly in Britain and Australia. And in the short term there's Kitten Kon, the world's first Goodies convention to be held in Melbourne this Easter. Check out http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/convent.html for more details.
But now, let's get on with the C&G and here's wishing for 50 more issues and another 50 after that!
2. BOFFO IDEAS
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail email@example.com with your comments, ideas or suggestions.
KITTEN KON - THE GOODIES CONVENTION
If you'd rather get your Easter eggs from a Bellamy than an Easter Bunny, you'd better head down to Melbourne, Australia this Easter for Kitten Kon, the world's first Goodies Convention. Tim Brooke-Taylor will be our special guest for this once in a lifetime event, with Graeme Garden making an "almost live" appearance.
At Kitten Kon you can:
* Ask Tim those burning Goodies questions.
* Watch the cream of the Goodies episodes in the video room.
* Dance the night away at "Disco Billius".
* Test your knowledge against other fans at the quiz night.
* Bid for rare Goodies and cult TV stuff at our charity auction.
* Browse the stalls in the dealer's room.
* Find out what "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" is really like.
* See rare archival footage from "Top of The Pops", "If I Ruled The World" and other shows.
* Feel good because you're supporting the Royal Children's Hospital, Melbourne.
* Have a laugh and much, much more!
Tickets are available right now for just $100 for two and a half days (Friday 21st to Sunday 23rd April) of Good-good-Goodies fun. And it's a good idea to book now because only pre-booked ticket holders will...
* Be able to attend Friday night's activities - the quiz night and the first part of the video screenings.
* Have the first chance to buy from the dealer's room, which will contain Goodies memorabilia, some of it very hard to get hold of and when that's gone, it's gone!
* Receive a special mystery bonus.
* Save money, as tickets at the door will cost more.
So will you be at Kitten Kon? If so, please send $100 to:
The Goodies Rule - OK!
P.O. Box 325
Chadstone VIC 3148
And PLEASE make all cheques or money orders out to "The Goodies Rule - OK!" as if you don't we'll have to send it back to you.
All questions regarding Kitten Kon should be addressed to Tracey Baird, firstname.lastname@example.org.
And congratulations to Mark Hendriks from Strathmore, Victoria and Ben Tumney from Sandy Bay, Tasmania who booked for Kitten Kon before 20th January 2000 and have won a Goodies video cover signed by Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden.
Back in about 1978 Cadbury's thought of a nice bit of cross promotion - The Goodies Fun Book - which could be obtained if you stuffed yourself with Cadbury's chocolate bars and sent them the wrappers. These days The Goodies Fun Book is a very rare item, but you can see what it looks like by heading to http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/gfb.html .
NEW CLUB E-MAIL
You can now direct all your enquiries about The Goodies Rule - OK! to our new club e-mail address email@example.com. All Kitten Kon enquiries should still be directed to Tracey Baird at firstname.lastname@example.org, however.
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen a Goodie recently, e-mail email@example.com with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
THE GOODIES ON UK TV
by Steve Gerlach.
The UK TV channel on Foxtel and Austar (Australian cable TV networks) finished its run of The Goodies a month or so ago. However many fans were confused when UK TV did not screen "Earthanasia" and then played "War Babies!" twice. According to UK TV "Earthanasia" was not supplied to them
by distributor of series, they are looking into it and hope to have a copy for the next transmission of the series (though they don't know when that will be).
BIRDING WITH BILL ODDIE RETURNS
Here is a bit from the Radio Times magazine and internet site regarding the return of "Birding with Bill Oddie":
Birding with Bill Oddie
Friday 18 February 20:00 to 20:30
A six-part series on bird-watching - how to find, watch and identify birds. Bill Oddie visits the Mediterranean island of Mallorca, one of the best places in Europe to witness the miracle of spring migration.
And from the Radio Times Choice of the day:
Bill Oddie's top bird-watching tip is to keep looking up. Not in order to avoid bird droppings on the head, but so as not to miss out on some ornithological treat. For the first of this new series he is in Majorca during the sprig, where a chance glance skywards results in the sighting of "a pack" of Eleneonora's falcons that are wheeling around among the gulls. In coming weeks Oddie will be in Wales, Poland, the Netherlands, the eastern USA and Israel. He has a very jolly and non-academic attitude towards his subject you'll either love or hate. Of course, the big advantage of programmes like this is that viewers are guaranteed to see lots of interesting birds without having to wait around too long.
GOODIES REPEATS ON THE BBC? I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT!
by Catherine Sumnall.
Bill Oddie was heard on Ian Payne's radio five-live show recently, covertly disguising his genuine intentions with the transparent premise of plugging "Birding..."'s third series. Well, maybe this isn't entirely accurate, but he did atone for past omissions in saying:
BO: ...the new series starts in two week's time, so I'm told, and if they haven't managed to put on motor-cross or something.
IP: Repeats of the Goodies?
BO: Oh, I wouldn't mind that.
IP: Do you still get repeat fees for that?
BO: No because they don't repeat them. The BBC has never repeated the
Goodies, not properly, no.
IP: Oh, just a clip of the giant goose egg falling out of the sky?
BO: They do that kind of thing occasionally, and it's put on some obscure digital channel where they don't have to pay you anything.
BO: Yeah exactly. "UK Who's watching this channel?". Answer: nobody. I've come here to have a good grumble really!
BILL'S NEW BOOK
I'M SORRY WE DIDN'T MAKE IT TO NUMBER ONE
by David Balston
This letter appeared in the Radio Times 8-14th January.
Why is it that Sir Cliff made it to number one with his first attempt at singing 'One tune to the tune of another' while the panellists of "I'm Sorry I haven't A Clue" have been trying for years to achieve a like effect? Was he just lucky? Can the script writers sue for breach of copyright.
WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
by Lisa Manekofsky.
According to Comedy Central's website (http://www.comedycentral.com/ ), that cable channel is going to be showing the episode of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" with Graeme Garden on February 15th & 16th. Here is the specific information (I assume the times listed are Eastern Standard Time):
Whose Line Is It Anyway? (ep# 0106)
Tuesday, Feb 15 3:00PM
Comedy Improvisation: Graeme Garden, George McGrath, Jan Ravens.
by David Balston.
"Says Who?" is the brand new BBC radio comedy impressions show that sees Graeme Garden put the great and the good on the spot. Come and see Tony Blair, William Hague, David Beckham, Chris Eubank and many others from the worlds of politics, sport and entertainment, discussing the key issues of the day with the help of Terry Alderton and friends. "Says Who?" was recorded on Thursday the 10th of February - more details as they come to hand.
KUNG FU FIGHTING
by Leigh Stewart.
Albeit briefly, our good friends were on UK's Channel 4, Saturday January 15th (around 10:00pm) showing of a program hosted by comic / presenter Phil Jupitus, "Top 10 One Hit Wonders". The No.1 One Hit Wonder was "Kung-Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas, and as part of the intro to the background of the song, some brief frames of the Eckythump episode (with Graeme reading a Kung Fu book as he is about to take on Tim) were shown - an illustration of the fact that at the time of the song, 'everybody was Kung-Fu fighting'.
Recently articles have appeared in the media that The Goodies' trandem had been found in a junkyard in the East End of London by a man from Essex, who was now restoring it. While a man from Essex did find a red trandem in an East End junkyard and is now restoring it, it is not The Goodies' trandem.
The Goodies' trandem was bought in 1983 at a BBC props auction by Hugo Spowers, whose brother Rory and three friends rode it through Africa for charity in 1989. A book about their journey, "Three Men On A Bike", was released in 1995 (complete with a foreword by Bill Oddie) and is available from http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/bookshop.html . And it's not the blue trandem from the London Weekend Television series either, because that is now owned by Nick Mason from Pink Floyd.
We can only assume that Dr Petal has finally resurfaced and has been manufacturing fake trandems as part of some evil Goodies 30th anniversary scheme.
4. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to this month's music review.
Your festive season DJ Arthur Nasia was having a swinging time on Christmas Eve until he glanced at his watch and realised that with only 17 short minutes before the world was due to end, he had better things to do with his time than writing music reviews. Unfortunately Jane Fonda was already taken by Bill (who had licked all of the chocolate off the Mars Bars before leaving too) and Tim was getting expert belly button phobia counselling from Graeme, so poor Arthur was at a bit of a loose end until Lady Constance de Coverlet volunteered her services. It's rumoured that a struggle then ensued between Graeme (who was trying to put the clock forward half a minute) and Arthur (who was trying to turn it forward 17 minutes instead!), but as no-one survived the big bang to confirm or deny anything, we'll cross over to our Saturn studios and our "do do do the funky gibbon"-ing DJ Sir Johnathan Unappealling (AKA Brett Allender) with his review of The Goodies' biggest hit, "FUNKY GIBBON".
On the 1997 CD "Yum Yum - The Very Best Of The Goodies", as a single (with "Sick Man Blues" on the flip side), in the "Goodies - Almost Live" concert episode and on the 70's albums "The New Goodies LP", "The Goodies Greatest", "Best Of The Goodies" and "The Goodies Greatest Hits".
They're the Goodies, how do you do. They've just been down to the zoo. And this time instead of demonstrating their Lone Scouting skills by tying knots in elephant's trunks and giraffe's necks, they went straight to the primate enclosure and were captivated by a monkey which was doing a dance that would catapault them to the dizzy heights of 'Top Of The Pops'. All that they needed to do was drop one arm down by their knees and let the other arm reach up to the trees while adding in some nifty guitar and vocals, and Bill's exhortation of "C'mon everybody, it's gibbon time!" was taken up by an entire nation no doubt rather bored with doing the Bounce, or other tired old dances like the slimy toad, festering ferret and disgusting three toed sloth!
Why indeed?! What on earth possessed three grown men to appear on national television in coloured overalls with the big 'G' on the front, urging a studio audience of equally crazily dressed people to "Give me an OOO!" while leaping around the stage acting like a bunch of raving nutters? It might be a good question to pop to Tim at the convention, but despite all three being certainties to pass Dr. Garden's Loony Test with flying colours on that particular occasion, there's no doubting that gibbon half a chance at Kitten Kon, we'll all be up there on stage dancing just like that monkey, and getting a little funky because it's a top tune to bop along to. So let's tie that yellow gibbon round the old oak tree before it ceases to be funky and we have to stuff it to the tune of the Goodies' other funky gibbon song instead!
Using the black pudding rating system:
MUSIC: IIII Officially Amazing
SINGING/LYRICS: IIII Officially Amazing
HUMOUR: II 1/2 Fair-y Goodymother
ALL TOGETHER NOW: III 1/2 Amazingly Goodie
THE BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM
IIIII - Superstar.
IIII - Officially amazing.
III - Goody goody yum yum.
II - Fair-y punkmother.
I - Tripe on t' pikelets.
** The next music review will be in the April edition. Next month's C&G will feature an episode summary of Special #1 "Montreux Show (Kitten Kong)". **
7. THE END
As always in The End, we like to end with a round from "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" the improvised comedy panel show staring Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden and chaired by Humphrey Lyttleton, with Colin Sell at the piano and the lovely Samantha and Sven taking down the points. "ISIHAC" has been going for more than 30 series and is an icon of British radio comedy and a number of books and audio cassettes from the series are available from http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/shop.html .
But now, let's rip into this month's ISIHAC round - "ROYAL'S SONGBOOK", where the panelists had to name songs likely to appeal to the Royal family. The round featured guest panelist Fred MacAulay and was played after scorer Sven nipped off to the palace to take some snaps of a guardsman in his bearskin...and later tried to get his favourite prince enlarged!
Fred: "Anything by Queen."
Tim: "Were you thinking of We Are The Champion?"
Graeme: "Send In The Crowns."
Fred: "One for Prince Philip - Greek Balls Of Fire."
Tim: "Sophie Rhys-Jones - Some Day My Prince Will Come!"
Barry: "I Talk To The Trees by the artist formerly known as Prince."
Graeme: "And his other big hit - Holding Back The Ears!"
Tim: "I've Had My Phil On Blueberry Hill."
Fred: "Fergie Cross The Mersey"
Graeme: "Balmoral, Balmoral, I Love Ya."
Tim: "The Funky Coronation Chicken."
Barry: "You'll Never Need A Loan."
Tim: "Corgi and Bess."
(and not forgetting "The Windsor Takes It All!" - Deputy Ed)
Humph: "Well ladies and gentlemen, as the grubby raincoat of time opens to reveal the member of parliament and the categorical denial of destiny is swiftly followed by the resignation letter of fate..."
Team C&G: "...and while the Prime Minister of stupidity slaps a goods and services tax on the feminine hygiene product of necessity and the C&G editor of idealism stops being political and cuts the virtual cake of 50th C&G celebration, it's goodbye!"
This is an archive newsletter of The Goodies Rule - OK! International Fan Club (copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2000). Some of the information in this newsletter may now be incorrect. Current information can be obtained from http://www.goodiesruleok.com