|
**********************************************
* THE GOODIES FAN CLUB CLARION AND GLOBE *
**********************************************
* THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK!' *
Issue No. 104 12th July 2004
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
******************************
EDITOR
- Brett Allender .
ACE REPORTERS:
- Lisa Manekofsky
- David Piper-Balston
- Alison Bean
COOL COR COMIC REVIEWER:
- Linda Kay
FAB FEATURE ARTICLE CONTRIBUTOR:
- Marilyn Burge
C&G CONTRIBUTORS: Adrian Hudson, Mark Longmuir
CONTENTS
********
1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS - News and club happenings.
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
5. FEATURE ARTICLE - Bill Oddie - I'm Wild About My Life
6. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY - A Kick In The Arts
7. GOODIES COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #31
8. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
***************
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
QUOTE: "So tomorrow night when the owls do hoot and the moon is full
we must journey to the abode of the living dead."
(a) Which Goodie says this quote?
(b) What was Bill's response to it?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "Cecily"
(d) What does Bill use as a mixer for the pie that he is trying to
cook?
(e) Which "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" character does Tim's
"female nanny" voice sound like?
(f) Which Goodies song is used as background music while they are
doing the housekeeping chores?
(g) What happens to the rooster after it crows to signal morning?
(h) Which card game are the Goodies playing while all sorts of spooky
things happen around them?
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
2. BOFFO IDEAS
**************
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for
bob-a-job week. E-mail with your
comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas
which our club has been working on this month:
TODAY THE INTERNET, TOMORROW THE WORLD ...
==========================================
(by Lisa Manekofsky)
Last month was a particularly active one at the club's website
(http://www.goodiesruleok.com). You might be interested to learn that
the site had over 17,000 visitors from more than 70 countries in June
2004.
The countries from which we had the most visitors (starting with the
highest number and counting down) were the United States, Australia,
the United Kingdom, New Zealand, Canada, Japan, the Netherlands,
France, Belgium, Germany, Poland, Brazil, Ireland, Italy, Singapore,
Portugal, Austria, Norway, Denmark, Switzerland, Hungary, Czech
Republic, Sri Lanka, and South Africa.
BIRTHDAY BOYS
=============
Our best birthday wishes go out to Bill Oddie, who turned 63 on July
7th, and Tim Brooke-Taylor who celebrates his 64th birthday on July
17th.
NEW BODS REQUIRED FOR C&G PATROL
================================
(by Brett Allender)
Here at the C&G office, we're not exactly "knackered" like an ageing
TBT in '2001 And A Bit' or even a little "old and raddled" like all
three Goodies in 'Change Of Life' ... However if you regularly cast
an eye at the list of the C&G lads and lasses each month, you'd be
forgiven for exclaiming "Lads?! Job lot for the undertakers!" because
every single month the same handful of familiar old names are up there
with very little company.
Well although we're all happy to keep contributing as much as we can,
we're going on a boffo recruitment drive during this bob-a-job
campaign and actively seeking some new bods to join our
Goodies-spotting patrol. You don't even have to wear a silly hat or
shamelessly flaunt your knobbly knees in public ... "phew", I hear you
say!
All that we require of our new bods is an occasional contribution of
something related to The Goodies, or the individual projects of Bill,
Tim and Graeme if you prefer. Excellent examples from this edition
include Lisa's compilation of Goodies DVD information and Marilyn's
contribution of an article about Bill's latest wildlife show (sadly
not the kind of wild life that he was all excited about in the 'Gender
Education' episode!), but there are lots of other things to set the
C&G cold showers off like your thoughts on your favourite (or least
favourite) Goodies episode, extracts from one of the Goodies books,
funniest quotes from 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue', Goodies puzzles,
fanfic or whatever.
We're even willing to bribe, er encourage, you to contribute by giving
you the chance to earn our collection of scouting proficiency badges.
There are more than a dozen in the set and they're jolly hard to win;
in fact no-one in our C&G patrol has ever won one (soppy lot that we
are!) However each contribution published in the C&G from next month
onwards will win its sender a badge (well, a scanned copy that you can
print out for yourself at least) so if that's not enough to get you
sneaking out of the house in a mack with a garbage bag over your hat -
or at least sneaking a contribution off to the C&G occasionally - then
I'm off to join the Salvation Army and go after the Lone Scout (plus
one!) all by myself. Come and join us, come and join us ...!
3. SPOTTED!!!
*************
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the
Goodies recently, e-mail with the details.
Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
GOODIES DVD DISCOUNTED
======================
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 15th June)
Amazon.co.uk is running a sale in which "The Goodies - At Last!" DVD
is 60% off. The sale price is £9.97 (while the regular price is
£24.99). Here's a link to the item:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00008MJ0W/ref=pd_ecc_rvi_2/2
02-0494310-2014229
(This price is still current as of July 8th - Ed.)
DVD GOODIES ... BOOM!
=====================
(by Lisa Manekofsky)
The club has a lot of new members, many of whom are asking about new
Goodies DVDs. We thought it'd be helpful to summarize the information
we know at this point.
* UK/Australian DVDs:
---------------------
Last year a British company called Network video released an 8-episode
DVD entitled "The Goodies - At Last!" (which is PAL, Region 0).
Network did a wonderful job of restoring the episodes and including
bonus features; they were rewarded with excellent sales. This lead to
Network announcing that they planned to release two more sets of 8
episodes each.
The last we heard, Network tentatively planned to release Volume 2 in
September/October 2004. They submitted a list of episodes to the BBC
and were waiting to hear about clearances (sometimes it is too
difficult or expensive to clear an episode for release because of
music or footage contained in that episode). Network is reluctant to
announce episode titles until they've been cleared for release (to
avoid disappointing fans); at present, "Radio Goodies" is the only
confirmed episode. There will be bonus material on this set (as there
was on "At Last!") but we don't have any specifics at this time.
We hope to have more details about Volume 2 in the near future.
We'll
pass them along as soon as they become available.
The contents of the Network DVD were licensed for release in Australia
under the title "8 Delicious Episodes" (which is PAL, Region 4). We
believe that future Network releases will also be licensed for
Australian release.
* US DVD:
---------
As mentioned in C&G #103, a company called Jef Films is scheduled to
release a Goodies DVD in the US on 31 July. The DVD may simply be
called "The Goodies". It should contain the three episodes from the
BBC "Kitten Kong" video ("Kitten Kong", "Scatty Safari", and
"Scoutrageous").
Jef Films had previous released this material on VHS under the title
"The Goodies: Three Classic Episodes". I had a chance to review that
tape and can confirm that it contains the same edits in "Scatty
Safari" as the BBC video (these are detailed in Matthew K. Sharp's
"The Goodies - CENSORED!" guide at
http://home.mira.net/~kirseval/cut-s5.htm#ep5-6) I'm guessing that
the DVD will have the same version of that episode.
Many vendors are listing the DVD, including Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00028G6US/qid=108940205
3/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/104-9590430-3383146?v=glance&s=dvd_ and Brits
http://www.britsusa.com
We mentioned last month that Movies Unlimited listed a 27 June release
for this DVD - every other vendor had the 31 July release date.
Movies Unlimited no longer shows "The Goodies" as a pre-order item but
they do not have the DVD in stock. As of 9 July their customer
service department was still saying that the title was "backordered"
and they didn't expect to receive it for 2-4 weeks. The Jef Films DVD
will be in NTSC format. At this point we don't know if it'll be
Region 1 or Region 0. We hope to review the DVD in next month's
issue; any news we have before then will be posted to the club website
and the goodies-l mailing list.
* BBC America mystery:
----------------------
While hunting for information about the US DVD I came across an odd
listing in the BBC America Shop
(http://www.bbcamericashop.com/default.asp?cpa=product&rpa=2&id=1984&m
dm=DVD ). It's for a DVD entitled "The Goodies" but the page has no
other information except for saying "This title is not available in
the U.S. or Canada. If you would like to place a request for this
title, or be contacted via email if it does become available, please
click here."
I wondered why a title not available in the US was being listed by the
BBC America Shop. In the hopes that this might be a placeholder for a
forthcoming title (perhaps the Network DVD or the Jef Films one) I
sent an email asking for information. The reply I received said:
"Thank you for your interest in BBC America Shop. Unfortunately 'The
Goodies' DVD starring Tim Brooke (sic) and Graeme Garden is not
currently available or planned for release in the U.S. and Canada.
However, we use requests like yours to help us plan future releases.
We appreciate your taking the time to contact us at
www.BBCAmericaShop.com. Thanks and have a great day."
I'd urge other US fans to write to BBC America to let them know of the
demand for this title. You can use the feedback page at
(http://feedback.m23.com/bbcamericashop/ )
and speaking of BBC America...
BBC America Program Request Page
---------------------------------
BBC America has a page for requesting programs be added to their
schedule: http://www.bbcamerica.com/about/contactus_suggestion.jsp
"The Goodies" isn't one of the selections but you can choose "other"
(at the end of the list) and type in that title.
COMEDY CONNECTIONS CAPERS
=========================
(from information provided by David Piper-Balston and Alison Bean to
Goodies-l)
The Radio Times had the "Comedy Connections:The Goodies" special
listed to be shown on the BBC on Tuesday 23rd June, but scheduling
changes led to it being screened on Monday 22nd June at 10.35pm
instead, meaning that many fans missed out on seeing it.
Here's some excellent advice for all those who missed it:
Comedy Connections from the BBC Comedy Newsletter
(25th June).
ON THE BLOG
A lot of people seriously annoyed about missing Comedy Connections:
The Goodies last Monday (due to schedule changes). We did warn
newsletter subscribers last week, but sadly, the message didn't spread
quickly enough.
We've put a list on the blog of when the other seven docs are on. We
encourage Goodies fans to email 'pov@bbc.co.uk' and tell the BBC you
want a repeat. http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/blog/
Also a recent message on this Yahoo group tells you how you can access
Comedy Connections online.
http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheGoodiesForever/
GOODIES DESKTOP THEME
=====================
(Adrian Hudson - Goodies-l - 2nd July)
A Goodies desktop theme is available at
http://www.beebfun.com/goodies.htm#theme
SUPERCHALKS THREE
=================
(Mark Longmuir - Goodies-l - 5th July)
Just wondering if anyone else has seen the Goodies pavement art along
Southbank in Melbourne? It's just down from the footbridge towards
Crown and features the three of them on the trandem, along with a
picture of Osama bin Laden for some reason...
There's also a great Dr Who one nearby featuring the 4th Doctor and
Sarah stepping out of the TARDIS, with portraits of all the Doctors
(including Cushing!).
The pictures list www.chalkcircle.com.au , which has a (currently
broken) link apparently to some Southbank pictures. Should try and get
some pictures of them myself...
BLUE GOODIES TRANDEM
====================
(by Lisa Manekofsky)
In C&G #102 we reported that the blue trandem used in the Goodies LWT
series was being sold on eBay. The seller kindly passed my address on
to the new owners, a three man comedy group called "The Trap". I
received a nice note from Jeremy, one of the members of The Trap, who
tells me they are big fans of The Goodies. The Trap have only just
taken delivery of the trandem but they hope to take publicity photos
of themselves on it soon. In addition, they're going to the Edinburgh
Fringe comedy festival (http://www.edfringe.com/) in August and
they'll be bringing the trandem with them.
Jeremy added "we're indebted to the Goodies, our humour is also quite
visual and silly in the best sense of the word! So we're very excited
about our new purchase. Now we just need to practise riding it..."
More details about our The Trap's shows can be found at
www.itsalrightforsome.com.
GOODIES GET A MENTION
=====================
(by Alison Bean)
In the second episode of The Keith Barret Show (BBC-2, 12th July),
Keith interviewed Brian and Kerry McFadden (from the bands Westlife
and Atomic Kitten, respectively). After exhausting the contents of his
cue cards, Keith asked the audience for their questions to the couple.
One asked "What was it like being in Hell's Kitchen*?" to which Keith
replied "They weren't in Hell's Kitchen. You might as well have said
'What was it like being in The Goodies?'"
* Hell's Kitchen being a reality show in which celebrities had to be
the staff of three-Michelin-starred chef Gordon Ramsay's new
restaurant.
4. 2001 AND A BIT
*****************
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail
so that we can tell everyone where to spot
a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio and tv alerts between
issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-l mailing
list (more details available on the club website),as our crack
(cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the
information becomes available.
BILL SPOTTINGS
==============
* Well it's official, Bill is the new Delia, except where as Bill
encourages the nation to buy bird boxes to home the birds, Delia
inspires people to buy pans to cook the birds. :-)
http://media.guardian.co.uk/broadcast/story/0,7493,1242367,00.html
'Oddie power' sends Britain wild
David Wood
Monday June 21, 2004
Oddie: rivalling Delia Smith in his consumer influence
Delia Smith did it for omelette pans and now Bill Oddie - presenter of
BBC2's surprise hit Britain Goes Wild - has done it for bird boxes.
In a natural history equivalent of the phenomenon dubbed "the Delia
effect", the BBC's eccentric wildlife presenter has caused a
nationwide stampede to garden centres, as viewers, prompted into
action by his latest show, have been stripping the shelves of supplies
of bird boxes and bird feeders.
In all just under 84,000 people joined the hit show's "Make Space for
Nature" campaign, pledging to make their gardens more nature-friendly
by erecting bird boxes, bee boxes and bird baths in their gardens.
Nearly 21,000 promised to put up bird feeders, 19,700 to install bird
boxes, 16,500 punters opted for a bird bath and 11,000 went for the
bumble bee box - setting cash registers in garden centres ringing
across the country.
The BBC was deluged with calls and emails inquiring where they could
buy the items featured during the show's three-week run and referred
punters to the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) -
which has shops located at all of its 20 flagship reserves - or their
local garden centre.
"Our retail outlets have been exceptionally busy. People have come in
for everything that's been mentioned on the show - sales of bird
boxes, bird feeders and bird baths have all shot up and we have sold
out of bee boxes," said an RSPB spokeswoman, Caroline Osbourne.
The RSPB is now telling the public how to build their own bird boxes
and is ordering emergency supplies.
The run on wildlife-enhancing kit echoes the frenzied buying of
cooking ingredients and utensils recommended by the BBC TV cook, Delia
Smith.
When Smith called the Lune omelette pan a "little gem", sales at the
small Lancashire firm that manufactured the item leapt from 200 a year
to 90,000 in just four months.
Essex-based firm Maldon Crystal Salt Flakes was also thrown into
disarray when Delia included its seasoning in her list of "must haves"
in the kitchen.
The company had a workforce of just 10 people, manufacturing 400 tons
of the hand-panned salt every year at the time and was swamped by
increased demand.
The BBC resorted to sending lists to the food industry, warning which
products would appear in Smith's shows. The Collins English Dictionary
even referred to the phenomenon as "Delia power". Now it may have to
add the term "Oddie power" to its list.
Halting the decline of the UK's native house sparrow population was
one of Britain Goes Wild's regular talking points and viewers
responded by buying wooden house sparrow terraces in their hundreds,
which the RSPB sells for £21.99.
"We have now sold out of house sparrow terraces and our online
requests have rocketed 500%," said Ms Osbourne. Sales of birdfeed at a
specialist supplier, CJ Wildbird Foods, have also shot up.
The series, which was broadcast live from an organic farm at Devon's
Fishleigh Estate and included live outside broadcasts from a gannet
breeding colony on Bass Rock in Scotland and the London Wetland Centre
in Barnes, was an unexpected hit for the corporation, despite strong
competition in its last week from Euro 2004 football.
Presented by Oddie, Kate Humble and naturalist Simon King, the
programme has a following of more than 3 million, making it the most
popular show in the 8pm Thursday night slot so far this year, beating
last month's Chelsea Flower Show coverage.
Live wildlife broadcasts have done well for the BBC recently. In
January Big Cat Week on BBC1 averaged 7 million, while last year's
Bill Oddie show Wild in your Garden secured a healthy 2.9 million.
(David Piper-Balston - Goodies-l - 23rd June)
* On page 8 of the current issue of the satirical magazine Private Eye
(25th June), you will find a Ken Pyne cartoon strip about Britain Goes
Wild with Bill Oddie. I've done a scan of this, which you can view at:
http://www.goodiesruleok.com/images/Private_Eye_Oddie.jpg with many
thanks to Tim Aslat. Otherwise, here's a description...
BOX 1
Caption: Britain Goes Wild
Picture: Bill Oddie hiding in some undergrowth clutching binoculars
and observing some cute rabbits.
Text: If you're desperate for ratings...you find some strange, furry
little creature...
BOX 2
Picture: Bill in the undergrowth observing a badger, an owl, some
birds and a snail.
Text: ...that makes a funny noise...and creeps about in the
undergrowth...
BOX 3
Picture: Bill in the undergrowth observing two badgers, a mouse, a
hedgehog and some birds.
Text: ...then put him in something with animals...
Badger (speech bubble): Oh look...it's a tit.
(Alison Bean - Goodies-l - 25th June)
GRAEME & TIM SPOTTINGS
======================
* BBC7 is airing the episode of "In Conversation With" featuring Tim
and Graeme again this coming Sunday, 11th July at 11:00-11:30. It
will be repeated on Monday, 12th July from 1:00-1:30.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 9th July)
5. FEATURE ARTICLE
******************
(contributed by Marilyn Burge)
(from English Woman's Weekly - 1st June 2004)
"I'M WILD ABOUT MY LIFE"
------------------------
Bill Oddie is about to host the BBC's biggest-ever wildlife
extravaganza. In this exclusive interview, he tells Eileen Condon
why, after a series of devastating setbacks, his own life couldn't be
better and offers his own expert advice on how Woman's Weekly readers
can really appreciate - and help save - the natural world.
Watching swallows swoop and soar above my head, while a family of
robins burrow in a nearby nest and squirrels dart cheekily in and out
of the thick foliage, I feel as if I'm in some sort of rural paradise.
But far from it. I'm in the middle of Hampstead, just yards from the
busy high street and only a few miles from the heart of London.
No prizes, then, for guessing that such an oasis of natural calm and
beauty belongs to one of Britain's favourite wildlife experts, Bill
Oddie. But, what's surprising is that Bill's back garden isn't the
vast open space you might expect from someone so devoted to wildlife.
Instead this small urban plot, crammed full of towering trees,
sprawling wildflowers, ponds, bird-boxes and feeders of every shape
and variety, serves a perfect purpose.
"It's small, self-contained and everything is set up here to attract
wildlife," he explains as he bounds in and out of his shed collecting
handfuls of meal worms for the birds. "I can't be doing with those
manicured, clinically neat gardens. Nothing is going to thrive on
concrete or decking. If you want to let nature thrive, then you've
got to let the garden thrive. Keep it messy. Gardeners would
probably wince at some of the things that I like - bees, wasps, grey
squirrels - I don't mind, they're all part of it."
Right on cue, a tiny squirrel scampers down the side of a tree to
pinch a handful of bird seed Bill has just put down. He merely
laughs. "You just have to accept they're here to stay," he says.
"They're little survivors. I quite admire their cheek."
Bill's infectious enthusiasm and cheery demeanour are a far cry from
our last meeting three years ago. Then, the 63-year-old presenter was
just emerging from one of the most difficult periods of his life.
He'd suffered a devastating breakdown and had been hospitalised for
severe depression, which is more than understandable when you consider
his harrowing childhood. As an only child, he was brought up by his
father and grandmother. The only times he met his schizophrenic
mother were during hospital visits or on the occasions she'd return to
the family home and try to attack Bill's father.
"I've been on a bit of a difficult journey," Bill now says, with a
resigned shrug. "But I've learned so much about myself and about
depression and I feel a lot more in control."
It's not just his therapeutic journey which has helped to restore the
famous Oddie chuckle - the one that helped turn him into a household
name in the hit Seventies show, The Goodies - it's also the fact that
in the past couple of years he's back at the top, but this time as a
wildlife expert. His TV show, Bill Oddie Goes Wild, has been a huge
success and exposed his impressive environmental knowledge to a new
generation of TV viewers.
"I'm a bit gobsmacked by what's happened," he says of his career
renaissance. "I couldn't have planned this myself, even though
wildlife has always been something I absolutely love."
That's something of an understatement, because it's fair to say that
Bill isn't just a lover of wildlife: it's his passion. For him, it's
not some fair-weather subject, it has dominated his life. You only
have to look at the bird-watching logbooks he's kept since a small boy
to see how committed he is to the subject.
Often rising at the crack of dawn, Bill would cycle for miles to
nature spots and spend the whole day studying wildlife. "I was
completely absorbed in the process," he recalls. "I had total focus
and, looking back, it might have been to block out what was going on
at home because I didn't think about anything else when I was at these
places."
His recall of these boyhood expeditions is also remarkably vivid. "I
don't even have to close my eyes. I can remember the first time I saw
a chaffinch nest when I was 13. It had been raining and I was walking
through great big hawthorn bushes then climbing a tree to get a closer
look. My patience was legendary. I remember trying to find a willow
warbler's nest, which took some doing because I spent hours and hours
sitting in long grass on the edge of a golf course. I got to know all
the bird songs and the calls just from listening and taking it all in.
If necessary, I would be there for most of the day just following the
bird down and working out where the nests were from that."
But although his passion for wildlife never waned, it did go on the
backburner during his high-profile TV years. "I was incredibly busy
and loved being in The Goodies, so there wasn't the time or
opportunity to be as dedicated as I had been," he explains. "But it
was still a life-saving hobby. When we were shooting The Goodies I
always pushed them towards filming in bird-spotting locations so that
I could kill two birds with one stone!"
Bill also has fond memories of family vacations spent in rural
locations and says his three children (Bill has two daughters from his
first marriage, Kate and Bonnie, and a third, Rosie, by his current
wife, Laura) have all grown up with a passion for the Isles of
Scilly.
"I never pushed them to appreciate wildlife but the Isles of Scilly
has always been one of my favourite places and I just knew they'd like
it because it's fantastic for kids," he says. "So, without preaching
at them, I steered them towards those holidays and they used to have a
whale of a time. Even now, they always ask if we can go back."
The success of his TV programs means that Bill has the opportunity to
travel the world and witness for himself some of the planet's rarest
and most stunning species. But, ask him to name his favourite
creature, and he doesn't hesitate.
"The swallow," he says. "It's got so much going for it. One of the
great mysteries of the natural world is still migration. How can
these birds travel all over the world without a map or a compass? One
of the greatest migrants of all is the swallow. I've been in South
Africa and seen them skimming high above giraffes and elephants and
they could very easily be the same swallows I've seen skimming around
cows and sheep in Scotland. I was once on a remote island off Iceland
and I saw one single swallow; they don't even breed on the mainland
and yet there they are. By God, those birds don't half like
exploring!"
Bill amits that the TV show is his dream job, not least because of the
breathtaking wildlife he has encountered. "I was in Cape Town filming
last year and, within a couple of hours, everything appeared, one
after the other - penguins, whales, you name it. We didn't even have
to get in a boat - they were there, right outside the hotel. Then
there was the time when we were in a castle in Scotland and there were
barn owls breeding in the turrets, just like something out of a Harry
Potter novel. We had the cameras trained on them and, bang on cue,
just as the sun was going down this lovely ghost of a bird came
whooshing out, absolutely silent. It's in shot for only five or ten
seconds, but it's absolutely stunning. Moments like that are
priceless."
It's not all been plain sailing, though. There are a few downsides to
the job, as Bill recalls. "There's one shot of me floundering around
in water off the coast of Devon, which they keep showing over and over
again," he grimaces. "I'm in a wetsuit which has inflated and I look
like the Michelin man. I was floating around and couldn't control
myself at all. The cameraman was laughing so much he could hardly
film. Seriously humiliating stuff."
Humiliating or not, it's clear Bill is at last having the time of his
life. He can't wait to get started on his latest show, a wildlife
extravaganza called Britain Goes Wild With Bill Oddie. It'll be the
biggest live event of its kind ever undertaken by the BBC and promises
to show a variety of wildlife, including barn owls, foxes, badgers and
rabbits in their natural habitats.
"There's so much I'm hoping to see," says Bill, who'll be broadcasting
the show from a working farm in Devon. "In particular, I'm hoping to
see the camera in an active owl's nest. Preferably a barn owl - I'm a
huge fan."
No wonder he can't stop grinning. The young boy who rose at the crack
of dawn to pursue his passion is now getting paid for it and he's not
about to take any of that for granted.
"I'm a lucky man," he says. "I do feel as if I've found my niche.
It's great to be doing something I love and helping to inform the
public as well. On a local level, it's very heartening that so many
people are taking an interest in wildlife and enjoying it, which is
what my contribution is all about; because if you can make someone
enjoy something they might want to conserve it."
And with that simple but very valid point I leave Bill to make the
second of his twice-daily bird feeds, much inspired by his dedication
to wildlife and much cheered by the fact that I've now got the perfect
excuse not to sort out my messy garden.
* 'Britain Goes Wild With Bill Oddie starts on 31st May on BBC2 at
8pm.
Additional material
-------------------
Bill Oddie's Wildlife tips
(notes on the following subjects)
How to spot wildlife in urban areas.
How to attract more wildlife to your garden.
How to spot wildlife in freshwater areas.
How to spot wildlife in coastal areas.
How to spot wildlife in woodland areas.
Photos
------
(Main): Bill with an owl (and a wise owl-like expression on his face)
(Smaller): European red fox, Common seal, Red squirrel, Fallow deer,
Water vole, Otter, Young song thrush
6. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY
**************************
(by Brett Allender)
A KICK IN THE ARTS
==================
Series 8, Episode 3
First screened: 28th January 1980
PLOT
----
Tim Brooke-Taylor proudly presents 'Pro Celebrity Sports Night' in a
patriotic attempt to raise some much needed money for the British
Olympic Fund (which features the likes of hang-gliding with Cyril
Smith and fox hunting with Basil Brush - and puppeteer - who flees
rapidly from the hounds and hunters), but after he has deducted
various expenses (like 500 pounds for Nicholas Parsons not to turn
up!) while being towed around for a leisurely game of golf by Graeme,
he is left with a grand total of 3 pence for his donation.
Tim ventures to the cobweb-ridden British Olympic Committee office in
which a number of old men (who all wear Olympic blazers dating back to
the 1896 Athens games, plus a skeleton in a blazer from the games at
Sparta in 341 BC!) are asleep at the meeting table. He wants to come
in, but the former Olympians need to have a vote on it, which is tied
at 3 for and 3 against until one objector promptly croaks it ("that's
better, two against!"). Tim's offer of a whole 3p for training
facilities is sufficient to get the ancient athletes to fire up with a
patriotic speech about losing for their Queen and country, but his
disgusted retort of "Oh, bloody hell!" causes the remaining old
geezers to snuff it in shock at such language!
Meanwhile the British Olympic team are forced to rummage through bins
on the street for survival, although Tim is determined to help them
and after he is expertly hustled (at games like scrabble and table
tennis) by Graeme and Bill at their new casino and forced to strip to
his smalls to repay his debts, he is left with little choice but to
become an athlete too. The impoverished athletes soon resort to crime,
especially Tim as the notorious Masked Shotputter (who even robs the
Queen of her tiara in a brazen raid on her limo), but he soon comes to
grief when he tries to rob Graybungles Casino, as Bill blocks his bid
to polevault to freedom with some rapid bricklaying work and then
carts him to prison in a barrow of wet concrete, with the remainder of
the team eventually being locked up as well.
Graeme transforms into Kerry Thwacker, the Australian sporting
entrepreneur and assembles his own Olympic team of imported athletes
from various countries, but has to continually deal with phone calls
from "Mr Brooke Pommy Taylor" in the prison who is annoyed because
Graeme doesn't seem to be supporting the British Olympic cause
(especially when Kerry Thwacker successfully bids to host the Olympics
once a Russian official has shot himself after calculating the
enormous cost of hosting them). In desperation, Tim heaves himself
over the prison wall (as he uses his ball and chain like a hammer
throw), then quietly breaks into Graeme's office and makes sweeping
changes to the official programme of events.
Just prior to the opening ceremony of the Olympics, Bill and Graeme
discover Tim trying to hide in the stables, but instead of getting the
police, they want to give him a day to remember, as it's Tim's
birthday (then they'll get the police!). As a special present for him,
they reveal that all of their gambling and accumulation of imported
athletes has been so that he would have a world-beating, top ranking
British Olympic team, but they are horrified when they read Tim's
adjusted programme of events and their athletes go berserk and have to
be sedated with a tranquillizer gun.
However Tim has already assembled a British team, which consists of a
number of ancient writers, composers and performers. The Queen
declares the Olympic Games open, but the other countries protest
vehemently at the changed programme and walk out (with the torchbearer
using the torch to light his cigarette as the doves fly back into
their capsule again), much to Graeme's horror as he has just staked
his life savings on the supposed certainty of a win by countries other
than Britain. In desperation, he and Bill therefore form a 'Rest Of
The World' team to compete against Britain in the revised events such
as the 15 metre high dive while reciting Hamlet, the snatch press and
limerick and the lady novelist's mud wrestle.
After two weeks of competition, the gold medal tally is locked at
52-all with the final event to decide the winner of the Olympics. The
Dead Sea Scrolls Relay requires Graeme and Bill to race around the
track with the scrolls as a baton, but they are no match for a line-up
of 315 creative geniuses who hand the scroll on to each other and
ensure a glorious Olympic victory for Britain. However Tim is unable
to bask in his success for very long on the victory dais, as when the
Queen steps forth, she remarks "He's the one, officer. The Masked
Shotputter!". Tim's trousers drop to his ankles, which reveals his
prison uniform and he scoots off along the track, with Bill, Graeme
and the Royal party jamming away on the brass in a final serenade!
CLASSIC QUOTES
--------------
* Ancient British Olympian: "British athletes do not need to train!
All they need is to feel the British blood coursing through their
veins. And they have the knowledge that they're running for their
Queen and their country. And that the whole British nation is waiting
for them to gird up their loins, ... hitch up their hamstrings, ...
and get out there on that track and ... LOSE!"
British Olympians (chorus): "LOSE!!"
Tim: "Oh, bloody hell!"
* Tim: "You've been gambling!"
Graeme: "No!"
Tim: "Bet you have."
Graeme: "How much you bet ... ooh what a giveaway!"
* Graeme (to Tim on phone): "G'day sport, what can I do ya for?! ...
This is not a funny voice, I'm talkin' Australian. That's right, you
are speaking to Kerry Thwacker. ... Yes, Kerry Thwacker, sports-mad
international. No, no, Mr Garden would do a much sillier voice than
this!" (demonstrates) "Whack the diddle-o blue! Pull up a jumbuck and
take the weight off ya billabongs!"
* Graeme (checking out his sports stars locked in crates): "That's
Nastase in there. (crate rattles violently) Save it Nasty, save it!
And John Lloyd in here ... and Chrissy?! Stop that, you'll ruin your
service!"
* Bill (about the imported athletes): "Shouldn't they all be
British?"
Graeme: "Ah, they soon will be. Get all the men married off to
Virginia Wade ... and the women ..."
Bill: "The women ... me, me!!"
Graeme: "Why not, they're not fussy!"
* Bill (to a very tense and bossy Graeme): "Calm down, go and do
something relaxing ... like invade Poland!"
CLASSIC SCENES
--------------
* Tim's philanthropic efforts to raise money for the British Olympic
fund, with the Pro Celebrity Sports Night (including Magnus Pyke
knocking out four other boxers with his exaggerated hand gestures and
clay target shooting using a puppet emu) raising a whole three pence
once all of the various expenses (like twelve bottles of scent for
Henry Cooper and two tons of hay for Princess Anne!) have been
deducted. Also his round of golf, with Bill and Graeme towing him
around the course in a special buggy, kicking his ball off the tee
when he misses it, headbutting the ball from the rough onto the green
and then helping Tim to sink a long putt which curls around all over
the green before dropping into the hole.
* Tim falling victim to the ace hustler Hurricane Oddie in Graybungles
Casino, firstly being fooled by all three cups having a ball under
them, getting pressured into a losing hand at scrabble ( a meagre
offering of 'sat' with Bill then firing out 'squeezed' on a triple
word score) and being cleaned up 5-0 at table tennis thanks to five
dirty tricks by Bill (and not helped by some ill-timed odds quoting
from Graeme), before being swindled at I-spy, then forced to strip to
his undies and become an athlete.
* Tim turning to crime as the notorious Masked Shotputter, breaking a
butchers shop window to steal sausages, clobbering a Beefeater at the
Tower then nicking the Crown Jewels and launching a daring raid on the
Queen's limousine as it cruises along on a street parade, swiping her
tiara to the exclaimation of "Who was that masked athlete?!". Also his
attempted robbery of Graybungles Casino with Bill as security guard
pursuing him over construction barrier hurdles and breasting the
safety tape as the winner before remembering what he is supposed to be
doing and eventually trapping a polevaulting Tim by building a wall
higher with some incredibly swift bricklaying work!
* Graeme's posing as Kerry Thwacker, sports-mad international,
complete with boxing kangaroo tie and suitably over-the-top Aussie
accent, with him madly cobbling together an athletics team of foreign
sports stars while not giving a toss about their welfare (with Bill
reporting that the six Kenyan long distance runners are a bit squashed
and that some of the Russian child gymnasts are dead on arrival!),
asking Joan Collins to return the Arsenal soccer team to him ("what's
left of them!") so that she can have Sheffield Wednesday ("... and
Everton Thursday!") and telling "Mr Brooke Pommy Taylor" that "we do
not deal with common criminals!"
* Many of the scenes from the Olympic Games including Sir John
Benjamin competing in the 200kg lift and sonnet (only to fall through
the floor after Bill has unsportingly tickled him with a feather
duster), J.B. Priestly successfully long jumping over his entire
life's works (with a self-satisfied celebratory puff on his pipe when
sitting on his backside in the pit afterwards), Barbara Cartland and
Dame Wilhemina Oddietta grappling in a muddy wrestling ring, Graeme
and Bill bellowing away in the lead of the 100 metre freestyle opera
swim only for a British opera dame to burst shrieking out of the water
in front of them (shattering all of the windows and showering chunks
of glass into the pool) and Graeme's matador-like appendisectomy
performed in a bullfighting ring to a cheering Latin crowd.
GUEST STARS
-----------
Ballard Berkeley, Roland MacLeod, Norman Mitchell, Barry Cryer, Guy
Deghy, Cud Child, Tony Gubba, Marie Sutherland
MY 2 CENTS WORTH
----------------
After somewhat disappointing earlier episodes about the Commonwealth
Games and Winter Olympics, the Goodies saved their sporting best for a
very well pieced-together and quite amusing treatment of the Summer
Olympic Games, with other issues like fundraising, casino gambling,
the British sporting losers mentality, street crime and Graeme's
brilliantly appalling Kerry Thwacker impersonation all adding up to a
very enjoyable episode.
RATING
------
IIII Officially amazing
BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM:
-----------------------------
IIIII - Superstar.
IIII - Officially amazing.
III - Goody goody yum yum.
II - Fair-y punkmother.
I - Tripe on t' pikelets.
----------------------------------------
August Episode Summary - U-Friend or UFO
----------------------------------------
7. GOODIES COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #31
************************************
(by Linda Kay)
Issue 166
4th August, 1973 No. 54
As we've seen in past reviews of the Cor!! comics there were many
times the stories in the comics were similar to ideas used in the
television series. Some came after the Goodies' interpretations and
others, like the comic we'll be reviewing this month, pre-dated the
Goodies take on the same subject. This time it's the Abominable
Snowman the Goodies are searching for ... in several years time the
Goodies would be searching for Bigfoot, the American equivalent of the
mythical beast. A search for Arthur C. Clarke did not figure in this
particular comic adventure, however.
Cover banner: "Goody-Goody! TV Stars "The Goodies" Appear Inside!"
Header: THE GOODIES GET AN ICY RECEPTION FROM A YETI!
The Goodies are seen suffering from the heat in their office (the sun
beating through the window, the wilting plant on the sill, Tim wiping
away perspiration with flies hovering around his head and a ceiling
fan going above them are all evidence of this ... also they're all
wearing Goodies t-shirts!). A scientific explorer enters quickly and
is in distress.
SCIENTIST: I say, Goodies ... our captive *Abominable Snowman* has
escaped ... we're afraid he might *melt* in this blazing heat!
The scientist produces a cement casting of a giant foot, which Graeme
examines.
SCIENTIST: Here's how you can track it down! That's the kind of
footprint it leaves! Get to it. There's good chaps!
GRAEME: Leave it to us!
LATER:
Graeme works feverishly using the footprint mold to make Plaster of
Paris copies of the feet. Bill gets splashed in the face with some of
the mixture as Tim examines one of the finished feet.
BILL: Aha! What's *AFOOT*?
GRAEME: Well ... if you cast your eye over what I'm doing, you'll see
I've a *hand* in something brewing!
TIM: Can it be another famous Goodies plan?
Graeme takes the finished feet and attaches them to the back tire rim
on the trandem as Tim and Bill watch.
GRAEME: Now we can ride all around and make the Yeti think we're
another snowman ... he'll follow our tracks and we'll capture him!
BILL: 'pon my "sole"! It just might work!
The Goodies ride around on the trandem leaving a trail of Yeti prints
behind them.
BILL: Wow! Look at those tracks!
TIM: We'll capture that Yeti yet!
The Goodies, exhausted and overheated, come across an ice cream van
with a seemingly very large ice cream salesman inside.
GRAEME: Phew! This is hot work! Let's stop for an ice cream!
BILL: Can we have cornets? With strawberry sauce and a choccy flake?
Tim approaches the ice cream truck to be confronted by the sight of a
huge, hairy ice cream vendor.
TIM (Thought balloon): Gosh! What an ugly customer! (Speaking) Er
... three choc-flake cornets, please!
The hairy vendor (who is of course the Yeti in disguise) shoves a
large amount of ice cream in Tim's face as Bill and Graeme watch
calmly.
YETI: GRUNT!
TIM: GLUBB!
The ice cream truck races away, leaving Tim covered in ice cream. The
truck pulling away also reveals the real ice cream salesman tied to a
post and gagged, his clothes missing. Graeme points accusingly at the
fleeing truck as Bill jumps up and down in aggravation.
BILL: You forgot the choccy flakes, you twit!
TIM: YUURGH!
GRAEME: Here's the real driver! It's the *Abominable Snowman* in the
van! After him!
THE GOODIES CHASED THE VAN ALL THE WAY TO LONDON ...
The ice cream van speeds through town (its music playing all the way)
as the Goodies race after it on the trandem.
TIM: Stop, Yeti, stop!
BILL: Yeah ... I want a choc ice!
The Goodies speed through an intersection, ripping the pants of a
policeman who is directing traffic. The scientific explorer eyes the
faux Yeti prints the Goodies trandem have left with his magnifying
glass as Big Ben is about the chime three o'clock in the background.
SCIENTIST: Goodness ... Yeti tracks right here in London! I'll get
after the boundah!
Big Ben starts to chime, which makes the Yeti think a gigantic ice
cream truck is coming and causes him to slam on the brakes. The
Goodies speed toward the back of the van without much chance to stop
in time.
YETI: Ugh! Lotta chimes! Must be *giant ice cream van*! Better
stop!
TIM: Eek! On with the brakes!
The van has come to a complete stop and the Goodies barrel into the
back of it, knocking the sign off the van and flinging ice cream
supplies everywhere.
BILL: Augh! Too late!
A policeman happens along and confronts the ice cream van driver,
oblivious to the fact it's the Yeti in disguise.
OFFICER: I'm afraid you'll have to come along with me, sir! I'm
arrestin' you for dangerous drivin'!
YETI: *Gulp!*
As the officer begins to take the Yeti away the scientist arrives on
the scene and stops him.
SCIENTIST: I say, constable . . I claim that creature in the name of
science and British justice! By the way, have you seen The Goodies?
The Goodies walk out of the back of the ice cream van, each of them
frozen solid. The scientist falls over backwards at the sight of them
as the Yeti hugs the policeman's head and laughs out loud.
SCIENTIST: Oh, no! I started after one abominable snowman ... now
I've got four!
Sign-Off Line: Will The Goodies Get In An Abominable Mess Again Next
Week?
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
III - Goody goody yum yum.
While this isn't the strongest story in the world there's enough fun
stuff going on, especially in the backgrounds, to keep this an
entertaining bit of comedy. Graeme's animated way of pouring Plaster
of Paris (especially splashing it in Bill's face) is pretty funny.
When the Goodies are racing around on the trandem leaving the Yeti
prints, they run over a field (startling a horse), onto a road where
they run over the top of an automobile and then zoom back up the hill.
A sign on the side of the "O-So-Frosty" *free range* ice cream truck
offers such flavors as "Arctic Cor!!net," "Arctic Wafer," "Zerochoc"
and "Fruty-Toot." Even more clever, the license plate on the back of
the ice cream van reads "YET 1."
When Tim opens his coin purse to pay for the cornets, several moths
fly out! The Yeti wears an ice cream vendor's hat which reads "Stay
Cool." As the ice cream van races away and then zooms through London
it leaves a trail of ice cream cones flying out the window. The van
barely misses a businessman who has his nose buried in a newspaper as
he walks on a zebra crossing (as a dog tied to a pole barks at him).
Big Ben is shown with birds flying away from it as a shot of steam
comes from one corner and the sound effects say "WHIRRRR - click:
(wait for it ......
) and then goes "DING-DONG" in the next panel (compared to the ice
cream truck's constant "ding-dong" type sound effects). It also
appears there is a For Sale sign on the landmark! The policeman
directing traffic is left standing in polka-dot boxers after the
Goodies accidentally rip his pants off, much to the surprise of an
Indian gentleman standing nearby. On the double decker bus in the
background an advertisement reads "Schmoo Washes White." The bus
driver is signaling right (and his hand goes right through the glass
window on that side!) and his passengers on the upper deck are made up
of an interesting assortment of characters ... one appears to be a
superhero of some kind, another a skeleton, and yet another a German
soldier.
As the ice cream van screeches to a halt, it barely misses a mouse in
the roadway who stands with his arms out as it braces for the worst.
Finally in the last panel a fully-suited astronaut waits casually for
a bus while reading a newspaper. Overall this is a very animated and
fun comic, well suited for the hot summer month during which it was
published.
To view these strips online, you can visit this page:
http://members.aol.com/corcomics
We'll post the currently reviewed issue plus the two previous issues
for latecomers.
8. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
***********************
(a) Tim Brooke-Taylor
(b) "Aw, we're not going to Bognor again, are we?!"
(c) That Old Black Magic
(d) A record turntable
(e) Lady Constance de Coverlet
(f) Needed
(g) It gets shot
(h) Happy Families
YOUR SCORE:
8 Goodies fan supreme
7 Mastermind of the year
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Reasonably Goodie
1-2 Thick as old boots
0 Rolf Harris!
NEXT C&G EDITION: #105: 12th August 2004.
**********************************************************************
*********
The Goodies Fan Club Clarion and Globe is copyright The Goodies Rule -
OK! 2004. All rights reserved.
Permission to reproduce this work or any section of it, in any form
must first be obtained from the copyright holders.
For further information regarding this publication please e-mail
.
For other general enquiries about the 'Goodies Rule - OK' fan club or
'The Goodies' itself, please e-mail
**********************************************************************
********
|
