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JessPix's Journal
Back to JessPix's Journal
2006-11-29 06:47:14
Sunderland Clue
Hi all!

Peej/Im_A_Teapot has done a write up about the other events of the Sunderland weekend, including the fire alarm debacle in the hotel - tsk. Luckily we were still up and about when that occured, but were miffed we couldn't be in the room watching Goodies and saying rude things. I (rather proudly) can claim to have made Kirstyn spill her Coke & Jack Daniels all over the floor because we watched 'Goodies in the Nick' and at the moment where they were escaping from prison with a ball and chain around their ankles I happened to mention "balls" and "tossing" and all sense of control was lost. Heehee. 

Anyway. The show itself was fantastic, if absolutely filthy. Tim was possessed, he was filth-personified and all the better for it! He kept saying things and then burying his head (minds out of the gutter) in his hands at what he'd just said. I hope those rude lines get broadcast, if not, I'll have to share what I can remember. For the time being, I'll keep this spoiler free, but you're in for a treat.

Tony Hawks was the guest and he was fantastic, listen out for his Pick Up Song, it included plenty of helium! Oh, and John Naismith (a.k.a. Alan Bennett's love child) had a new joke. Wow!

Rightio, stage door happenings. All in bullet-point form because I'm a lazy git. We wrote this together on the night and I don't think anything's been left out. It was all very brief anyway. Here goes:

• PA woman asks me if I was in Southport, I say yes, she says it’s nice to see fans turn up.
• Camera crew there to film Humph signing autographs (for The South Bank Show - they filmed the recording too)
• People form an orderly queue for getting Humph’s autograph - Peej and K queue, I wait to the side as I have nothing to sign (take pictures instead).
• Peej: Can I have your autograph please?
Humph: Who’s it to?
Peej: PJ
Humph: Oh, just like that! [but not in a Tommy Cooper voice]
[Humph signs]
Humph: Did you enjoy all of that?
Peej: Yes!
Humph: Oh good, I’m glad
• Kirstyn then meets Humph who has her Humph book (not bought at the show)
• Humph: Ah, this one hasn’t been signed
Kirstyn: I got it last week
Humph: Excellent! And your name is?
Kirstyn: Kirstyn
Humph: How’s that spell [Kirstyn spells it] is that your name?
Kirstyn: Yes, it’s my name [in non-sarcastic way]
Humph: That’s a very nice name!
Kirstyn: Thank you
Humph: Is that what people call you?
Kirstyn: Yes
Humph: Not Kirsty then?
Kirstyn: No, that’s a different name altogether!
Humph agrees.
• Humph looks at me and says hello, I say hi back.
• Humph starts talking to Iain Pattinson about Humph getting picked up by an ambulance or hearse after recordings as a precaution (mentioned because a paramedic went into the theatre). We listen in and giggle quietly. Kirstyn says, “I want to say something but I don’t know what!” and Peej replies, “We’ll just listen in then!” So we do.
• PA woman says, “I’ll go and round up the guys!” as Humph finishes signing. Lucky woman.
• Everyone else (including Colin, who makes a speedy exit) arrives at the same time - people accost them in the doorway while we hang back.
• Tim looks around and then spots us - he waves and goes, “Hi girls!”
• Tony approaches and Peej hands over her paper, “Can you sign my scrap of paper please!” Tony happily signs. He looks at me and Kirstyn and smiles, we smile back.
• Graeme approaches and says hi. He smiles and says to me, “Haven’t seen you since Manchester!” and I reply, “Yes, it’s been a whole week!” I then say, “The Minx sends her love!” and Graeme does the ol’ raised eyebrows look and sly smile, “Oh, does she?!” Heehee.
• Kirstyn asks if she can get a photo with Graeme, he says, “Of course!” and they pose - Peej takes the picture.
• Graeme [to Kirstyn]: How are you then?
Kirstyn: I’m very good thank you, how are you?
Graeme: I’m fine thank you
• Kirstyn asks Graeme for a hug but a guy approaches and pushes his autograph book towards Graeme, Kirstyn says, “Go ahead” so Graeme signs for the fan and they shake hands.
• Tim approaches and gives the usual cheery hello.
• I say, “Tim, I’ve got something for you” (oo-er!) and put my carrier bag on the floor and bend over to get the picture out. At this point I realise I’m at crotch level. Moving on...
• I get the photo [from the Manchester convention] out of the bag and say something like, “Do you remember this? I remembered to bring it!” Tim giggles at the sight of it and takes it to sign.
• I say thanks for the picture and he says “It’s the least you deserve!” At the time I 'awww' but later think, 'hang on a minute....' and mysteriously end up feeling miles away.
• Peej says she really likes the picture and Tim mentions something about a waistcoat, which we don’t understand, but later realise he was referring to the picture and that he’s wearing a waistcoat in it. Duh.
• Kirstyn says to Peej, “I’m just going to go and nab Graeme!” Peej asks what she said and Tim then looks up, “What did she say?!” Peej says, “You don’t want to know!”
• Kirstyn approaches Graeme, “Can I have a hug please?” They hug, he attempts to kiss her on the cheek but her glasses get in the way. Graeme heads for the taxi and says, “See you next time!” (I didn’t get a Graeme hug - damn!)
• I thank Tim for signing the picture and he giggles cheekily. I try to read what he’s put but can’t make it out, Kirstyn later realises what it says and we gasp and giggle that Tim put, “Hi Jess, Be on guard”. Eep. Either he's referring to the pose in the pic or he's being a kinky devil. Please be the latter!
• I put my bag down and say, “Tim, can I have a hug please?” Tim grins with delight and exclaims, “I thought you’d never ask!” We hug extremely close, so much so that my cheek is against his hair - it’s so soft. He gives me double-backing rubbing (but not quite as dirty as the Manchester hug) and I reciprocate.
• Peej then asks for a hug, Tim says, “You don’t even need to ask!” then Kirstyn asks for a hug and Tim says, “Yes please!”
• Tim leaves and I say, “That was the tenth hug!” and do a cheesy thumbs-up. Tim laughs a lot and makes some sort of 'way-hey' noise (I can’t remember what exactly, but he was pleased). He blows a kiss and waves goodbye.

The End

Mood - Zombified
Music - The Beatles - Get Back (Love album)
Edited -

An excellent weekend Jess -  Dirty Great Gooseberries and the Trouser-snake especially!
Posted by:Im_a_Teapot

Im_a_Teapot WWW 

date: 29/11/2006 07:26 GMT
I'd forgotten Jon had a new joke. Can't for the life of me remember what it was though!
Posted by:Sosia


date: 29/11/2006 08:45 GMT
I loved the write up, Jess - thank you so much to you and the others for doing that. The show with Humph will be great - chance to see a bit of ISIHAC on TV!
Posted by:Dobbin


date: 29/11/2006 09:47 GMT
Thanks all

As far as I can recall, Jon's new joke was something about a POW (Predatory Older Woman!) who invites a guy back to her place and then asks if he wants a threesome, mother and daughter. The man says yes so the POW shouts, "Mum!" Boom boom! That was the jist of it anyway, it was amusing. Jon said that Tim told it him, and he'd got the joke from Jimmy Tarbuck, "So that's how old this joke is!"
Posted by:JessPix

JessPix WWW 

date: 29/11/2006 10:09 GMT
Thanks all

As far as I can recall, Jon's new joke was something about a POW (Predatory Older Woman!) who invites a guy back to her place and then asks if he wants a threesome, mother and daughter. The man says yes so the POW shouts, "Mum!" Boom boom! That was the jist of it anyway, it was amusing. Jon said that Tim told it him, and he'd got the joke from Jimmy Tarbuck, "So that's how old this joke is!"
Posted by:JessPix

JessPix WWW 

date: 29/11/2006 10:10 GMT
Jess I don't know what I would do without your write ups.  Why does it not surprise me that Jon's joke originally came from Tim   .  And from the excellent one liners i've heard so far Tim certainly had his mind on another "job" *ahem*
Posted by:bondgirl


date: 29/11/2006 14:07 GMT
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