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C&G 37 Dec 1998
#37 Dec 1998 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 04/10/2006

Index

» #37 Dec 1998

 
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
 
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
 
Issue No. 37                12th December 1998
 
 
THIS IS YOUR LEADER SPEAKING ...
 
Dear C&G Readers,
 
At long last here is the December 12th issue of the C&G. Despite that fact that it is well after the of 12th December, this month's C&G appears as it would have had I been able to send it on the 12th. As a result, some of the information is out of date, but as you can see I am not able to get online to obtain current information, nor can I send this to you myself.
 
Brett Allender, the club's Vice President will be running the club until I am back online, so please direct all your inquiries to him at bretta@comcirc.com.au. Brett will also be editing the next three C&Gs, so please send all articles etc to him.
 
My e-mail address will be not be changing for the moment, as the problem is with my computer, not my server, so if you have any personal e-mail for me, you can rest assured that I will get it one day.
 
I hope to be back in the new year and I look forward to seeing you all then.
 
Best wishes,
 
Alison Bean
carrot@wantree.com.au
 
 
THE LADS AND LASS OF THE C&G
 
EDITOR:   Alison Bean.
CHIEF REVIEWER:   Brett Allender.
CHIEF SPOTTER:   David Balston.
CROSSWORD MASTER:   David McAnally.
CONTRIBUTORS:   Gary Jerram and Sharleen Wright.
 
 
CONTENTS
 
1. BOFFO IDEAS - Club happenings and ideas.
2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
3. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY #12 – The Music Master.
4. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW – She Wouldn't Understand.
 5. CHRISTMAS SPECIAL GOODIES CROSSWORD
 
 
1. BOFFO IDEAS
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. Mail carrot@wantree.com.au with your comments, ideas or suggestions.
 
HOMEPAGE UPDATES
 
 
            With thanks to David Alexandrou, the Grand Master of homepage mistake spotting, our homepages are being knocked into a much nicer shape and should be very nearly perfect soon. And with further thanks to our convention coordinator, Trace Baird, a brand new convention page is coming, from which you will be able to fill out our convention survey online.
But features of our homepages which are already available are:
* the new look Petition page, from which you can download the Australian petition form and letter (in MS Word format).
* the expanded shop pages, from which you can purchase even more books, audio cassettes and videos (in both PAL and NTSC formats).
* the Geoguides, now on every page, which means no more annoying advert pop-ups.
            So take a surf to our pages, let us know what you think and if you know html and would like to help us (finally) get those back issue C&Gs online, e-mail carrot@wantree.com.au or bretta@comcirc.com.au.
 
 
POST BOX
 
            The club now has its very own post box. It will be used mainly for the 2000 convention, but if you have any friends without e-mail, who would like to join the club as postal members, get them to address all their inquiries to:
 
The Goodies Rule – OK!
P.O. Box 325
CHADSTONE
VIC   3148
AUSTRALIA
 
Postal subscription is $5 per annum for Australians and $Aus15 per annum for anyone overseas. (It's expensive we know, but remember, it's not cheap to post a newsletter this long out every month. )
 
 
AUSTRALIAN PETITION
 
 
            And speaking of our new post box, you can now send your completed petition forms to the post box. We look forward to receiving them.
 
 
2. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen a Goodie recently, e-mail carrot@wantree.com.au with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
 
THE GOODIES ARE COMING…BACK TO FOXTEL
 
            On the 1st of January, Foxtel's UK TV are giving Australian Goodies fans the best new year's present of all by re-screening all four BBC specials back to back from 9pm. First up it's "Montreux '72 (Kitten Kong)", followed by "Superstar", "The Goodies and the Beanstalk" and "Goodies Rule – OK?" The latter three episodes are rarely screened, so you might want to set your videos.
            And the Goodies Foxtel fun doesn't end there, later in the new year UK TV will screen the entire series again.
 
* The C&G gratefully acknowledges the Goodies-L postings of Gary Jerram and Sharleen Wright in the preparation of the above article. *
 
 
THE GOODIES ARE COMING…BACK TO UK ARENA TOO
 
British fans aren't missing out on re-screenings of "The Goodies". UK Arena, now available to all with a digital satellite dish, but also now limited to weekends by several stupid cable companies, will be screening a further run of "The Goodies" between December 7th and 22nd taking over from "Rutland Weekend Television".
 
 
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE…AGAIN
 
            A new series of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" – the antidote to panel games - starring Tim Brooke-Taylor, Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and Humphrey Lyttelton, has begun on BBC Radio 4. Each episode airs at 6.30pm on Monday nights, with repeats on Sundays at 12.30pm. Tim Brooke-Taylor's guest partner this week was Fred MacAulay.
 
 
A GOODIE AND A BEANSTALK
 
The pantomime "Jack and the Beanstalk", starring Tim Brooke-Taylor as Simple Simon, began a three week run last night at the Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford. It also stars Robert Powell as Uriah Fleshcreep, Trevor Bannister as Dame Trott, Rosemary Ford as Jack, Patricia Shakesby as Fairy Kindheart, Nikki Ankara as Jill and Andrew Jeffers as the King.
For prices and booking details head to
 
 
ISIRTA IN NEW ZEALAND
 
            "I'm Sorry I Read That Again", the classic 60's radio sketch comedy series starring Tim Brooke-Taylor, John Cleese, Graeme Garden, David Hatch, Jo Kendall and Bill Oddie is currently being repeated by New Zealand National Radio at the frightfully convenient time of 4.30am. To make it even more difficult to listen to, it isn't being played at all some nights and there seems to be no set pattern to its air dates.
 
 
COR MAGAZINE
 
Coming out very, very soon (at last!) is Cor Magazine #14 – The Goodies special. It features an exclusive interview with Tim Brooke-Taylor and lots of great Goodies facts. And as a special bonus, everyone who purchases a copy will receive a secret password which will enable them to download sound bytes of the Tim Brooke-Taylor interview from the excellent Cor Magazine website at http://www.cormagazine.co.uk/ .
            To purchase your copy send 5 pounds sterling (or 15 pounds if you want to subscribe for 4 issues) to:
 
Cor Magazine
24 Richmond Road
Basingstoke
Hampshire
RG21 5NX
UK
 
 
3. GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARY no 12
 
            For those of you unacquainted with Goodies-L, Brett Allender, bretta@comcirc.com.au, had been regularly posting to the list, summaries and reviews of each Goodies episode. And we thought they were so good that we decided to publish one each month. Here's this month's:
 
THE MUSIC LOVERS
Episode 5, Series 2.
First transmitted 29th October 1971.
 
PLOT
 
The Goodies blissfully listen to a string quartet in the park (although Bill seems to be more interested in the rock music from his radio) as a van pulls up and a bunch of thugs abduct the performers. With their evening off ruined, the Goodies return home to watch television only to find that various other bands have also been kidnapped and all of the music halls have been converted to discotheques.
 
Graeme suspects that someone is deliberately stealing the musicians and proposes that the Goodies should also become famous performers, so that they also get stolen and can then find out who is responsible and stop them. The only hitch is that they can't play anything, but after they expertly tune the piano, stretch the accordian to breaking point and program the computer to do the backing music, they are ready to rock and roll. Bill unleashes a sizzling rendition of 'Land Of Hope And Glory' on his electric guitar and the thugs duly arrive afterwards, but only take Tim's two pretty glee singers, as the Goodies themselves "ain't good enough!", which prompts another blubber from Tim.
 
To improve their image, the Goodies stage a free non-stop open air music festival ("Uz ... on Hackney Marshes") and perform jazz, folk, classical, black soul etc for seven days and nights, but nobody even comes to see them, let alone steal them. Finally perserverence pays off, as their stage is driven away on the back of a truck to a country hideaway, where they are herded inside by the archetypal bone-headed gangster Gerald to meet ... The Music Master! (who makes a grand entrance on his pipe organ).
 
The Music Master tells them that he once owned a recording studio which produced sure fire hits such as the 'Julie Andrews Album Of Rugby Songs', that for some strange reason didn't sell. He was despised by the music world, so he is now embarking on his vengeful master plan to steal all of the musicians and imprison them in recording studios so that he alone can produce all of the records. Among his stable of stars are Englebert, the warring Beatles and Cilla Black (much to Bill's disgust, as he can't stand her high notes!)
 
The Goodies are given one hour to produce a hit record, but Gerald makes their job slightly more difficult when he ties their hands behind their backs and gags them because they make "such an 'orrible noise". When the threat of being locked up with Rolf Harris gives them sudden inspiration, they start up a square dance rhythm, as Gerald and his fellow thugs take partners and the Music Master merrily plays along on the organ. As Bill gets the dancers to jump out the window, then belt each other up ("Now everyone stop and doe-se-doe, punch your partner on the nose. Slap his face, kick his shin, all join arms and around again!"), they are able to escape and release all of the other musicians except Cilla, whose high notes are considered unfair on the world!
 
While they manage to ward off Gerald and the boys by rebounding bullets at them with a drum, the Goodies are in deep trouble when the Music Master rides over the hill on his organ and fires shells at them. Reinforcement troops which consist of the Halle Orchestra firing violin bows to the tune of Beethoven quell the Music Master and the Goodies are richly rewarded for their services to the music industry with a pile of gifts (including the Northern Dance Orchestra who sing Edelweiss to Bill in the bathtub!) However there is a knock on the door from a certain young lady who was left locked up because of her high notes. She tells them "I'm goona poonish ya !" and does just that with a massive high pitched note which wrecks all their nice presents, the roof of the office and their eardrums as well!
 
 
CLASSIC QUOTES
 
* Tim (trying to find out who the Music Master (MM) really is): "I have a little trick up my sleeve that sometimes works" (turns to MM) "Who are you ?!"
MM: "M.J.Congleton. 17 Acacia Ville ... heh heh heh oh no! You can't trick me as easily as that!"
 
* MM: "I used to produce records like this" (holds up a tiny circle of plastic) "The Best Of Rolf Harris".
Tim: "But ... but there's nothing on it!"           MM: "True!"
 
* Englebert Humperdinck (singing in locked cell): "Please release me, let me go ... !"
 
* MM: "They're the only records you can buy. I've cornered the market. They're mine, I tell you! Mine, mine, all mine !!!"
Graeme: (horrified) "You're a loony!"                        MM (distinctly pleased): "Eh thank you!"
 
* MM: "You've failed. Take them to the cells.You know what to do."
Gerald (shocked): "No, not dat boss!"                        MM: "Yes, that!"
Goodies: "What ?"                                                      Tim: "They're going to kill us!
MM: "Oh no, something much worse! You're going to be locked up in a cell with ... Rolf Harris!"
('Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport' music)         Goodies: "No, kill us, kill us....!!"
 
CLASSIC SCENES
 
* Graeme displaying the string section of the band by opening the back of the bass to reveal a cello, then taking a violin out of the back of the cello in turn . When Tim complains that he can't play the violin, Graeme opens it up and pulls out a triangle for him.
 
* Bills ripping rendition of 'Land Of Hope And Glory' on electric guitar (complete with trademark "WOOOOOOW" near the end!), with Graeme playing piano and Tim playing the field with his lovely glee singers. Unfortunately it doesn't impress the Music Master's henchmen, as they burst in at the end and only kidnap the two glee singers rather than the Goodies themselves.
 
* The lunch break at their non-stop concert, including peeling spuds with a guitar, cooking chips in a piano, pouring wine from a trumpet, drinking tea from a tuba and taking a bath in the kettle drums.
 
* The grand entry of the Music Master on a sliding rotating organ to the tune of 'Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside'.
 
* The battle on the hillside with the Music Master firing artillery at them from the pipes of the organ with a mad stare on his face and his cape flapping in the breeze, then coming under attack from rows of musicians firing violin bows to the strains of Beethoven's 5th.
 
* Cilla Black exacting revenge for being left locked up by unleashing a seemingly endless high note which wrecks the Goodies office (and their eardrums!)
 
GUEST STARS
 
Henry McGee, Corbet Woodall, Norman Mitchell, Cilla Black, Ken Halliwell, Walter Henry, Patrick Milner, Maria O'Brien, Katya Wyeth
 
GOODIES SONGS
 
Land Of Hope And Glory, Philharmonic Glee Club Rock And Roll Band
 
MOCK ADVERTISEMENTS
 
Beanz Meanz Heanz - "If I Was A Millionaire", Baldicleanse Ink Remover
 
MY 2 CENTS WORTH
 
An early classic featuring plenty of funny visual gags, some great lines, a mad arch-villain and his thick-as-a-brick henchman and a brilliant plot. The excellent music throughout, especially Bill's unique rendition of 'Land of Hope and Glory' completes a very classy package of Goodies-style humour which is comparable with their best work from the mid-70's.
  
RATING
 
IIIII                 Superstar
 
BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM
 
IIIII                 Superstar
IIII                  Officially amazing
III                    Goody goody yum yum
II                     Fair-y punkmother
I                       Tripe on t' pikelets
 
<STARBURST>
 
*********************************************
 
Whack the diddle-o blue! Pull up a jumbuck and take the weight off ya billabongs coz THE GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES book is hot off the presses! Even thicker than the SleepalongaMax volume 98 record collection and far easier to comprehend than Eddie Waring's rugby scores, THE GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES is jam packed with gibbon-loads of Goody things such as:
* detailed summaries for each of the 75 episodes of the show (including fully revised versions of the first 10 summaries printed in the newsletters)
* the lyrics of some classic Goodies songs.
* heaps of cool photos from actual episodes and publicity sessions.
* an episode guide/contents page and signed author's introduction.
* alphabetical indexes of guest stars, songs and mock advertisements.
Each book is spiral bound with a plastic cover and costs $20 plus postage.
More information can be obtained from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/2934/summary.html  and details of how to place orders can be obtained by e-mailing Brett Allender at bretta@comcirc.com.au
All profits from the book will go towards the staging of Kitten Kon, our Goodies Convention in 2000. So why not be a sport and do yourself and the club a favour by ordering your copy of THE GOODIES EPISODE SUMMARIES today. You know it makes sense!
 
*********************************************
 
 
4. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW
 
            Hi there pop pickers and welcome to this month's music review.
 
WHO?
 
Last month's hosts Hopalong Charity and Alanis "Fluffy" Freeperson just can't stop bopping and spacehopping along to their infectious tune, and even a few whiffs of "certain substances" in an attempt to calm them down has only got them more spaced out than ever. Emergency therapy using a SleepalongaMax Volume 98 album is presently under way (if that doesn't quieten 'em down, Little Jimmy Osmond will!), but progress will be painfully slow, just like the ruddy awful singing! So for now we'll flick our knob to your disgusting DJ's Big Fat Willie (AKA Brett Allender) and Raving Dolly Model Sinderella (interested swingers e-mail carrot@wantree.com.au) (AKA Alison Bean) and their review of "SHE WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND" by The Goodies.
 
WHERE? WHEN?
 
On their 1970's album "Nothing To Do With Us".
 
WHAT?
 
Big Fat Willie: Bill has been married for going on ten years now and although his trusting wife doesn't want him to keep any secrets from her, there's a couple of little things that he just can't bear to tell her. Like the thing he's got going with his secretary, the other thing going on with the secretary in the office next door, yet another thing going on with the lady who comes in to clean on Wednesdays and the most amazing thing with the cleaning lady's mother-in-law! Even his journey to and from work is rather eventful - a fling with the bus conductress on the way there and one helluva good time with a clutch of schoolgirls on the return trip! He claims that although he loves his wife, he just loves everybody else too - including his wife's sister, best friend, best friend's sister 'and I don't feel entirely platonic about her husband either!', and eventually admits that 'I have an irresistible tendency to screw everything in sight!'
 
Sinderella: 'It's a beautiful thing when a woman trusts a man', notes Bill ironically, before detailing his numerous affairs. And it seems that neither his wife, nor his regular posse of lovers are enough, especially when he goes away on business. Most people on business trips are content to spend the night in their hotels room, with only the TV for company, but not Bill - he likes to invite a couple friends back to his room. Just a couple of bar maids, three Chinese air hostesses, a lady wrester, a sheep, a girl with one leg and a great big raccoon. But if you think they're all sit around watching TV then you're obviously living in some kind of Mrs Desiree Carthorse fantasyland (not that she likes watching TV of course). When Bill has 'friends' back to his room, they relax by covering themselves in raspberry yogurt and licking it off one another, before changing clothes, changing partners and having the time of their lives. But does he tell his wife? No – she wouldn't buy it, although I believe some mail-order video makers from Canberra have expressed interest…
 
WHY?
 
Big Fat Willie: Long before Slick Willy Clinton and his presidential peccadillos, there was another Bill who, despite being happily married, just couldn't control himself when the slightest opportunity arose for some 'way hey hey and a spot of bunny fun'. The similarities end there (close baby, but no cigar!!), because this little Willy went to market on far more than a few measly White House interns, as detailed earlier. This song was obviously an attempt to dispel those nasty 'three men living and sleeping together' rumours about the Goodies once and for all by Bill telling everyone (except his darling wife, of course!) about his exploits, but the admission that he even loves his dog (and the hamster) when things get bad definitely poses more worrying questions than it answers!
 
Sinderella: Thousands of years ago, Bill's ancestor turned down the advances of a rather kinky Roman Emperor. Failing to attract Bill with orgy invitations or pert pears with bulbous botties and squishy juice, the Emperor nevertheless seems to have given the ancient Bill some ideas, which he must have then passed on to his offspring. Generations later, the result is a hybrid mega-kinky super shagger and whether Bill's having a casual affair with his secretary or a fully blown fraise frommage frottage frolic, he is one Willy who gets stuck in. Of course there are a few minor problems with this, like the fact that he's cheating on his wife, but the main thrust of Bill's argument (and a lot of other things) is that 'a man will be a man' (Bill's definition of 'man' apparently being 'cheating bastard').
But if you had the choice between a quiet night in with the wife or a night of unbridled passion, what would you choose? You'd choose the orgy, wouldn't you?! Don't deny it! Of course, the problem with this option is that despite the fact that raspberry yogurt licking sessions generally occur when people are naked, there is the likelihood that discarded clothes may get splashed with it. And as the aforementioned other Bill proved, sticky white stuff on discarded clothing can give new meaning to the phrase 'going down'. And while claiming to have no idea what sex is or bombing Iraq may not have worked for that Bill, our Bill could perhaps pacify his wife with a peach flavoured yoghurt thereby getting down to some seriously enjoyable impeachment!
 
HOW!
 
Using the Black Pudding Ratings System:
 
MUSIC: Big Fat Willie: III Goody Goody Yum Yum; Sinderella: III Goody Goody Yum Yum.
 
SINGING/LYRICS: Big Fat Willie: IIII Officially Amazing; Sinderella: IIIII Superstar.
 
HUMOUR: Big Fat Willie: IIII Officially Amazing; Sinderella: IIIII Superstar.
 
ALL TOGETHER NOW: Big Fat Willie: IIII Officially Amazing; Sinderella: IIIII Superstar.
 
* Next month we review "I AM A CARNIVORE". *
 
 
5. CHRISTMAS SPECIAL GOODIES CROSSWORD
 
by quizmaster David McAnally
. 
THE GRID
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THE CLUES ACROSS
 
Row 1:
1- Where you can tour for 50p (7 letters)
2- Graeme kept one frozen - along with other animals ("Black and White Beauty") (3 letters)
3 - The Goodies Rule - ? (2 letters)
 
Row 2:
1 - Where Professor Nuts' friends came from (7 letters)
2 - Bill's sign on the blow-up dog: "? bites" (2 letters)
3 - Goodies' saying: "? do anything, anytime" (2 letters)
 
Row 3:
1 - One was used for accommodation in "Winter Olympics" (5 letters)
2 - Tim and Graeme used one to try to stop Bill in "Cunning Stunts" (6 letters)
3 - Tim's hair was kept nice and ? (4 letters)
 
Row 4:
1 - These were scattered by the Goodies in "Pollution" (5 letters)
2 - A lion's paw came out of a strange ? ("The Goodies and the Beanstalk") (3 letters)
 
Row 5:
1 - A big white fluffy one knocked over the post office (6 letters)
2 - Professor Nuts' friends were the lost ? (5 letters)
 
Row 6:
1 - In "Change of Life", Tim, Bill and Graeme were replaced by robots because they were considered too ? (3 letters)
2 - When Tim and Graeme pulled away the top layer of Bill's clothes, it could be seen that he was reduced to just wearing ? ("Goodies and the Beanstalk") (4 letters)
 
Row 7:
1 - "You can do what you to us - well, you can do what you like to them - but ? will never sign." (2 letters)
2 - The number of dwarfs in "Snow White 2" (5 letters)
 
Row 8:
1 - The white ? turned Graeme - and later Tim and Bill - into members of the animal kingdom (5 letters)
2 - The Goodies went back a long time ? in "Rome Antics" (3 letters)
3 - Too much of this was given to Bill when he could not breathe ("The Invasion of the Moon Creatures") (3 letters)
 
Row 9:
1 - The giant landed ? the balloons when he fell off the beanstalk (2 letters)
2 - Graeme hit Bill on the ? with the gold bar, to see if it - the gold bar - was genuine gold (4 letters)
3 - This drink really puts people to sleep! (6 letters)
 
Row 10:
1 - Where Graeme sent Tim and Bill (4 letters)
2 - Tim was the main interest ? the Trendsetter's Ball (2 letters)
 
Row 11:
1 - This mythological animal caught the Goodies on the hop! (6 letters)
2 - The Goodies had ? go ? Scotland, ? help the keeper of the monster enclosure (2 letters)
3 - This water area completely surrounds Tim's eccentric uncle's ancient residence (4 letters)
 
Row 12:
1 - Tim desperately wants to have one! (3 letters)
2 - Graeme built a flying one (3 letters)
 
Row 13:
1 - Tim was clothed ? a dress in "Chubby Chumps" (2 letters)
2 - Suppliers to both Graeme and the Coyote (4 letters)
 
Row 14:
1 - Graeme became one in "Black Magic" (6 letters)
2 - Tim wore one in "World War 2" (3 letters)
3 - Bill and Graeme caused havoc to passers by, when they attempted to achieve their ? spotters badge (3 letters)
 
Row 15:
1 - Bill became an ? Goody when he was sacked in "Cunning Stunts" (2 letters)
2 - Place in Scotland where the Goodies spent some time looking for an elusive creature (4 letters)
 
Row 16:
1 - Bill has one (5 letters)
2 - Graeme was hit by the one ? weight he was using to try to get rid of the clown virus (or tomato soup) (3 letters)
 
Row 17:
1 - Bill Brooke-Taylor was Tim's ? (3 letters)
2 - This cause a patient to turn into a skeleton (4 letters)
3 - This animal - disguised as a deer - was used by Bill to fool the detectives regarding the location of the train ("Daylight Robbery of the Orient Express") (3 letters)         
 
THE CLUES DOWN
 
Column 1:
1 - The Goodies live here (11 letters)
2 - "? the Light of the Silvery Earth" (2 letters)
 
Column 2:
1 - The Goodies dunked the woman ? the river, while her husband stood by taking photographs (2 letters)
2 - Tim ? The Queen to ask her to launch the Goodies' ship ("The Lost Island of Munga") (4 letters)
 
Column 3:
1 - Bill ? a match and sent the lighthouse into orbit (3 letters)
2 - In "The Lost Island of Munga", the Goodies disguised themselves ? sailors (2 letters)
 
Column 4:
1 - Graeme's instruction to his two astronauts: "light blue ? paper" (5
letters)
2 - What Tim and Bill did to the green groceries ("Invasion of the Moon Creatures") (4 letters)
 
Column 5:
1 - Bill accused Graeme of forgetting this (3 letters)
2 - Bill was an ungallant ? when he kissed the damsel in distress - without untying her - after the Goodies rescued her (4 letters)
3 - These were made out of board ("Winter Olympics") (4 letters)
 
Column 6:
1 - Tim's dilemma: Should he eat a lot (as suggested by the radio) ? should he stay slim and beautiful as Bill suggests (2 letters)
2 - Tim had to learn to ski without this essential substance (4 letters)
3 - The Roman Emperor Tim most emulated when he left Rome (4 letters)
 
Column 7:
1 - There never seemed to be enough of this for Rupert Windcheater (4 letters)
2 - Graeme ambition was to ? Tim and Bill and, later, the world (4 letters)
3 - When the Goodies left Tim's uncle's ancient residence, they left behind them a ? sign saying 'Bingo' (4 letters)
 
Column 8:
1 - One Christmas, it was the ? of the world (3 letters)
2 - Graeme tried to ? the United Kingdom out to sea (3 letters)
 
Column 9:
1 - The Goodies felt ? until they met Hazel (4 letters)
2 - Tim looked too nice for the Trendsetter's Ball, ? Graeme cut one of Tim's legs off (2 letters)
3 - Bill's fans acted like one (3 letters)
4 - Tim wanted to ? a jester (2 letters)
 
Column 10:
1 - Tim's uncle had a medieval ? (6 letters)
2 - The scout movement was outlawed, ? Tim pretended not to be one (2 letters)
3 - This is going to 'fix you' at the medicine show - you're gonna be cured! (6 letters)
 
Column 11:
1 - Graeme had a giant one as a pet (3 letters)
2 - The original name of the sleeping drink (5 letters)
 
Column 12:
1 - Graeme used Bill to teach Tim how to ? (5 letters)
2 - Bill walked ? the roof of the bus (2 letters)
 
Column 13:
1 - Bill had a bow ? which could spin around (3 letters)
2 - Tim used a ? in a game of conkers (4 letters)
 
Column 14:
1 - Tim was stranded up one (4 letters)
2 - The giant used to be a ? keeper (3 letters)
3 - The Goodies found it hard to say this to Hazel Nuts, when she asked for their help (2 letters)
 
Column 15:
1 - All roads are supposed to lead here (4 letters)
2 - Graeme went ? in "Black Magic" (3 letters)
3 - The word that every Goodies fan hates to see at the finish of an episode (3 letters)
 
Column 16:
1 - King ? climbed the Empire State Building. The Goodies' ? only climbed the Post Office Tower (4 letters)
2 - Graeme got a job ? the BBC in "Chubby Chumps" (2 letters)
 
Column 17:
1 - He was only a petite ? (5 letters)
2 - Tim ran with a herd of these (4 letters)
 
Column 18:
1 - Where the Goodies met the eccentric Reverend (5 letters)
 
Column 19:
1 - Bill put a ? on Black and White Beauty to win the race (3 letters)
2 - This uncle made Tim 'Earl of Northumbria' (6 letters)
3 - When animals ate Graeme's tonic food, they ? (4 letters)
 
 
ANSWERS TO LAST MONTH'S QUIZ QUESTIONS
 
1. Where was the beanstalk planted in "The Goodies and the Beanstalk" and where did it grow to?
 
A: It was planted in a park in England - and grew until it reached the top of Mount Everest.
 
2. What famous radio show is commemorated on the wall of the BBC studio in "Chubbie Chumps"?
 
A: "I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again".
 
3. Tim was the belle of the Trendsetters' Ball in "Rock Goodies". Why was this so, and who did it to him?
 
A: Graeme gave Tim a pumpkin (complete with dangling rats) to wear on his head. As Graeme also gave him a detachable leg, this resulted in Tim losing his leg at midnight - and so the search began to find the owner of the leg.
 
4. Why were all three Goodies too tall in "Snow White 2"?
 
A: They were pretending to be dwarfs.
 
 
THE END
 
"The sleigh bells! Oh you won't hear them because you don't believe in Father Christmas. If you believe you hear them. I hear them."
– Tim in Earthanasia.
 
            The C&G team would like to take this opportunity to wish you all the best for the approaching 'season of goodswill'. We'll look forward to seeing next year for another 12 C&Gs – if the world doesn't end at midnight, that is!
 
Seasonal cheers,
The C&G Team.
 
PS. As this issue of the C&G has been a) late coming and b) long, the next C&G will be out on February 12th. Be sure not to miss it. Radio Goodies – Boom!
 
*********************************************
DISCLAIMER
This is an archive newsletter of The Goodies Rule - OK! International Fan Club (copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 1998). Some of the information in this newsletter may now be incorrect. Current information can be obtained from http://www.goodiesruleok.com
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