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GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #17 - FUNKY GIBBON
(from C&G #50 February 2000)
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to this month's music review.
WHO?
Your festive season DJ Arthur Nasia was having a swinging time on Christmas Eve until he glanced at his watch and realised that with only 17 short minutes before the world was due to end, he had better things to do with his time than writing music reviews. Unfortunately Jane Fonda was already taken by Bill (who had licked all of the chocolate off the Mars Bars before leaving too) and Tim was getting expert belly button phobia counselling from Graeme, so poor Arthur was at a bit of a loose end until Lady Constance de Coverlet volunteered her services. It's rumoured that a struggle then ensued between Graeme (who was trying to put the clock forward half a minute) and Arthur (who was trying to turn it forward 17 minutes instead!), but as no-one survived the big bang to confirm or deny anything, we'll cross over to our Saturn studios and our "do do do the funky gibbon"-ing DJ Sir Johnathan Unappealling (AKA Brett Allender) with his review of The Goodies' biggest hit, "FUNKY GIBBON".
WHERE? WHEN?
On the 1997 CD "Yum Yum - The Very Best Of The Goodies", as a single (with "Sick Man Blues" on the flip side), in the "Goodies - Almost Live" concert episode and on the 70's albums "The New Goodies LP", "The Goodies Greatest", "Best Of The Goodies" and "The Goodies Greatest Hits".
WHAT?
Lyrics: sung by Bill, with contributions from Graeme & Tim
Come on everybody, it's gibbon time!
We're the Goodies, how do you do?
We've just been down to the zoo
We saw a monkey in a cage
Doing a dance that could be the rage
It's not hard, so let's all do
The Funky Gibbon, ooo, ooo, ooo
[CHORUS:]
Do, do, do the Funky Gibbon (The Funky Gibbon)
We are here to show you how (Ooo, ooo, ooo)
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon (The Funky Gibbon)
It's just like you
So come on and do
The Funky Gibbon now
Dogs are always howlin'
Cats are always yowlin'
But gibbons only like to sing and dance (Boop, boop, she-boop)
You be like that monkey
Get a little funky
And in a while, start to smile
Gibbon half a chance
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon
G, the world would be good
I, oh how nice it could
B, with just a little gibbon take (Sha, la, la, la)
B, just like that gibbon
O, and feel the rhythm
N, in your groove, and dance up to
The planet of the apes
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon
Now, everybody get ready to do the Funky Gibbon!
(Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon)
Drop one arms down by your knees
Let the other arm reach up to the trees
(Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon)
Let your wrist go limp like a bent baboon
Get ready to sing this gibbon's tune
(Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon)
Now will you give me an "ooo"? (Ooo!)
Will you give me another "ooo"? (Ooo!)
And will you give me an "ooo"? (Ooo!)
Now put 'em together and what have you got?
(Ooo, ooo, ooo, etc)
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon
{album:} He promised to buy me a bunch of blue gibbons
To tie up my bonny brown …
{episode:} Tie a yellow gibbon round the old … tie a gibbon round the old oak tree
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the Funky Gibbon
The Funky Gibbon!
(Ooo, ooo, ooo, whoop, whoop etc)
They're the Goodies, how do you do. They've just been down to the zoo. And this time instead of demonstrating their Lone Scouting skills by tying knots in elephant's trunks and giraffe's necks, they went straight to the primate enclosure and were captivated by a monkey which was doing a dance that would catapault them to the dizzy heights of 'Top Of The Pops'. All that they needed to do was drop one arm down by their knees and let the other arm reach up to the trees while adding in some nifty guitar and vocals, and Bill's exhortation of "C'mon everybody, it's gibbon time!" was taken up by an entire nation no doubt rather bored with doing the Bounce, or other tired old dances like the slimy toad, festering ferret and disgusting three toed sloth!
WHY?
Why indeed?! What on earth possessed three grown men to appear on national television in coloured overalls with the big 'G' on the front, urging a studio audience of equally crazily-dressed people to "Give me an OOO!" while leaping around the stage acting like a bunch of raving nutters? It might be a good question to pop to Tim at the convention, but despite all three being certainties to pass Dr. Garden's Loony Test with flying colours on that particular occasion, there's no doubting that gibbon half a chance at Kitten Kon, we'll all be up there on stage dancing just like that monkey, and getting a little funky because it's a top tune to bop along to. So let's tie that yellow gibbon round the old oak tree before it ceases to be funky and we have to stuff it to the tune of the Goodies' other funky gibbon song instead!
HOW!
Using the black pudding rating system:
MUSIC: IIII Officially Amazing
SINGING/LYRICS: IIII Officially Amazing
HUMOUR: III Goody Goody Yum Yum
ALL TOGETHER NOW: IIII Officially Amazing
THE BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM
IIIII - Superstar.
IIII - Officially amazing.
III - Goody goody yum yum.
II - Fair-y punkmother.
I - Tripe on t' pikelets.
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