» #41 May 1999
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
Issue No. 41 12th May 1999
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
CONTRIBUTORS: Liz Headland, Renato Abeydeera, Damon Parsons, Mikel Toms
1. BOFFO IDEAS - Club happenings and ideas.
2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
3. GOODIES RULE - OK SHOP - Heaps of stuff to buy.
4. PIRATE POST OFFICE - Your news and views.
5. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW - Stuff That Gibbon
6. GOODIES TRIVIA QUIZ - More Goodies brain teasers.
7: THE END
1. BOFFO IDEAS
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org with your comments, ideas or suggestions.
Roll up! Roll up! This is your chance to own signed Goodies merchandise. Over the next three months the club will be auctioning three items - a copy of the CD "Yum Yum - The Very Best Of The Goodies", a set of Goodies video covers and a special limited edition full colour Goodies t-shirt, all signed by Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden. All proceeds will go towards the Kitten Kon, the club's 30th anniversary Goodies convention.
The first item under the virtual hammer is the CD, so if you'd like to bid for it head to http://thegoodies.oztek.com.au/virtual.html for more details and an explanation of the rules. But remember...you only have until Thursday 10th June to make your bids. The bidding starts at $Aus30, so...do we hear $Aus35?
ADELAIDE VIDEO NIGHT REPORT
Last Friday a modest number of the club's Adelaide based members gathered at the offices of Oztek Online to view classic Goodies episodes projected on to a big bed sheet. Besides getting to see old favourites like "Radio Goodies" and "The Goodies - Almost Live", those who attended had the chance to see some of the rare episodes like "Hype Pressure" and "Robot". The night was most enjoyable and we intend to organise another one in a few months time. Finally, huge thanks to Tim and Shannen @ Oztek for organising all the technical stuff and to Tony @ Oztek for supplying the all the technical stuff.
GOODY GOODY YUM YUM
In addition to putting in a bid at the auction, here are a few more suggestions for where you can get your hands on the CD "Yum Yum - The Very Best Of The Goodies" from Liz Headland - JB HiFi in Melbourne, there were about 5 copies at the Elizabeth St shop for $17.99 each. Also Readings of Melbourne at http://www.readings.com.au/
For those of you who are unable to purchase the CD at your local music store, you can order it through the club website. Refer to section 3 of this newsletter for further details.
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen a Goodie recently, e-mail email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
TIM THE LADYKILLER
Tim's latest starring role is in a stage version of "The Ladykillers", in which he plays the character of Professor Marcus. The remaining tour dates for "The Ladykillers" are as follows:
17th May, Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne.
24th May, Marlowe Theatre, Canterbury.
31st May, Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham.
7th June, Richmond Theatre, Richmond.
14-19th June, The Hexagon, Reading.
22nd June, Grand Theatre, Blackpool.
At this point, Tim will be leaving the play, however there are further performances at the following venues:
28th June, Connaught Theatre, Worthing.
5th July, Lyceum Theatre, Crewe.
12th July, Civic Theatre, Parlington.
19th July, Cliffs Pavilion, Southend-On-Sea.
26th July, Theatre Royal, Bath.
ISIHAC RECORDING - ONE SESSION TO GO
The remaining recording session for the new series of 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue' (starring Tim and Graeme) is on Sunday 13th June at the Theatre Royal, Nottingham. Phone 0115 989 5555 for bookings and more information.
DO GO ON GRAYBOOTS
The second series of the Griff Rhys Jones radio chatshow spoof 'Do Go On' continues Thursday nights at 11pm with Graeme featuring as a regular.
GOODIES IN "TV ZONE SCI-FI SPECIAL"
by David Balston
"Great news, The Goodies coverage just continues and continues.
In the just released 'TV Zone Sci-Fi special' a whopping 18 pages are given over to 'The Goodies' in one of the most comprehensive features I have ever seen on the programme. The feature starts with an eight page history of 'The Goodies' television series which mentions the show's predecessors 'Broaden Your Mind' and 'Twice A Fortnight.' The history of the show is gone into in some detail right through to the LWT series and the solo flights of the three stars. The feature is generously illustrated with some wonderful photos and also a complete listing of all their albums and singles as well as their many TV musical appearances, such as Blue Peter, Seaside Special, Lift off with Ayshea, Shangalang, Multicoloured Swapshop and Top of the Pops. The feature is written by the ever excellent Andrew Pixley.
A four page interview with Bill Oddie follows in which he mentions the reason for 'The Goodies' series to be taken off the air on the BBC as they didn't think they could furnish 'The Goodies' and 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' with special effects. The interview was conducted by Jane Killick.
To round off the feature, a six page episode guide is included which to the eternal credit also includes a list of the 'Englebert with the Young Generation Programme Inserts'. However some of the episode titles vary from the ones we now consider to be definitive.
The magazine ironically also features an article on 'The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy" and also features an interview with the brilliant Jonathan Creek writer David Renwick (one of the worlds greatest TV comedy writers) and team behind the latest incarnation of 'Doctor Who' as seen on 'Comic Relief'.
TV Zone Special #33 Sci-Fi Comedy Special is published by Visual Imagination limited and is available in good newsagents world-wide or from
TV Zone Mail Order
Visual Imagination Limited
PO Box 371
London SW14 8JL
Fax 0181 875 1588
Or for America and Canada
TV Zone Mail Order
Visual Imagination Limited
PO Box 156
Fax 0114 181 875 1588
The issue costs £3.99 ($7.99US) with postage 80p in the UK or £1.50 airmail world-wide and $2 in the USA.
Many thanks to Renato Abeydeera and Damon Parsons for also informing us about this magazine article.
3. GOODIES RULE - OK SHOP
A reminder that you can purchase all sorts of great Goodies-related merchandise by checking out the following three web pages:
In conjunction with Amazon and CD Now, you can order various books by the Goodies (eg Bill's various birding books, Graeme's book of medical humour and Tim's golf book) and other books which contain information about The Goodies and other British comedies (like The Guinness Book Of Classic British Television and The Radio Times Guide To Television Comedy).
Also available via this page is the "Yum Yum - The Very Best Of The Goodies" CD, the full set of released tapes of both I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue and the two Goodies videos.
By purchasing merchandise through this site, you will also assist the club in financing the 2000 Kitten Kon convention as we kindly receive a commission on each sale.
- all of the information that you'll ever need on how to order your very own superterrific Goodies t-shirt.
- how to go about ordering a copy of "The Goodies Episode Summaries" - a 250 page guide to all 75 episodes of the show.
So remember, whatever Goodies gear you require, it's all at the GROK shop!
4. PIRATE POST OFFICE
"I went into London yesterday to buy both of the available Goodies videos and only managed to get hold of one of them as, apparently, the BBC has now deleted them. I am sure you know this information already but, if you didn't, I thought you would find it a cause for concern - as I do." - Mikel Toms
Editor's note: It certainly is of great concern to our club, as we were hoping that the BBC were looking at releasing more episodes on video rather than deleting the couple of tapes that they have already put out. Presumably the tapes haven't sold all that well in England (mainly due to the ruddy BBC themselves refusing to repeat The Goodies to a whole new generation of potential fans!) and the good sales in Australia obviously haven't been enough to satisfy them. I'd suggest that as many members as possible should contact the BBC Information (by filling in a feedback form at http://www.bbc.co.uk/info/contact/feedback.html or e-mailing them at email@example.com) and protest at this disgraceful action. For the moment, copies of both videos are still available through our website (again, refer to section 3 of this newsletter), but we must act now to ensure that the videos are always available in the future.
5. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW
Your previous hosts GRRRaeme GRRRden and Mildred Make-Everything-Groovy AaH have become so moved (completely moved, aaaah!) over the rocking rendition of Wild Thing that they have gone off to do something stupid and have entered the Eurovision Raving Loony Contest. For those of you who haven't read the Radio Times (and let's face it, who the hell does!), they have naturally been installed as favourites by Katie Pimple, although they are still holding each other so tight (not quite that tight!) that they could have great trouble winning the "falling down" competition!
And so we return to the headquarters of the Tillingbourne Folk and Madrigal Society where you can varnish your voles, rattle your chickens, rollerskate over your bushbabies and look out for the RSPCA as we join Eammon Old Gibbon Tickler (AKA Brett Allender) and Miss I.M.A. Gibbon, stamp specialist (AKA Alison Bean) and their review of "STUFF THAT GIBBON" by The Goodies.
On their 70's album "The Goodies Sing Songs From The Goodies", as a single (with The Goodies Theme on the other side) and in episode 3/4 (#25) "That Old Black Magic".
I.M.A. & Eammon: If your gibbon has stopped being funky, there's only one thing to do according to The Goodies - stuff it! Being the sort of chaps who like to be intensely cruel to animals, The Goodies start by putting on a country music track. Then their orgy of unrestrained, choreographed cruelty can really begin. First they take the gibbon by the hand, then they slap it up and down upon the floor, they tickle its feet and hear it giggle, unzip it down the middle and give it what it's hollering for. A rest perhaps? A cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit? NO WAY! They stuff it good and proper. Right on baby! Then it's time to promenade it around the hall, bounce it around like rubber ball, drop it on floor and trample on its toes, swing it by the tail from the chandelier and shove a hamster in its ear and a ferret up its nose for good measure! And as if that wasn't enough, they make the poor gibbon go through it all again in verse two. What a pack of Chelsea supporters!
I.M.A.: Many years ago, when I was still at high school (which wasn't really that long ago now that I think about), I did work experience at one of Adelaide's not so leading advertising agencies. I say not so leading because the recession of the early 90s had been hard on the agency - they'd had to sell the company trandem for a tin of baked beans, their creative team consisted of some guy who'd dropped out of his Arts degree, changed his name to Daaavid, got a job at the agency and bought a succession of late 80s, Ben Elton-style, sparkly suits AND they were left with only one client - the makers of Chicken Cores. Chicken Cores were a short-lived pre-packaged innovation, consisting of small sausages of stuffing designed to make your roast chicken, proper roast chicken and Daaavid's assignment was to tactfully market them - a product that you shoved up an about-to-be-roasted chicken's arse!
And so, on my fourth day, the poor chap, near his wits end, his sweating brow combining with his sparkly suit to make him more like to a disco ball than a copywriter, decided to resort to seeking help from me, the work experience kid. I was happy for the distraction - like most work experience kids I'd spent all of the week photocopying, licking envelopes and making coffee and at this point, I was so close to falling asleep with boredom that a casual observer might have thought I'd been listening to Max Bygraves. Anyway, he explained the problem and behold, I instantly had a solution - change "Stuff That Gibbon" to "Stuff That Chicken". 'Imagine it', I exclaimed dramatically, 'rows and rows of cooks shoving those wretched stuffing sausages up rows and rows of chickens, singing "Ooooh stuff that chicken, ooooh stuff that chicken, ooooh stuff that chicken...NOW!!!".'
He froze, staring at me in horror; his expression told me that I had not single-handedly developed the marketing strategy to catapult the pre-prepared poultry stuffing industry into the limelight, in fact it looked as if he was ready to stuff me. Luckily he had an epileptic fit...and spent the rest of the year in hospital. But he recovered and several years later he managed to sell the concept to Andrew Lloyd Webber for a 7 figure sum. Bastard!!!
Anyway, that was a rather long-winded way of pointing out that 'Stuff That Gibbon' is a very stupid, but rather amusing country music spoof and the reason why Bill Oddie wrote it, was simply to amuse and that he has certainly achieved. Nothing more can be said on the topic, except...Oooooohhhh stuff that gibbon...NOW!!!
Eammon: True to their motto of "Anything, Anytime", these so-called Goodies even manage to run a pretty decent taxidermy service. Not content with carting around a motionless mule in Bunfight, maintaining a mansion full of snap frozen pets in Black And White Beauty and contemplating stuffing a shot Tony Blackburn in Scatty Safari (Tim: "The visitors would notice." Bill: "No they wouldn't. Hardly any difference!"), the lads are happy to sing about going one better and stuffing that gibbon while it's still alive and giggling.
A pair of stuffed gibbons might make a nice marmo-set of ornaments, but the Goodies really need to stop going bananas over primate packing and take up some new hobbies. Like (Graeme) gardening, where they can grow chim-pansies while still tying yellow gibbons round the old oak tree if they wish. Or how about laying on the beach getting an orang-u-tan while frying sausages on their gorilla? Anyway they had better act quickly, as the RSPCA inspectors would go ape over such terrible cruelty and just might find an even more painful place to "stuff that gibbon now" if the Goodies aren't careful! In a possible ba-boon for the Goodies though, the mere sound of this infectious country ditty accompanied by the footage of Tim and Bill dressed as long-haired, white robed virgins chasing Graeme the gibbon all over the countryside in "That Old Black Magic" just might cheer the inspectors up sufficiently for them to for gibbon forget such monkeying around!
I.M.A. & Eammon:
MUSIC: III Goody Goody Yum Yum.
SINGING/LYRICS: IIIII Superstar.
HUMOUR: IIII Officially Amazing.
ALL TOGETHER NOW: IIII Officially Amazing.
* The next music review will be of "WORKING THE LINE" in the July edition. Next month will feature episode summary #17 Women's Lib. *
6. GOODIES TRIVIA QUIZ
by quizmaster David McAnally
1: How did the Goodies find the lost tribe of the Orinoco?
2: In "The lost tribe of the Orinoco" and in "Rome Antics", Tim has to wrestle a 'dangerous' animal. What is it?
3: Neither the puppies, in "The Goodies and The Beanstalk", nor the dodo in "Dodonuts", were going "Cheap". What, therefore, were the puppies going - and what was the dodo going?
4: What was "A Kick in the Arts" all about?
Answers in next month's edition; meanwhile here are the solutions to last month's quiz questions:
1: What succeeded in warming up the Goodies in "Winter Olympics" when they came inside the igloo shivering and complaining of the cold?
A: When Eskimo Nell began to start taking her clothes off (at the request of the Minister of Sport), this got Tim, Bill and Graeme warming up very, very quickly indeed!
2: What was so unusual about the events in "Winter Olympics"?
A: They were all held under water.
3: Camelot had a dancing....?
4: Why was the archery contest so uneven in "Camelot"?
A: The contestant on the side of the Council had a very large-sized piece of fruit (on the top of Graeme's head), to aim at with *his* arrow, while Bill only had a very small-sized piece of fruit (on the top of Tim's head) to aim at with his arrow.
Well that's yet another C&G flattened by Kitten Kong, so again we'll finish with some material from I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue (ISIHAC), which features Tim and Graeme as regular panelists, along with Barry Cryer and various guest panelists since Willie Rushton sadly passed away.
These were some of the responses from a round called "Closed Quotes" where the panelists are asked to complete a famous quotation:
* One small step for man ... (Willie): "A taxi ride for Ronnie Corbett!"
* It was the best of times, it was the worst of times ... (Graeme): "And they called it The Independent."
* It's better to have loved and lost ... (Tim): "Than jumped out of an aeroplane without a parachute!"
* Be there a man with soul so dead ... (Barry): "As Geoffrey Howe!"
* I'm going out now, I may be gone some time ... (Willie): "You know what Sainsburys is like on a Saturday!"
* Fools rush in ... (Graeme): "The minute McDonalds opens!"
* Some chicken, some neck ... (Tim): "Some peas and a couple of roast potatoes ... but no coleslaw, thank you very much ... not from McDonalds!"
* Blow wind and crack your cheeks ... (Barry): "But for God's sake, put the cat out!"
And so in the words of ISIHAC chairman Humphrey Lyttelton: "As the plump juicy earwig of time burrows into the uncapped toothpaste of destiny and the hairy spider of fate lurks hungrily under the toilet seat of eternity" we notice that it's the end of the C&G.
Hoots toots och aye the noo until June 12th!
The C&G Team.
This is an archive newsletter of The Goodies Rule - OK! International Fan Club (copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 1999). Some of the information in this newsletter may now be incorrect. Current information can be obtained from http://www.goodiesruleok.com