Menu
 Home
 News
 Articles/Guides
 Forums
 Goody Gallery
 Downloads
 FAQ
 Links
 Register
 Contact Us
 Club T-Shirts
 Journals

 Login

 Members Online
Last visits :
brettabretta
AzagTh0tHAzagTh0tH
soakessoakes
Jenny_GibbonJenny_Gibbon
PaddyMad4PaddyMad4
Online :
Admins : 0
Members : 0
Guests : 26
Total : 26
Now online :

 Joining the Club

Instructions for joining the club & getting our newsletter can be found in the our FAQ.


 Requesting Goodies Repeats

Suggestions can be found in our FAQ.


  Survey for Goodies Repeats

Fill in The Goodies Uk Audience Survey.


C&G 56 Aug 2000
#56 Aug 2000 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 26/10/2006

Index

» #56 Aug 2000

 
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
.
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
.
Issue No. 56                12th August 2000
 
 
CLUB WEBSITE
 
 
CLUB E-MAIL
 
enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
 
POSTAL ADDRESS
 
'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 325
Chadstone VIC 3148, AUSTRALIA
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
 
EDITOR
- Brett Allender
 
ACE REPORTERS
- David Balston
- Alison Bean
- Lisa Manekofsky
- Catherine Sumnall
 
C&G CONTRIBUTORS
Tim Brooke-Taylor, Elizabeth Ireland, Mark Longmuir, Alex Kidman, Liz Headland, Ben Evans, Phil Wadey, Daniel Bowen, Dean Mitchelmore
 
CONTENTS
 
1. BOFFO IDEAS - Club happenings and ideas.
2. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
3. FEATURE ARTICLE - Radio Times Goodies Article From 1973
4. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW – Cricklewood
5. THE END – Topical Nursery Rhymes and Goodies Film Club
 
  
1. BOFFO IDEAS
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions.
 
 
NEW.GROK WEBSITE
 
Thanks to the wonderful work of our Technical Officer Tim Aslat, the new Goodies Rule - OK fan club website is now up and running for you to check out at:
 
 
Please bear in mind that our new site still has various links "under construction" at the moment; however Tim is presently working hard to transfer most of the contents of the old Oztek homepages across to the new site as well as adding various exciting new features too.
 
So please be patient and continue to check the pages every few days, as most links will gradually become functional in the coming weeks. Click on the "news" link for the latest information on which website features are now up and running.
 
 
GOODIES-L
 
The Goodies-l mailing list has also been moved to a new location.
 
Existing subscribers have already received a message from Tim about this, however for the benefit of other members, here are the details:
 
To subscribe: send a message to <esquire@goodiesruleok.com> with the word SUBSCRIBE in the body of the e-mail.
 
To send a message once subscribed: send to <goodies-l@goodiesruleok.com>
 
To unsubscribe: send a message to <esquire@goodiesruleok.com> with UNSUBSCRIBE GOODIES-L as the BODY of the message. The SUBJECT is ignored.
 
 
SIGNED GOODIES PHOTOS
 
Offers for the purchase of a limited number of photographs signed by all three Goodies have recently been sent out to the first 30 people who pre-registered for Kitten Kon earlier this year and similar offers for a slightly larger number of photos signed by Graeme Garden will be progressively made to the remaining pre-registrants (in order of payment) in the coming weeks.
 
It is unlikely that there will be many (if any) signed photos left over for general sale, however for all club members there will be a few opportunities to win signed Goodies photos between now and the end of the world on Christmas Eve! More details in upcoming editions of the C&G.
 
 
2. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen a Goodie recently, e-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
 
 
I LOVE THE 70'S
by David Balston
 
The BBC is featuring the Goodies in a new BBC2 series 'I love the 1970s.' It was rumoured that an episode would be shown, but although The Goodies feature in the opening show it is the film of MASH that is being shown afterwards. This from the Radio Times website:
 
"I Love 1970
BBC2 Saturday 22 July 20:55 to 21:55
 
Jimmy Savile introduces a series celebrating 70s pop culture. This edition focuses on 1970 - the year of chopper bikes, Mungo Jerry, MASH and the Goodies."
 
The rumour of the Goodies repeat comes from the latest issue of TV Zone who state   "For those of you old enough to remember when Saturday nights were a sequence of brilliant programmes rather than five hours centred around a promotional item for a load of balls, then BBC1's series of Seventies Nights will appeal: details are sketchy at the moment but it's thought at the very least THE GOODIES will receive their first prime-time airing in years as part of the evenings' sitcom slots."
 
Unfortunately they got the channel wrong, but let's hope the Goodies repeat is still on the cards.
 
 
And from Phil Wadey:
 
Last Saturday (22 July), BBC2 started a ten part series on what life was like in the 1970s. Last week was 1970, and Bill was interviews: he talked about how the Goodies spanned the whole of the 70s, and how they wrote pieces into the series to be topical. Clips shown included the giant Kitten and martial arts being trounced by a single black pudding.
 
 
WE ARE AMUSED ACTUALLY!
 (from information contributed by Alex Kidman, Liz Headland and Ben Evans)
 
On July 29th, America's Greatest News Source, The Onion, http://www.theonion.com/onion3625/infograph_3625.html  featured a wonderfully satirical Infograph piece on the Queen Mother's impending 100th birthday and how it will be celebrated. Amid such charming ideas as "600 liveried footmen to assemble outside bedroom window forming the words Cor Yer Bleedin' Old" and "Johnny Rotten to perform expletive-laden rendition of Rule Brittania" is the eminently sensible suggestion of "A solemn national service of prayer and thanksgiving presided over by The Goodies" Perhaps it's the the ideal chance for Tim to ask her to put in a good word for him to her daughter regarding the OBE and to tell her great grandson to stop poncing around all over the place in his Union Jack waistcoat!
 
 
WHY ME, TBT
 
With special thanks to Tim Brooke-Taylor, these are the final dates for "Why Me", his latest play:
 
Guildford 7-12 August
Inverness 21-26 August
Norwich   29 August - 2 September
The Swan Theatre, High Wycombe 4-9 September
Canterbury 12-16 September
Newcastle 18-23 September
Poole         25-30 September
Eastbourne 2-7 October
Billingham 9-14 October
Crewe         16-21 October
 
Pavilion Theatre, Bournemouth (capacity 1518) Mon 30th Oct
Lyceum Theatre, Sheffield (capacity 1099) Sun 19th Nov ?
Wycombe Swan (capacity 1076) Mon 4th Dec ?
 
 
ROBOT REVISITED
by Lisa Manekofsky
 
I was recently at SIGGRAPH 2000, a computer graphics conference. Along with classes, technical presentations and a vendor exhibition room, the conference also included an art show featuring interesting and unusual applications of computer graphics. I was puzzled by one item, which was a little fenced in area with a sign saying "Petting Zoo open". Inside the fence were a number of small applicances, such as a toaster and a tea kettle, to which had been attached wheels. The applicances were also fitted with light sensors and they were supposed to move when a flashlight was shined upon them (the day I was there the appliances must have been tired, since only the toaster seemed inclined to respond to the stimulus). Curious to learn what the point of all this was, I read the notice posted next to the exhibit, which is quoted below. I have to admit that it reminded me of the appliance walkout scene from the end of the LWT Goodies episode, "Robot".  
 
SIGGRAPH 2000 Art show exhibit - "Free Range Appliances in a Light Dill Sauce by Rania Ho of the Interactive Telecommunications Program at New York University is an exploration of anthropomorphic qualities inherent in household gadgets and an irreverent look at the meaning of "smart" appliances. Kitchen appliances are liberated from their mundane existences and are taught motor skills so they can fully realize their suppressed ambulatory desires."
 
Perhaps there's a closet Goodies fan at New York University!
 
 
THE GOODIES ARE BACK ON UKTV
 (from information provided by Lisa Manekofsky and Dean Mitchelmore)
 
A quick search of the on-line Foxtel listings (at http://www.foxtel.com.au/ ) shows that The Goodies will be shown on the pay-tv channel UK-TV at the following times, although no episode titles are given:
 
19 Aug. - 4:00 p.m.
27 Aug. - 9:30am
28 Aug. - 3:30am
30 Aug. - 5:00pm
31 Aug. - 5:00pm
1 Sept. - 5:00pm
4 Sept. - 5:00pm
5 Sept. - 5:00pm
6 Sept. - 5:00pm
7 Sept. - 5:00pm
 
 
THE MOTION SHOW, EPISODE 4
by Alison Bean with thanks to David Balston.
 
A Goodies fan in London may not be able to go up the Telecom (ie. Post Office) Tower but they can still visit Mecca, or BBC Broadcasting House as it is better known. Avoiding the massive posters of TV chef, heart-throb and Sainsbury's boy Jamie Oliver and refusing to pay for my BBC Experience, I joined the queue outside for the recording of the 4th edition of The Motion Show. Eventually I was ushered in to the sumptuous art-deco splendour of the Radio Theatre, adorned with plaques commemorating comedy legends such as Peter Sellers and Tommy Handley. Soon we were introduced to another comedy legend, Graeme Garden and the show's panel: former Tory MP Giles Brandreth, celebrity-chef Antony Warrell Thompson and comedians Hugh Dennis and Arthur Smith.
 
Pausing only to wish the audience good luck, Graeme started proceedings and reminded us that not only did this program contain learned debate by expert panellists but it promises to make the listener slimmer and more attractive to the opposite sex. (And incidentally, he was right, partly and no I will not give details.) He then moved on to the first round, "Fantasy Motions". Giles started with that proposal that fat American tourists should be banned from the underground, a suggestion very popular with the London audience. Arthur Smith went on to propose a ban on futons, saying that they were about as comfortable as putting a duvet cover on an ironing-board. In reply Antony remarked that he'd always found that very comfortable, probably because of his stomach. Graeme agreed as he's always found Antony's stomach very comfortable.
 
Having set the tone for the show, "but never mind", Graeme introduced the first motion, which saw Giles proposing "This house prefers British television", using 'Postman Pat', 'The Magic Roundabout', 'Panorama', 'Bill and Ben', Dale Winton and Fanny Craddock as examples of good British television. Hugh, rejecting the motion, cited 'Mind Your Language', 'Never The Twain' and 'Newsroom South-East', but strangely not 'Big Brother'. His most convincing argument, that British television has survived on a series of programs about pets, cookery, vets and gardening since the late 70s was sadly edited down to just that comment, removing a splendid send-up of dumbed-down TV schedules, in which every program from 'Animal Hospital' to the 'News At Ten' discussed the progress of poor, sick, Benjy the stoat. But his argument that American shows such as 'Ally McBeal' and 'Friends' are better than anything Britain can produce was nothing compared to Giles reminding us of the delights of 'Oh! No, It's Selwyn Froggett' and then finally saying the only two words that could possibly prove his point: 'The Goodies'. Cue cheers and wild applause. The audience vote was surprisingly close on this one, but Giles' blatant suck-up to the chairman ensured that Graeme deemed him the winner.
 
The second motion concerned conventional medicine. Arthur Smith arguing for it, pointed out that if he'd been in a horrible accident and had limbs falling off the last thing he wanted was a man with a pony-tail anointing him with artichoke leaves. After a quick interlude from Graeme, in which he pointed out that Britain's National Health Service was much admired throughout the world, "but strangely never copied", Antony Worrall Thompson responded to Arthur's argument with a strange, rambling story about having trouble with his ablutions and being asked by a witchdoctor whether he'd eaten beetroot. The half empty glass of red wine (or possibly beetroot juice) by his side said more about that than I can and Arthur went on to win.
 
The final motion was about bringing back national service. Arthur Smith argued that what the apathetic, baseball-capped, drug-using youth of today needed was not "garage/hip-hop/skiffle music" but discipline. Graeme agreed and suggested that perhaps this was the way to stop football hooligans going overseas and beating up foreigners, by training them to go overseas and beat up foreigners ("Damn!"). Giles Brandreth rejected the motion by reminding us that the only person to bring back national service in recent years was Idi Amin and an ignorant peer who thought napkin rings the height of poverty. Hugh Dennis had a different view, saying he would bring back national service, for old people, as they're the ones who want it the most "let them have it". But we audience knew where we stood and Arthur received no votes, despite his agent and his mother being among us.
 
And that was that, apart from the Chairman's Motion, which this week was "My house believe everyone should be made to eat dirt". The panellists seemed a little unsure about this one and only managed to suggest that if it were cooked with a marscapone coulis by Antony they'd eat it. Perhaps the motion should have been "My house believe that Jane Root should be made to eat dirt"? Which brings me neatly to the brilliant and sadly axed 'If I Ruled The World' which isn't entirely dissimilar to 'The Motion Show', which is as good a substitute for it as you could get. My only problem is that there were so many hilarious and just plain rude tangents (such as Arthur Smith's "f**king the Queen Mother" joke) in the recording that the edited, broadcast version seemed a slight let down. My advice is seek out a recording of this show if you can.
 
 
ALL LAVA LAMPS & LIKELY LADS
by Catherine Sumnall
 
With Fawlty Towers still on television, and the Rolling Stones threatening to go on (and on, and on), it may appear that nothing has changed since the halcyon days of the 1970s. As ever, the dear old beeb set out to prove everyone wrong by wheeling out an exotic selction of cultural icons as a new format quiz show "Who's That?". Though quite why Donny Osmond was thought necessary is debatable. Perhaps that could make a series too?
 
Episode one, 1970, proved useful in two ways. Firstly it provided numerous individuals with the chance to relive the unarguable glories of the Goodie era, accompanied by charm personified: Mr Bill Oddie. Across the nation, cries of "Hasn't he aged?!" were audible. Possibly. But most importantly, it generously furnished me with a fruitful subject to ramble about this month and give a name check to the incomparable Clangers! And aren't we having fun?
 
There was more to come. With the institution of Match of the Day having been defeated in the play-off semi-final of destiny, its late night spot was consumed by...Match of the Seventies! 1970 proved largely football dominated, but, naturally, by 1971, the producer had headed for the glowing grail of comedy clips: a goodies advert; parodying that inexplicable trait of petrol stations: to dole out bits of card to persuade you to return on the off chance you might get George Best rather than Ted McDougal.
 
Although I'm far too vibrant and youthful to come close to remembering the 1970s, wasn't it a time of ceaseless strikes, an energy crisis, and the three day week? I could be wrong, but it doesn't appear to matter. You see, we're all crazee now...
 
 
LITTLE'UNS
 
* The British digital TV channel UK Play features the new series "Vic Reeves Examines", which took a look at birdwatching with the help of Bill Oddie on Thursday 27th July. (David Balston)
 
* Jamie and Justin Evangelista's excellent "Unofficial Goodies Site" at http://users.townsqr.com/ale/goodies.htm  contains all sorts of goody things including theme song lyrics, photos, quotes, sounds and Goodies desktop icons to download. (Alison Bean)
 
* It's an old spotting, but a Goody (boom, boom). Anyway, whilst visiting Cambridge on a backpacking trek three years ago, many of the buses had an advert for rum (I think) with an old picture of the Goodies on it,dressed in their caveman style skins. Very funny, also spotted throughout billboards in Manchester! (Elizabeth Ireland)
 
* Tuesday 1 Aug, BBC Radio 2, 9pm "There'll Never Be Another" is now being presented by Graeme Garden (not Vic Reeves, as previously advertised) and tonight's subject is Frankie Howerd, the comedian who rose to fame on radio with 'Variety Bandbox' and regained the heights two decades later as Roman slave Lurcio in the television series 'Up Pompeii'.(Phil Wadey)
 
*Graeme Garden is currently hosting a series called "There'll Never Be Another" on Radio 2 at 9pm every Tuesday. It's a series of documentaries on famous comedians. The August 8th show was on Benny Hill and featured comments from infamous cult comedy historian and author Robert Ross. Next week's programme, the fifth in the series, is about Morecombe and Wise. (Alison Bean)
 
* Just thought I'd mention that Robin Day -- not Robin Yad -- died on Sunday 6th August. That's Robin DAY, not YAD (who is in any case a much shorter person, and would have no qualms in being involved with something as degrading as Mixed Dancing!). See http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_870000/870113.stm  (Daniel Bowen)
 
* Last week on Foxtel's Arena channel they had a send up of Channel V's 'reporter search' on their Inside the Arena program. Amongst the real clips of auditioning reporters, they stuck in a few fakes of their own, including host James O'Loughlin and comedian Rove McManus, who happened to be wearing a blue Goodies t-shirt under his jacket :) More infiltration into Australian culture... in addition to Spiderbait with their 'Run' cover, members of band Jebediah have been spotted wearing Goodies shirts too! (Mark Longmuir)
 
 
3. FEATURE ARTICLE
 
"RADIO TIMES" GOODIES ARTICLE FROM 1973
by Lisa Manekofsky.
 
The following article appeared in The RadioTimes issue dated 3-9 February 1973.   I have no idea why the author thought it was necessary to give Tim and Bill's full names throughout the article while he refers to Graeme by just his first name only in most cases (I just type 'em as I see 'em ;)
 
Cover Story: In Pursuit of a Load of Goodies
Just what makes the Goodies so good? To answer this question, RADIO TIMES sent Russell Miller to deepest Norfolk, where the first episode in their new series was being filmed. He sent back this report...
 
THE GOODIES are very serious, in a silly sort of way, about the Goodies. Bill Oddie says that what they are doing, in terms of comedy, is no less important than "War and Peace".  
 
Tim Brooke-Taylor elaborates: 'Ideally "The Goodies" will be great in 70 years' time, although we are not writing for posterity - I think that would be fatal. If Tolstoy had sat down to write for posterity he would have written the most boring book in the world.' 
 
'Some people,' says Bill Oddie, 'have tried to do that - Milton for example - and succeeded in writing the most boring book in the world.'
 
'That's Milton Shulman though, isn't it?' murmurs Brooke-Taylor.
 
We are sitting in the bar of a hotel in King's Lynn and the Goodies are supposed to be talking about the Goodies. They are resting from a hard day's filming at the nearby Construction Industry Training Centre for the first of their new series. Bill Oddie had been playing conkers with a demolition ball swung by a crane; Graeme Garden had fought a bulldozer as if in a bullring; and a mechanical grab had hauled off Tim Brooke-Taylor. And all because the story demanded that the Goodies, in their quest for Britain's last bit of open country, should find themselves up against a take-over by machines...
 
Despite the raison d'être of our hotel bar gathering, I'm finding that a question to a Goody is little more than a cue for a joke, an argument, or a three-cornered debate. Witness the inauspicious opening of the encounter. When, I asked in all innocence, did the Goodies first work for the BBC?
 
TIM: I went for 45 interviews for a general traineeship at the BBC.
GRAEME: Did you get it?
TIM: No.
BILL: I did.
TIM: No you didn't.
GRAEME: He got a traineeship for tea boy.
BILL: I gave the lie to the whole idea that there was a BBC type.
TIM: In my particular year at Cambridge there were only two people offered a traineeship and you weren't one.
BILL: Well I was offered something extremely important. If it wasn't a traineeship it may well have been the director-generalship.
TIM: Anyway, they only chose extremely boring people who edited the University magazine. Surely you couldn't have been one of those?
BILL: Now you put it that way, I suppose I couldn't have been.
 
During the course of the next hour, I am informed that the Queen is a typical Goodies viewer, that they are changing their style 'rather like Leonardo da Vinci changed his style a bit,' and that Graeme Garden spends hours at the bottom of Bill Oddie's garden. What other interests do they have?
 
'I adore football and I like going to the cinema,' says Tim Brooke-Taylor. 'I also have an interest in archaeology and picture myself in a floppy white hat pottering off to discover a whole new Atlantis.'
 
'My interests are art, playing the banjo and fishing,' says Graeme. 'That's my bag, as they say. I'm into fishing.'
 
'But he's not into fish...'
 
'When I catch a fish I'll probably find it such a disgusting experience that I'll give it up.'
 
'Honestly,' says Bill Oddie with a great guffaw, 'he sits at the end of my garden like a little gnome wearing a red cap and a white beard and he hasn't caught a thing. Day after day he sits there...and there are millions of fish in that pond.'
 
'As every true fisherman knows,' Graeme puts in sharply, 'catching fish is not the point of fishing.'
 
Bill Oddie's obsession is bird watching. 'A lot of people in show business have an interest in bird watching, but I'm one of the fanatical ones. Whenever I can, I go off crawling through mud of undergrowth or walking miles just to watch birds. I am absolutely fascinated by it.'
 
But it appears the thing they enjoy best is being Goodies. Bill explains: "What we are doing is projecting our own humour. We write it and we act it, so we are projecting ourselves. Consequently it is much nicer for us if we are recognised than if someone comes up and says "Excuse me, aren't you Ena Sharples?"'
 
'Yes, I can see you would find that a bit irritating,' says Graeme.
 
'A lot of people were very suspicious of the Goodies to start with,' says Tim Brooke-Taylor. "They wouldn't accept it was just a silly programme. True, each episode has a story, but basically we are trying to produce the funniest half-hour anyone has ever seen.'
 
I ask Graeme, who is a qualified doctor, if he ever thinks he should be practising his profession for the good of the population rather than cavorting about as a Goody.
 
"He had an extremely smooth answer to that question once,' Tim interrupts. 'What was it, Graeme?'
 
'Oh yes...'
 
'The answer is that he would have been a very bad doctor.'
 
'No, I might have been a very good one, but not a very happy one. It's nice when people I know who are good doctors come up and say what a good job you are doing making people laugh. It makes me feel very humble.'
 
'No it doesn't. It makes you feel very smug.'
 
********************************************
For those who are curious, here's the listing for that week's episode, "The New Office", as it appeared in that issue of RadioTimes.
 
The Goodies
Starring
Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie with Joe Melia
In which Tim, Bill and Graeme have problems with an estate agent build another office and have terrifying mechanical problems thereafter.
 
Written by Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie with Tim Brooke-Taylor
Music by Bill Oddie and Michael Gibbs
Film editor Ron Pope
Film cameraman Stewart A. Farnell
Designer John Stout
Producer Jim Franklin
 
 
4. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW
 
Hi there pop pickers and welcome to this month's music review.
 
WHO?
 
We were hoping to get another mouthful from our previous DJ Sir Loin It's Been Good To Gnaw You, but he's merrily munching away on on the fresh meaty taste of new (meow) burgers. More flavour because there's more (woof) in juicy new (neigh) burgers. Better, tastier, because they're packed full of (cheep cheep) and so before we all unload a gang heave like the one after Bill and his fellow disciples partook in t' black pudding and chip butties, it's time to cross to your dreary DJ Rick L. Wood (aka Brett Allender) and his review of "CRICKLEWOOD" by The Goodies.
 
WHERE? WHEN?
 
On the 1997 CD "Yum Yum - The Very Best Of The Goodies"and the 70's albums "The New Goodies LP" and "The Goodies Greatest Hits".
 
WHAT?
 
We've all heard the Beatles wax lyrical about Penny Lane and Strawberry Fields and all of the interesting and quirky characters who just happen to frequent them. Well this is the Goodies attempt to capture that famous Fab Four sound and while the rhythm and vocals are very respectable indeed, there's just one fatal flaw. While the otherwise nondescript Liverpudlian street and park were filled with fascinating folks who made millions for the Beatles, the Goodies' attempt to pay similar homage to their home suburb of Cricklewood strikes a bit of a snag because "nothing ever happens there". In fact no-one's going anywhere, they've got nothing to say and nothing much is happening. People work until day is done and then go home to stay, with only the accompanying commentary of the bus driver providing any relief from the tedium.
 
WHY?
 
In the "Stone Age" episode, Graeme's theory that primitive uncivilised man once existed around London was quickly taken a step further by Bill, who claimed that these people still do exist "...in Cricklewood!", and this song just might provide conclusive evidence to support his theory. It was previously suspected that people who said and did nothing and had no idea of where they were going or what they were doing were either confined to the Houses Of Parliament, attending Max Bygraves concerts or holidaying at Bognor. However it seems as though there is a whole suburb full of them in London, so it's a good thing that the Goodies set up their office there to liven things up a bit. Even Lennon and McCartney would have found it hard work making a million seller out of writing about this boring lot, but the great W.E. Oddie has at least managed another satirically humourous song, and a rather melodious one at that.
 
HOW!
 
Using the patented Black Pudding Ratings System:
 
MUSIC:                            III Goody Goody Yum Yum
SINGING/LYRICS:          III 1/2 Officially Goodie
HUMOUR:                       III Goody Goody Yum Yum
ALL TOGETHER NOW: III Goody Goody Yum Yum
 
THE BLACK PUDDING RATINGS SYSTEM
 
IIIII - Superstar.
IIII - Officially amazing.
III   - Goody goody yum yum.
II    - Fair-y punkmother.
I     - Tripe on t' pikelets.
 
**UPCOMING REVIEWS**
September: Episode Summary: "Hunting Pink"
October: Music Review: "Winter Sportsman"
 
 
5. THE END
 
As we rapidly approach the end of yet another jam-packed C&G, it's once again time to conclude proceedings with more material from the legendary British radio comedy program "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" (ISIHAC) which includes Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden as regular panelists. This month's featured round is Topical Nursery Rhymes -adaptations of some old childhood favourites to give them relevance to modern day society.
 
* Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
A Frenchman put a match to it
And now it's all aglow
 
* Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady upon a white horse
With rings on her navel and studs on her lip
Who'd have thought nipple rings would ever be hip?
 
* Old King Cole was a merry old soul
And a merry old soul was he
He called for his pipe
And he called for his bowl
And had a colonic irrigation!
 
* Simple Simon wore a Walkman going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the pieman: "What...?"
 
* Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn
You must be very supple!
 
* Georgy Porgy, pudding and pie
Went into the gents - now we all know why!
 
* Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone
But when she got there, the cupboard was bare
Because she'd bought too many lottery tickets
 
* Wee Willie Winkie runs through town
Upstairs and downstairs in his night gown
In and out of houses and along seaside piers
And when they finally catch him, he'll get ten years.
 
And now here's one final round from our very own "ISIHAC" panel at Kitten Kon, which featured Tim Brooke-Taylor as "Humph for a day" and panelists Tracey Baird, Gavin Hawkins, Alison Bean and Brett Allender. This time it's the Goodies Film Club - movies which were likely to appeal to our audience at the Goodies convention:
 
* Mixed Dances With Wolves
* The Goodyfather and its sequel Codfather 2
* Bring Me The Trandem Of Alfredo Garcia
* Shine - y Shoes
* Lost In Spacehopper
* The Sound Of Music Master
* Peter Pan's Grannies
* The sequels to Sleepless In Seattle - Clueless In Cricklewood and Bored Shitless In Bognor!
* Romancing The Scone
* For Whom The Bellamy Tolls
* Forrest Eckythump
* A Street-tart Named Desiree
* Big Bunny, I Shrunk The Kids
* James Bond in "Goodie-eye"
* The Empire Strings Back
* Return Of The Goodie with Tim as O.B.E. Wan Kenobi and Graeme as the Millenium Garden
* 2001 - A Space Oddie
 
And so ladies and gentlemen, as the giant beanstalk of time climbs rapidly up the Himalayan mountain of fate and the Timita of destiny is cried for by the Marge and Tina of eternity, we notice that it's the end of this month's C&G. Best of luck with earning your Wig Spotters badge until we return on September 12th.
 
The C&G Team.
 
********************************************
The Goodies Fan Club Clarion and Globe is copyright
The Goodies Rule - OK! 2000. All rights reserved.
Permission to reproduce this work or any section of
it, in any form must first be obtained from the
copyright holders.
 
TO UNSUBSCRIBE:
E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with UNSUBSCRIBE in the body of your message.
 
TO BECOME A POSTAL MEMBER:
Send $20 ($30 for non-Australians) to:
The Goodies Rule - OK!
PO Box 325
Chadstone VIC 3148
AUSTRALIA
All cheques and money orders must be in Australian
dollars and should be made out to "The Goodies Rule
- OK!".
 
For further information regarding this publication
please e-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> or write to the above address.
********************************************



Comments
We apologize, but you need to login to post comments. If you don't have an account, why don't you register? It's free!
 This website was created with phpWebThings 1.5.2.
© 2005 Copyright , The Goodies Rule - OK! Fan Club