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C&G 122 Jan 2006
#122 Jan 2006 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 02/01/2007

Index

» #122 Jan 2006

 
THE GOODIES CLARION AND GLOBE
 
THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK' FAN CLUB
.
Issue No. 122                   15th January 2006
 
 
TO UNSUBSCRIBE:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with UNSUBSCRIBE in the body of your message. If you are using multiple or forwarded e-mail addresses, please specify the e-mail address which you originally used when subscribing, otherwise we may not be able to remove you from the mailing list.
 
TO OBTAIN THIS NEWSLETTER IN E-MAIL TEXT FORM:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> requesting transfer to the E-mail mailing list.
.
 
CLUB WEBSITE
 
http://www.goodiesruleok.com
 
E-MAIL ADDRESSES
 
Newsletter enquiries: clarion@goodiesruleok.com
General enquiries: enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
 
POSTAL ADDRESS
 
'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 413
Croydon VIC 3136, AUSTRALIA
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
 
EDITOR
- Brett Allender <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>
 
ACE REPORTERS:
- Lisa Manekofsky
 
RIPPER REVIEWERS:
- Linda Kay (Goodies Cor!! Comics Synopsis)
- Andrew Pixley ('Broaden Your Mind' Synopsis)
 
C&G CONTRIBUTORS: I&J, Steve Gerlach
 
 
CONTENTS
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS – Club news and happenings
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings.
4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
5. GOODIES COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #46
6. BROADEN YOUR MIND SYNOPSIS –
 Episode 1/3
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
 
QUOTE: "Calm down, go and do something relaxing ... like invade Poland!"
 
(a) Which Goodie says this quote?
(b) Who is he talking to?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
 
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode: "War Babies"
 
(d) Which school are the Goodies bundled off to?
(e) How old are they at the time?
(f) What does Winston Churchill ask the Goodies to fetch him from Germany?
(g) What are the names of the two German border guards?
(h) What is the only word that Tim can say, courtesy of his teddy's voicebox?
 
The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.
 
 
2. BOFFO IDEAS
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:
 
GOODIES CONVENTION SURVEY
(Lisa Manekofsky)
 
As mentioned last month, the club is interested in organizing a follow-up to the highly successful Kitten Kon convention; we're tentatively calling it "Kitten Kon 2 - 2001 and a Bit". To get things going, Miranda Worthington has kindly created a survey which can be found at http://www.geocities.com/kittenkon/survey.html - your responses will help us to gauge interest in the proposed event. The deadline for responses to the survey has been extended to February 15, 2006.
 
We'd also welcome suggestions for fundraising; please feel free to either write them in the comments section of the survey or to email them to kittenkon@yahoo.com.au. 
 
In addition to the survey, we've created a special forum on the club website for those interested in helping with the organization of the convention. To join the Kitten Kon 2 forum send a User Message to "lisa" or send an email
which includes your Goodies Rule-OK! website login name to president@goodiesruleok.com.
 
 
3. SPOTTED!!!
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! The Goodies this month:
 
RETURN OF THE GOODIES - REVIEW
(by Lisa Manekofsky)
 
December 30th brought the premiere of "Return of the Goodies" on BBC 2 in the UK. The show was originally planned as part of a two-hour Goodies night; BBC 2 eventually decided to allot only 90 minutes for the special. Fans' hopes that the extra 30 minutes would be used to repeat an original Goodies episodes were dashed when BBC 2 instead scheduled an episode of a comedy show called "Room 101". The Goodies may have had the last laugh - according to rating information from the BARB (the Broadcasters' Audience Research Board LTD), kindly supplied to the club by Cameron Yarde Jnr, "Return Of The Goodies" was watched by 3.44 million viewers and was the third most watched show on BBC2 that week. According to the overnight figures the special garnered a 14.2% share over 90 minutes, up 50% from BBC 2's average share of 9%. At the conclusion of the special almost a million people switched to another channel rather than sticking around for "Room 101". 
 
About the show itself:
 
"Return of the Goodies" merged a specially made documentary about the Goodies along with newly recorded studio footage of Tim, Graeme, & Bill. As reported in C&G issue 120, this recording took place in October in front of an audience of about 300 Goodies fans.
 
The show starts with a feature very reminiscent of many classic Goodies episodes - a report from a BBC newsreader. In this case, instead of reporting about a giant kitten or missing lighthouse the newsreader informs us that the Millennium Dome has disappeared, uncovering a site the BBC had used as a dump for sets from classic comedies.   The scene then shifts to the interior of the Goodies office. As mentioned in the article about the October recording, the set designer did an amazing job in fashioning something very similar to the Goodies 1970's sets. A few original props and some Goodies memorabilia (such as their books and albums) have been scattered around. In addition, there are many props that reference classic episodes, such as a model Kitten Kong on a scaled down Post Office Tower, a section of beanstalk, etc. 
 
Graeme and Bill break into the office and comment that something, or someone, is missing. This is quickly rectified as Tim emerges from the loo. The others question whether he's been in there for 25 years; Tim replies defensively that it was a *very* difficult crossword. The reunited Goodies try to remember quite what they did 25 years ago, which leads in to the showing of the documentary. While the show starts with the Goodies in character the rest of the program cuts between them in the office set talking about the making of the series and sections of the documentary or classic clips that illustrate their points.
 
The documentary portion starts with an overview of "The Goodies", mentioning the number of episodes, talking about their books and records, and explaining their three characters. The special then discusses the Goodies musical career; it features many (far too short) clips of the Goodies appearing on a number of musical and variety shows in the mid 1970s. Throughout the documentary portion we see pre-filmed interviews with each of the individual Goodies as well as the following people (each name is followed by the title the person was given in their on-screen caption):
 
Ronni Ancona (comedian & writer)
Stanley Baxter (Comedy Actor)
Tony Blackburn (broadcaster & former radio 1 DJ)
John Cleese (comedy actor & writer)
Jon Culshaw (comedian)
Barry Cryer (comedy writer & performer)
Bruce Dessau (author & comedy critic, Evening Standard)
Jim Franklin (producer & director 1970-80)
Martin Freeman (actor)
Mark Gatiss (comedy actor & writer)
David Gooderson (former Footlights member 1963-4)
Rolf Harris (presenter)
Sir David Hatch (former Footlights member 1959-63)
Adam Hills (comedian)
John Howard Davies (head of comedy, bbc 1980-85)
Phill Jupitus (comedian & broadcaster)
Emma Kennedy (comedy actress & writer)
Sanjeev Kohli (comedy actor)
Steve Punt (comedy writer)
David Quantick (comedy writer)
James Rampton (comedy critic, The Independent)
Bob Spiers (director, 1977-82)
 
The next major section of the documentary discusses the Goodies origins & comedy roots. It mentions their work in Cambridge Footlights and even features a portion of Tim and Bill's appearance on "The Ed Sullivan Show" as part of the "Cambridge Circus" revue during its New York run. Some of the other pre-Goodies shows discussed are "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again", "At Last the 1948 Show", "BBC3", and "Broaden Your Mind". 
 
The special then moves on to cover "The Goodies" series including highlights from the show, famous guest stars, etc. During this segment the Goodies talk about the making of the show and include a few anecdotes that also appeared in their live Australian show from last year. I thought more of the tour material might be recycled for the television special but, happily, only a small amount was used, leaving the door open for the Goodies to do the live show in the UK if the opportunity presents itself (hint hint!)
 
During this portion of the special the Goodies are "reunited" with one of the trandems used during the making of the original series. Sharp-eyed viewers may have noticed that it didn't look like the most familiar version of the bike (which was used for most of the BBC run). I believe the bike making an appearance on this occasion was actually the blue trandem used in the LWT series. It had been repainted red for the special, although Bill Oddie joked that it was red because of all the Goodies' blood which had spilled on it during various trandem accidents.
 
"Return of the Goodies" also covered the Goodies move to LWT. It included some interesting comments from John Howard Davies (Head of BBC Comedy at the time) about his decisions not to order another series of "The Goodies" and not to repeat the show when he could have in the early 1980's. (Some feedback I read after the show aired showed that many were highly skeptical of his excuses, particularly that he didn't repeat The Goodies in the 1980s because none of the repeat time slots he had available were appropriate for it.)
 
The special concluded with a segment briefly mentioning Tim, Graeme and Bill's post-Goodies solo work, including "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" and Bill's nature programs. We're treated to the clip from "Fun at the Funeral Parlour" in which Bill (playing himself as a character in the show) complains about the lack of Goodies repeats for the show's 30th anniversary.
 
Originally the special had included a segment talking about the huge fan base in Australia and the Goodies recent live shows there. This included an interview with the fan club's founder (and Adelaide native) Alison Bean as well as a selection of fan photos from the tours and the Kitten Kon convention. Unfortunately, this segment had to be cut out when the special was reduced from two hours to 90 minutes; the producers sent a nice note of explanation to Alison, which she passed along to the club members in the club's forums. Alison is thanked in the closing credits for her contributions - besides doing the interview she also provided a lot of information and loaned her Goodies memorabilia to be used on the set and photographed for the documentary.
 
Another familiar name popping up in the closing credits is Andrew Pixley, who served as consultant for the project (many of you know Andrew as a contributor to the C&G and the club forums). I'm sure Andrew was instrumental in suggesting many of the extremely well-chosen Goodies clips that were used to illustrate the show.
 
While people overall enjoyed the special there were some complaints about time being wasted on the overuse of "coming up next" sequences. There was speculation that they were added in anticipation of the special being broadcast overseas on commercial stations. Andrew explained that this was not the case; he said "coming up next" is actually becoming a standard feature that appears every 15 minutes in non-drama shows on the BBC. The ones used in "Return of the Goodies" were purposefully created with a cheesy feel as spoofs of the UK version of "Blind Date" (I felt they had a nice 1970's feel that fit in well with the subject matter). On the topic of the special being shown overseas, it's really too early for us to have any news about that. However, the special's producers are aware of the huge fan base in Australia; we've got our fingers crossed that an Australian broadcast will be arranged. We'll pass along any news when we get it.
 
Overall I felt it was a very enjoyable show that did an excellent job in presenting the Goodies story, or at least as much as could be done in 90 minutes. It's too bad they didn't have that extra half hour to show more of the rare Goodies appearances and to include a longer interview with Jim Franklin.
 
Thanks to the excellent ratings and interest in "Return of the Goodies" the BBC have been asked about the possibility of airing repeats of the original series. In a BBC News article quoted elsewhere in this issue a BBC spokesperson said it was "too early to say" whether it would now air repeats but they "certainly wouldn't rule it out given the audience interest". We've been told that letters from individuals are given more weight than petitions or writing campaigns; fans in the UK are encouraged to write to the BBC and the Radio Times at the following addresses (which are also available in the club FAQ at http://www.goodiesruleok.com/faq.php?topic=5#faq49). Do not say you are writing as part of a letter writing campaign or at the request of a fan club. Please pass this information on to any of your friends who may be interested.
 
SUGGESTED BBC CONTACT ADDRESSES:
 
by post: BBC Information, PO Box 1922, Glasgow, G2 3WT
 
by phone: 0870 010 0222
 
CONTACT INFO FOR THE RADIO TIMES:
The Letters Editor
Radio Times
80 Wood Lane
London W12 0TT
Email: radio.times@bbc.co.uk
Tel: 0870 608 4455
Fax: 020 8433 3923
 
 
A FAN'S THOUGHTS
(Steve Gerlach - Goodies-l - 12th January
 
I had my copy shipped direct from the UK and it arrived on my doorstep last night in Australia. I watched it ASAP and really enjoyed it.
 
Sure, it was a reunion/reminiscing type show, but there was enough new Goodies humour/gags that it was an absolute delight to watch. The opening was funny, and our three heroes were in good form. While they borrowed a bit from their Aussie stage shows (which is to be expected), there was also enough new material to prove a new Goodies series could easily be written.
 
I can understand why the BBC decided to cut the audience question section from the end of the show, as it probably didn't fit in properly with the rest of the programme. The "coming soon" announcements didn't bother me in the slightest, and probably served more as editing tools than anything else. Plus if this special is ever sold to a commercial network in Oz or the US, these breaks will be necessary.
 
I thought it all moved quite smoothly and worked well. Considering there has NEVER been a Goodies documentary, this was a more than an impressive attempt. I really liked the sprinkling of opinions of other comedians and media people as well. I also have to give the Beeb congratulations for including the one LWT series of the Goodies in the special as well - as they could have ignored this completely.
 
After 25 years, The Return of the Goodies just whets the appetite for more. Here's to a repeat season for the original program in the UK, and hopefully a new season for the world as well :)
 
Well done to everyone involved!
 
 
RETURN OF THE GOODIES - MEDIA REVIEW
(I&J - Goodies-l - 5th January)
 
A so-so review from The Custard:
 
http://www.thecustard.tv/thecrumble/thecrumble_64.html#goodies
 
Return Of The Goodies, BBC2, Friday 30 December 2005
 
Did we like it?
At first there was that sense of euphoria and fun of meeting up with relatives you haven't seen for a decade, but gradually you realise why it's taken a so long to attain the motivation and strength to withstand another get together.
 
What was good about it?
* Some of the sketches still retain their comic appeal. The incessant berating of Tony Blackburn (although this was tempered when the Goodies allowed him to be in on the joke in return for playing their awful records on the radio); and the lassoing of wild Rolf Harrises in order to initiate a breeding programme in a zoo.
* The chronology of how the Goodies moved from the Cambridge Footlights (perhaps the smuggest collection of bilious humanity in the British Isles except for members of the Groucho Club), through a myriad abortive comedy shows in the 60s to the birth of The Goodies.
* One of the main reasons that the Goodies seemed to be successful was that all three were, and still are, very likable, contrasting personalities - posh Tim, boffin Graeme, and unkempt Bill - and this came across in the studio as they looked back over their careers.
* Tim Brooke-Taylor saying that he perhaps should have been part of Monty Python, but modestly adding that his writing "wasn't that good".
* Clips from At Last The 1948 Show - the Yorkshiremen engaged in a series of one-upmanship about the sorry state of their lives - and Broaden Your Mind, which seemed like a 60s version of Look Around You.
 
What was bad about it?
* Much of the humour had dated very badly. This is not a criticism of the wit of the original shows, more that the humour relied heavily on topical issues that were perplexing to a contemporary audience. For instance, it was possible to appreciate that the sketch about Captain Fishface may have been a hilarious pastiche of a Birds Eye Fishfingers advert, but without remembering the ad itself, it merely seems bizarre.
* The allusions to some conspiracy theory as to why the Goodies has never been repeated anywhere. We would surmise that, like executing French aristocrats, denying women the vote or locking 10 strangers in a house together for a TV show, it was very much of its time and today would be a risible and outmoded form of entertainment.
* The Funky Gibbon. Any period of music can be wrought to appear the worst in history if you can find those generation-defining abominations.
* The Cambridge Circus, who were essentially a bunch of Cambridge Footlights, including Tim and Bill, who performed their awful show on Broadway. It was the kind of novelty act some Americans expect to see from the top deck of a London tourist bus as common behaviour amongst the bowler-hatted, repressed Brits.
 
 
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVEN'T READ THE RADIO TIMES ...
(Lisa Manekofsky)
 
The following items appear in the Radio Times Christmas issue dated 17-30 December 2005.
 
(1) On Page 28, in a feature about the upcoming Christmas specials:
 
Goodies? Gracious me!
by Danny Scott
 
Reunited at last, the much-loved comedy team remind us what we've been missing
 
"It's about bloody time! I thought one of us was going to have to die before the Goodies were back at the BBC." Bill Oddie has got a smile on his face, but that doesn't disguise his obvious frustration. Despite being one of the BBC's most successful and fondly remembered comedy teams, the Goodies have spent almost 25 years in the TV wilderness.
 
Now that's about to change, as Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Oddie are reunited for a Christmas special. Brooke-Taylor describes it as "a beginner's guide", including a one-hour documentary, celebrity fans such as The Office's Martin Freeman and some classic clips.
 
We'll also see the famous three-seater "trandem". "But we weren't allowed to ride it because we had no insurance!" laughs Oddie.
 
Don't they mind being associated with the same roles? "Interviewers always ask, 'Would you be annoyed if I mentioned the Goodies?" says Brooke-Taylor. "Frankly, I'd be rather cross if people *didn't* mention the Goodies!"
 
Links: www.goodiesruleok.com 
 
 
(2) FROM page 202, under the Today's Choices section for Friday, 30 December:
 
Return of the Goodies
9:00pm BBC2
by Alison Graham
 
It's one of the great TV puzzles of recent decades. Why, considering the Goodies were so huge in the 1970s, have their shows not been endlessly repeated on digital and cable stations a la "Monty Python" and "Fawlty Towers"? Why did this much-loved show vanish when it should for so long have been part of our cultural fabric? (For those of you not around at the time, think of the current success of "Little Britain", then double it - "The Goodies" was *that* big).
 
This 90-minute special attempts to explain just what happened, and why. Preview tapes were not available, but the show will combine documentary footage with some of "The Goodies" best-loved moments. There'll be audience participation, too, thanks to the central conceit, whereby Graeme Garden, Bill Oddie and Tim Brooke-Taylor break into their old studio to take questions from an audience.
 
 
DAILY TELEGRAPH ARTICLE
(Lisa Manekofsky)
 
This article appeared in the London newspaper The Daily Telegraph on Monday, December 26, 2005:
 
So where have they been all these years?
 
Mystery surrounds the Goodies' 25-year absence from our TV screens. As they return for a Christmas special, the intrepid comic trio talk to Mark Lee
 
As Peter Jackson's "King Kong" rampages through the world's multiplexes en route to the top of the Empire State Building, some filmgoers (those over 30) may be reminded of one of the most iconic moments in British television comedy - the scene in which a gargantuan fluffy white kitten scales what was then called the Post Office Tower and brings it crashing down.
 
The image will be unfamiliar to many under-30s because the show from which it comes, "The Goodies", ended its run on the BBC a quarter of a century ago and, for reasons that have never been revealed, none of the 70-plus episodes has ever been repeated. "Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em", "The Good Life", "Dad's Army" and plenty of other '70s hits have been brought back periodically, but not "The Goodies", which was just as funny and far more visually inventive.
 
The show's creators and stars, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie, have jokingly speculated that, whenever a new BBC channel controller is appointed, he or she has to sign an agreement never to schedule "The Goodies". Now, however, the Beeb is finally making amends with a Christmas special, which reunites the intrepid trio to reminisce about the Goodie old days in front of a studio audience.
 
The story of how the show grew out of the '60s satire boom is covered; plus there's a scattering of clips, and breathless encomiums from celebrity fans, including Martin Freeman from "The Office" and impressionists Ronni Ancona and Jon Culshaw.
 
Publicity for the special suggested that it would address the question of why the Goodies were never allowed back on to our screens, but, says Garden, "It doesn't really come up with an answer. We still don't know the truth."
 
It is possible that "The Goodies" never quite achieved the kudos and critical acclaim it might otherwise have had because it coincided with the groundbreaking comic insanity of "Monty Python's Flying Circus"; the comparisons were endless and rarely favourable. Did this ever bother the trio, I ask, especially bearing in mind that "The Goodies" trounced "Python" in the ratings?
 
"As all the Pythons were friends, we were happy to be different, having come from the same school of comedy," says Brooke-Taylor. "Their 'Life of Brian' is one of the best things ever, and I would love to have been a part of that."
 
"We were only annoyed if we were pigeonholed as a kids' programme: the shows originally went out after 10pm."
 
"Python had a very strong cult following," adds Garden. "Its fans defined themselves by the show, and liked to 'own' it. 'The Goodies' had more of a family appeal, and therefore there was no frisson of naughtiness in being a Goodies fan. It was surprisingly mainstream for a silly comedy show."
 
"We all came from the same stable, and worked together on various TV and radio shows, all doing much the same kind of comedy. 'The Goodies' went off with the mad, half-hour, complete storyline. The Pythons recruited Terry Gilliam, who more than anyone gave 'Python' its trademark look and flavour."
 
Despite the adulation heaped on 'Python', it's arguable that it didn't have as great an influence on subsequent TV comedy as 'The Goodies'. "We used to say that 'Last of the Summer Wine' was the old Goodies, and 'The Young Ones' were the young Goodies," says Garden. "I don't know how much influence we actually had on them, but I think we did influence other shows, such as "The League of Gentlemen", and more recently "The Mighty Boosh".
 
"Maybe you can see a Goodies influence in other shows that have followed the idea of sitcoms with bizarre and elaborate plot-lines. Oddly enough, I'm not sure how many shows were really influenced by 'Python' - there isn't much around that could really be called 'Pythonesque'."
 
The rather baggy premise for "The Goodies" was that Tim, Graeme and Bill were, respectively, "a patriot, a boffin and an anarchist", who had set up an agency with the motto, "We do anything, anywhere, any time". (Such are the persuasive powers of television that a lot of viewers thought the three of them lived together in real life.)
 
But the key to the show's success was the extensive use of special effects, which involved such unlikely plot devices as an out-of-control giant beanstalk, a lighthouse going into orbit, and innumerable encounters with misbehaving animals.
 
The most memorable prop was the "trandem", a bicycle made for three on which Tim, Graeme and Bill sped to the scene of the emergency each week. "It was a death machine - well, very nearly - and it was hell to ride," recalls Brooke-Taylor. "Filming could be very painful. It's bad enough falling over, which we often did, but falling over eight times for the same shot was particularly so."
 
Garden, too, cringes at the memory of the trandem. "It was a monster. It was hard to ride, uncomfortable and, frankly, dangerous. When we were recording the special this year, they had the bike in the studio, but warned us not to try to ride it - they couldn't get insurance for us."
 
Although "The Goodies" was fun to make, it was, says Garden, hard work. "A lot of time went into writing and planning the shooting so that our budget was well spent. The special effects were sometimes uncomfortable, but never too demanding. The ordinary effects, like getting wet and falling over, were more unpleasant."
 
"I'm not sure we'd be allowed to do the shows today, with all the health and safety regulations. When I recently signed up to do a voice on the animated series "Bromwell High", I was sent a risk assessment form."
 
Despite all the silliness, the Goodies were also subversive, and occasionally controversial. They upset anti-naughtiness campaigner Mary Whitehouse, and comments about apartheid-era South Africa meant they weren't shown there.
 
"Because we needed a plot for each show, and the obvious place to look for a plot was in the headlines, we became quite satirical," says Garden. "You can probably trace the social history of the '70s by watching "The Goodies" - like reading old copies of "Punch".
 
"Needless to say, our attitude was anti-establishment and generally irresponsible. We got into trouble for sending up South Africa, and the show was held back by the BBC, who claimed we were being unfair to the South African police."
 
Some of the more risqué jokes were excised by the Australian network ABC. However, unlike this country, Australia has remained loyal to the Goodies, and they are still hugely popular there. In March this year, all three of them toured Down Under, and were seen on stage by 25,000 fans. Brooke-Taylor and Garden have just completed a further series of live appearances. 
 
"The shows were sending up the Establishment, which all good Aussies love to do - as we do," says Brooke-Taylor. "Our stage audiences were mostly in their thirties, very bright, and they made this old man feel very good indeed. And they were grateful that we'd come. I've always liked Australians, but now I truly love them."
 
When they aren't involved in antipodean jaunts, Brooke-Taylor and Garden are best-known for their work on Radio 4's sublimely funny - and astonishingly rude - "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue", which was devised by Garden 30 years ago.
 
Oddie, meanwhile, has been presenting a serious challenge to veteran David Attenborough as the face of BBC wildlife programming. In 2003, he "had to accept an OBE," as he puts it, for his work in conservation.
 
The Christmas special has given the opportunity to look back at themselves as young men. How did that feel?
 
"Not as strange as you might think," says Garden. "I think the image I have of me inside my head is probably closer to what I looked like 30 years ago than the way I look now. The real shock is seeing myself on screen in more recent shows. Who is that old man in 'Holby City'?"
 
[The following appears in a sidebox accompanying the article]
 
The Goodie Guys
 
* Tim Brooke-Taylor was born in Buxton in 1940, Bill Oddie in Rochdale in 1941, and Graeme Garden in Aberdeen in 1943.
 
* Brooke-Taylor (Economics and Law) and Oddie (English) met at Cambridge in 1960. Garden (Medicine) arrived a year later. They all joined the Footlights.
 
* The first episode of "The Goodies" was broadcast on BBC2 at 10pm on Sunday, Nov 8, 1970. At its peak, the show attracted more than 15 million viewers.
 
* In 1975, a viewer died laughing during an episode entitled "Kung Fu Kapers!" His widow said she was grateful to the trio for making his last moments so happy.
 
* The Goodies spent much of 1975 in the singles charts with a string of hits, including "Funky Gibbon", which reached number four.
 
* Steven Spielberg once expressed an interest in working with the Goodies, but it never happened. "The comedy might have collapsed under the weight of the budget," says Garden, though they could have made a good fit: "'Indiana Jones' - that was kind of a Goodies plot."
 
 
BRING BACK THE GOODIES ....
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 6th January)
 
Goodies - Repeats
 
Goodies founder Graeme Garden said today he was "delighted" that the trio's nostalgia show Return of the Goodies attracted 3.3 million viewers.
 
BBC Two's show on December 30 December show gained "a pretty respectable viewing figure for a nostalgia clip show", he said.
 
But Garden said he would not pressure the BBC to repeat the original series.
 
"We've been doing that for 25 years without success. Perhaps now it's time for others to lead a campaign."
 
Garden said in a recent interview on BBC Breakfast that the show's were not repeated because it was disliked by a succession of BBC channel controllers. He also ruled out remaking the series because current health and safety would prohibit some of the stunts featured in the shows.
 
A BBC Two spokeswoman said it was "too early to say" whether it would now repeat past episodes of The Goodies.
 
"But we certainly wouldn't rule it out given the audience interest," she said.
 
Garden said: "To put it in perspective I suppose it's worth noting that the wonderfully funny sitcom The Thick Of It only got about half that figure."
 
The surreal comedy series ran from 1970 until 1981 on the BBC. First broadcast in 1970, surreal comedy series The Goodies starred Garden, Bill Oddie and Tim Brooke-Taylor.
 
Garden said the trio toured Australia last year, where The Goodies was regularly repeated on TV.
 
"We have a great fan base over there, many of them now 30ish, with kids of their own, who they are now educating with the Goodies DVDs," he said.
 
 
11 THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT THE GOODIES
(Lisa Manekofsky)
 
From BBC Publicity Materials for the second half of December 2005:
 
Comedy Gold
 
The Goodies Christmas Special BBC TWO
 
It's official. After taking a 25-year sabbatical, Bill Oddie, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden are back on our screens once again to remind the nation just why they are considered comedy gold. As their leave of absence has been quite a considerable one, perhaps a refresher course in just who they are, what they were about and why they have left such a lasting legacy for the world of comedy is in order. So, here are...11 things you may not know about The Goodies.
 
1. Footlight frolics:
Tim Brooke-Taylor, Bill Oddie and Graeme Garden met at Cambridge University. Tim - born in Buxton in 1940 - was reading economics and politics. Bill - born in Rochdale in 1941 - studied English. They both arrived in 1960 and joined the world famous Cambridge University Footlights Club. Tim became president at the time of the 1963 revue, A Clump Of Plinths, which moved to London as Cambridge Circus and then went on to tour New Zealand and America. Reading medicine, Graeme - born in Aberdeen in 1943 - was a year behind Tim and Bill; he did not appear in Cambridge Circus but became president after Tim for the 1964 revue. After Cambridge Circus made an appearance on BBC Radio, it evolved into the Radio sketch show I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again, which ran from 1964 to 1973 and regularly featured appearances and material written by Tim, Graeme and Bill.
 
2.And now for something completely different:
Tim, Bill and Graeme came from the same early Sixties "Oxbridge Mafia" that gave the world Monty Python's Flying Circus. John Cleese and Graham Chapman starred alongside Tim in the groundbreaking 1967 TV sketch series At Last The 1948 Show, while Tim and Graeme's Broaden Your Mind for BBC Two saw supporting appearances by Terry Jones and Michael Palin, and Eric Idle contributed material to I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again, alongside Graeme.
 
3. First night:
The first episode of The Goodies was broadcast on BBC Two at 10pm on Sunday 8 November 1970 and saw the trio employed to discover who was stealing the beef from the Beefeaters at the Tower of London as part of a dastardly plot to remove the Crown Jewels. Subsequent famous adventures featured deadly black puddings wielded in the Lancastrian martial art of Ecky Thump, installing a puppet government with Sooty as the Prime Minister (which saw them pursued by a giant Dougal and Zebedee), causing an invasion of super-intelligent rabbits in the style of A Clockwork Orange, prospecting for clotted cream in the Wild West of Cornwall ... and breeding a giant kitten which demolished the Post Office Tower.
 
4. Peak time:
At its peak, repeats of The Goodies on BBC One attracted audiences of over 15m. On BBC Two, an episode could draw in over 12m.
 
5. 69 plus:
From 1970 to 1982, the trio made 70 episodes of their series, transferring from the BBC to London Weekend Television (part of the ITV network) in 1981 for their final season. And that wasn't including an additional six specials (including the legendary The Goodies And The Beanstalk for Christmas 1973), 13 mini-adventures for Engelbert With The Young Generation and a Yuletide guest spot on 1972's Christmas Night With The Stars, which was seen by almost 19m people.
 
6. Fatally funny:
The episode Kung Fu Kapers! in 1975 was so funny that a man died laughing from it; in the press, his widow thanked the trio for making his final minutes so happy.
 
7. Controversial:
The Goodies often had run-ins with the BBC over their choice of topics: an episode about The Royal Family had to be postponed because of a topical connotation, a script exposing the craze of punk rock had to be reworked into something extreme, and a 1975 show condemning the apartheid system in place in South Africa had to be partially re-recorded before the Corporation would allow it to be transmitted. After years of goading Mrs Mary Whitehouse - the founder of the National Viewers' and Listeners' Association - the trio finally upset the self-appointed media watchdog with a shot of an iron-on carrot transfer on Tim's underpants. Many of the Goodies' more extreme jokes and images were censored by the ABC network when the show appeared in Australia.
 
8.And as themselves...:
Michael Aspel, Patrick Moore, Eddie Waring, Magnus Magnusson, Tony Blackburn, Michael Barratt, Sue Lawley, Terry Wogan, McDonald Hobley, Mary Malcolm, Raymond Baxter, David Dimbleby and Wayne Sleep all featured in the show as themselves. Often these guests came off quite badly: Michael Aspel was crushed by a giant kitten, Patrick Moore was attacked while dressed as a giant rabbit and Tony Blackburn was gunned down by a hunter after being released back into the wild.
 
9.Top of the pops:
The trio enjoyed five chart hits within the space of a year, starting with the glam rock The Inbetweenies in December 1974, the Northern Soul spoof Black Pudding Bertha in June 1975, the infant romance Nappy Love in September 1975 and the festive Make A Daft Noise For Christmas in December 1975. However, their greatest pop success was Funky Gibbon, which reached No. 4 in the charts in March 1975.
 
10. Global fans:
There is still a thriving fan base for The Goodies, most notably in Australia where the series was almost continually on air with one network or another since 1975. The internet home for devotees can be found at "The Goodies Rule OK" (www.goodiesruleok.com), the site for the fan club established in November 1995. A monthly newsletter, The Goodies Fan Club Clarion And Globe (named after the newspaper run by the Goodies in a 1975 episode), keeps 3,500 members across the world up to date with the trio's latest projects and news of fresh merchandise and appearances. In April 2000, over 300 fans attended the "Kitten Kon" event in Melbourne which was attended by Tim Brooke-Taylor and raised thousands of dollars for the Royal Melbourne Children's Hospital. The trio performed a sell-out tour of Australia in March/April 2005, and Tim and Graeme have just completed a further live show Down Under.
 
 
11. Famous fans:
Mike Myers (Austin Powers),Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, Martin Freeman (The Office) and Mark Gatiss (The League Of Gentlemen) have all indicated their enjoyment of this highly influential series. In 1979, the Goodies received a phone call from the offices of Steven Spielberg who had seen some episodes of their show and was interested in discussing a movie project with the trio. It was, sadly, never made.
 
 
4. 2001 AND A BIT
 
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Those of you seeking radio & tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-L mailing list (more details available on the club website),as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
 
BILL SPOTTINGS
 
* A "Birding With Bill Oddie" marathon crops up on Friday, 23 Dec. UKTV Documentary is scheduled to air the repeats from 9:00-18:00 while UKTV Documentary Plus 1 will show them an hour later (from 10:00-19:00). Please check your local listings to verify this info.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd December)
 
 
* "Top 50 Greatest Celebrity Animals" with Bill is being repeated by Sky One on Saturday, 24 December at 22:00. Sky Two will also show it on Sunday 25 December at 18:00 and again on Friday, 30 December at 15:00.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd December)
 
 
* "Best of Springwatch with Bill Oddie" will be shown on BBC 2 on Tuesday, 27 December from 18:00-19:30.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd December)
 
 
* "Animal Hospital - The Big Story" with Bill is being repeated on BBC Prime at 16:00 daily from Tuesday, 27 December through Friday, 30 December. I don't know if Bill will appear in all the episodes.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd December)
 
 
* "Bill Oddie's How to Watch Wildlife" is being repeated by BBC 2 on various days and times. Please check your local listings.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd December)
 
 
* "Bill Oddie in Tiger Country" is being repeated by BBC 1 on Monday, 9
January at 2:20-3:00.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 30th December)
 
 
* An article appears at: http://iccoventry.icnetwork.co.uk/whatson/entertainments/tm_objectid=16571868&method=full&siteid=50003&headline=i-can-t-wait-to-meet-the-jungle-spiders-----name_page.html in which a woman talks about winning a prize which will include doing a bird survey with Bill in the Costa Rican rainforest.
 
Here's a cut & paste of the article:
 
I can't wait to meet the jungle spiders...
Jan 11 2006
By Carole Levitt
 
CHARITY supporter Jennifer Smith is looking forward to the experience of a lifetime helping TV presenter Bill Oddie to carry out bird surveys in the Costa Rican rainforest - all for £1.
Jennifer, aged 29, of Lower Quinton, near Stratford, took part in one of the Bid a Quid competitions presented by Terry Wogan on BBC TV as part of the Great Big Bid for Children in Need. All correct answers went into a draw and her name came out of the hat.
The prize is for four people, spending two weeks helping with volunteer projects at a bio-environmental station run by the Global Vision International charity. The area is home to a rich diversity of wildlife, including green sea turtles, birds, monkeys and frogs.
Jennifer, a human resources officer in Stratford, was attracted to the competition because of her love of wildlife - with one notable exception. She is absolutely petrified of spiders.
But since learning about her win, and finding out that the rainforest station has a resident tarantula, she decided she must confront her fear before making the trip next month.
 She said: "I went to Stratford Butterfly Farm and explained my problem. A very nice man called Richard got out one of their tarantulas and talked to me about it.
"For about half an hour I hid behind my neighbour, Alan Collins, who had gone with me, and just cried. But eventually I did manage to hold the spider for about a minute."
Alan is one of those going with Jennifer on the prize trip, along with her sister Helen Smith and friend Tracy Keyte, a fellow member of Speares Rowing Club at Stratford. Their rowing successes could come in handy, as the GVI station is accessible only by motorised boat or canoe.
Jennifer said: "I'm the cox - so I just shout at everyone."
Her past support for charities include selling badges for the RSPB and raising more than £200 for breast cancer research by taking part in last year's Race For Life.
But the trip to Costa Rica will be the first time she has done any volunteer work, and the first time she has been to the Americas.
Global Vision International works with various organisations on conservation and education projects supporting local communities. In Costa Rica, Jennifer and her friends will live in wooden dormitory-style buildings with no hot water and helping with surveys assessing the impact of tourism on wildlife and teaching English to local children and adults. In the second week of their stay, Bill Oddie will be there for bird surveys. "It's going to be a life-changing experience. I will learn a lot about myself," said Jennifer, who is trying to learn some Spanish. "I'm so looking forward to seeing all the wildlife, particularly the monkeys and frogs - which include strawberry poison-arrow frogs.
"It will be fantastic to be doing something valuable, rather than just lazing about on a holiday."
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 12th January)
 
 
* Bill Oddie is scheduled to appear on "Today with Des and Mel" an ITV1 chat show, on Thursday 19 January. The show airs from 13:30 to 14:30.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 12th January)
 
 
* A new series of "Bill Oddie's How to Watch Wildlife" begins this evening,
Tues, 17 Jan, on BBC 2 at 20:00.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 17th January)
 
 
GRAEME SPOTTINGS
 
* Graeme and Tim are scheduled to call in to Fred MacAuley's Radio Scotland radio show this Monday morning. The show, MacAuley and Co., airs from 9:30 - 11:00am and can be heard online at http://www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/radioscotland/view/show.shtml?macaulayandco .
I believe it will be available via Listen Again after the broadcast. Some of you may recognize Fred's name as he has appeared with Tim & Graeme in "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue".
Originally only Graeme was scheduled to appear, so as of this posting the website still reads, "Goodie, Graeme Garden chats about the campaign to re run classic episodes of the 70's comedy. Fred and Alison offer PR advice on how to re-launch the show for the 21st century."
The webpage lists a call-in number ("Call free on 0500 92 95 00 or Text 80295") so perhaps there will be an opportunity for fans to call in and register their support.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 8th January)
 
TIM SPOTTINGS
 
* Repeats of "Golf Clubs with Tim Brooke-Taylor" are being shown at various times on Discovery Real Time Extra (consult your local listings).
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd December)
 
 
* Tim's appearance in "Shooting Stars" is being repeated on Thurs, 5 January by UKTV Gold 02:40 and by UKTV Gold Plus 1 at 3:40.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 30th December)
 
 
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
 
* Part 2 of "Sue Perkin's Christmas Comedy Stocking" will be broadcast on BBC 7 on 24 December. Its Goodies-related contents will be "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" (their 1968 panto "Dick Whittington and his Wonderful At", with all three Goodies) as well as "Hamish and Dougal's Hogmanay Special" (in which both Graeme and Tim appear). The show will air several times throughout the day. It can be heard online at www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7 and will be available for six days after broadcast from BBC 7's Listen Again service.
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd December)
 
 
* BBC Radio 4 is airing a new series of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" on Mondays at 18:30; each episode is then repeated the following Sunday. They are also available on Radio 4's Listen Again service for a week after the initial Monday broadcast. The shows can be heard worldwide via the internet at www.bbc.co.uk/radio4 .
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd December)
 
 
* The ISIHAC spin-off special "In Search Of Mornington Crescent" will air on BBC Radio 4 on Christmas Eve (Saturday, 24 December) from 11.00-11.30am. It will be repeated on Monday, 2nd January at 15:00. The show can be heard online at www.bbc.co.uk/radio4
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd December)
 
 
* BBC 7 airs old episodes of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" (with Tim and Graeme) and "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" (with all three Goodies) on Mondays; they are available via Listen Again for six days after broadcast. The shows can be heard worldwide via the internet from www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7
(Lisa Manekofsky - Goodies-l - 22nd December)
 
 
5. COR!! COMICS SYNOPSIS #46
(by Linda Kay)
 
Issue 181
17th November, 1973 No. 69
 
Cover banner: "Goody-Goody! TV Stars "The Goodies" Appear Inside!"
 
The Goodies spoofed the medical world many times on their television program, even playing doctors and running a hospital in one episode. In this month's Cor!! comic we'll be reviewing their take on another kind of patient as the Goodies tend to some sad little trees and hopefully they won't end up looking like saps!   (Just putting you in the mood for what's to come!)
 
Header: WILL THINGS TURN OUT "OAK-AY" WHEN THE GOODIES BECOME TREE SURGEONS?
 
We find the Goodies in a man's garden as he's pointing to three very sorry-looking small trees and explaining his problem.
 
MAN: There are the young trees I told you about, Goodies! I planted them last year, but they don't look very well.
 
GRAEME: We'll examine them for you!
 
The Goodies don stethoscopes and each one listens to one of the pathetic, thin trees.
 
TIM: H'MM!
 
BILL: AHA!
 
GRAEME: AH, YES!
 
The Goodies confer with one another about the situation.
 
GRAEME: It's my opinion that there's nothing wrong with the patients generally! They just need cheering up!
 
TIM: I agree! We'll tell them some jokes!
 
They put on straw hats and Graeme holds a cane as they break into some old vaudeville schtick.
 
BILL: Heard about the tree who was an actor - and took a *bough! Tee hee!*
 
GRAEME: Then there was the crooked tree who turned over a new *leaf! Ho, ho!*
 
TIM: And the musical tree . . . Johann Sebastin *Bark! Ha, ha!*
 
One of the trees responds with a wheezing RASP! The Goodies stand looking at it in surprise.
 
BILL: Are they giving us the bird?
 
TIM: No, it's just the wind whistling through their branches!
 
Graeme runs to fetch a shovel.
 
TIM: What they need is a holiday!
 
BILL: B-but trees can't go on holiday!
 
GRAEME: Oh, yes they can!
 
After uprooting the trees and replanting them into pots the Goodies take them on their trandem away from the city. Bill's tree, as well as Graeme, is hitting Bill full in the face as they ride.
 
GRAEME: We'll take them for a spin in the country ... get them away from all the city grime!
 
After riding for some time the Goodies need a break and lean the bike with the trees sitting on it against a tall hedge.
 
GRAEME: *Phew!* Time for a breather!
 
The Goodies are resting on the curb nearby when Tim spots someone trimming the hedge fron the opposite side with a power hedge cutter, the blade of which is heading right for the helpless trees!
 
TIM: *Eek!* Watch out for that hedge cutter!
 
The Goodies rush over and pluck the trees from their trandem just in the nick of time.
 
TIM: *Wow!* That was a close shave!
 
The trees are looking more wilted than ever.
 
BILL: *Ooer,* that fright seems to have made the trees even more seedy!
 
They carry the pathetic saplings into what looks like an empty field. They don't seem to hear the soft *RUMBLE* coming from behind a fence.
 
GRAEME: We'll let them stand in this field and get lots of fresh air!
 
Suddenly a bulldozer appears out of nowhere ... the Goodies have missed a rather large sign which reads "This valuable marsh acquired for the erection of 14,500 plastic bijou bungalows - From 175,000.50 pounds + V.A.T. - Gazump & Grabacre, Ltd."
 
GOODIES: WHASSAT?
 
CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Strange! I thought I'd cleared this area!
 
The Goodies grab the trees and take off running as the bulldozer bears down on them.
 
TIM: Help! We've boobed - this must be building land!
 
GRAEME: *Gulp!* Don't let that bulldozer catch us napping!
 
The bulldozer manages to scoop the Goodies up and over a stone wall. A sign in front of the wall clearly reads "Private - Keep Out."
 
The Goodies lay on the ground, looking defeated and afraid to see how the trees have fared through such rough treatment.
 
GRAEME: I can't bear to look!
 
However they're surprised to see the potted trees have landed next to a large tree ... all three are now looking very straight and healthy.
 
BILL: Hey! Look at that!
 
LATER ...
 
The Goodies return the trees to their yard and proudly show the perky saplings to their owner.
 
GRAEME: Yes, all the young trees wanted was a short visit to their *MUM* to see how she was!
 
BILL: They'll be all right now!
 
MAN: TREEMENDOUS!
 
Sign-Off Line: Our TV Chuckle Champs Return For More Fun Next Week!
 
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
 
II - Fair-y punkmother.
 
Unfortunately this comic doesn't do much better than the last one we reviewed. While the idea is cute and the artwork is more than adequate it just falls short of being completely satisfying. Basically it comes out as a reason to crack a lot of tree puns. While the temptation to do this is terrible (see my own introduction to this review!) the comic could have used a little more.
 
Sorely missing are extra background jokes in the artwork. A sticker on the back of one car reads "Another ... " (whatever that means) and there is the construction company's sign (the phone number for Gazump & Grabacre is 006 7/8-402 9-2460788) plus a few ducks are crossing the field as the bulldozer comes through but that's about it.
 
The bottom line is that trees don't do much, so the interaction is all on the part of the Goodies, but it isn't enough. Basing a whole comic around trying to cheer up trees is a bit flimsy, although one has the admit that for kids the ending is pretty cute. All in all it would have been nice to see the artist and writer come up with just a little more to fill this strip out and make it work a little better.
 
To view these strips online, you can visit this page:
http://members.aol.com/corcomics
 
We'll post the currently reviewed issue plus the two previous issues for latecomers.
 
 
6. 'BROADEN YOUR MIND' SYNOPSIS
 
"BROADEN YOUR MIND" - SERIES 1 PROGRAMME 3
(c) Andrew Pixley 2005
 
INTRODUCTION: Before the Goodies set up their office in 1970, the working title for the series was originally "Narrow Your Mind" since the new programme was proposed as a spin-off from "Broaden Your Mind", a BBC2 sketch show starring Tim and Graeme with songs from Bill which had run in 1968 and 1969. Having looked at the first two shows, now let's move to the third broadcast as we Broaden Your Mind ...
 
        "Do you know how many sheep it takes to make an average size pullover?" In fact, five sheep are busily knitting the item in question.
        "Did you know that Marconi discovered the wireless completely by accident?" Marconi is using a sewing machine when an announcer's voice (Tim) suddenly says "This is the BBC Home Service. Here is the News. The wireless has just been invented."
        "Do you know the mating call of the African Hippopotomus?" Over the film of some hippos comes the voice: "Want a good time dearie?"
        "Well now's your chance to find out as you Broaden Your Mind"
        Graeme and Tim welcome the viewers to their Encyclopedia of the Air in which they will cover all manner of subjects, as Tim falls over from the modern collapsible chair. Starting with science, they look at the new plastic Zebadite, named after the scientist Sir Humphrey Zebadite-Mee, which is indestructible as Tim illustrates by hitting a Zebedite milk jug with a hammer - an end to messy broken milk jugs the morning after parties. However, Tim still manages to snap the handle off.
Graeme turns to a machine which can reverse the sequence of time if a lever on it is pressed. The machine makes a strange noise, and Tim and Graeme start saying their words in reverse, and the handle reattaches itself to the jug.
        THE LAW: A photo of the Old Bailey fades to an expert (Graeme) who considers what makes people turn to crime. Is it violence on television?
        A couple are watching television when the husband suddenly goes to get an axe and returns to smash the set.
        What is the best thing to do if you're at home when you hear burglars in the house?
        A couple (Jo Kendall and Tim) are woken by burglars; their immediate reaction is to hide under the sheets. The husband is scared and does not want to go downstairs - he barely investigates at all, but his wife insists that he does to shout something at them. He meekly calls, "Hello burglars, I'm just going to the bathroom".
Summoning courage, in a loud voice, Tim says that they are being visited by Nigel, Tony and Tarzan who are visiting from university, and that they had better not be stealing the cups he won for boxing. The couple are still tempted to just hide under the sheets. The wife understands her husband's tactics and talks in a loud voice about their dog - which panics the husband at first as he is scared of dogs. "Are you there Spot?" he asks at first, changing it to "Are you there Black Havoc?" and ordering the non-existent canine not to kill any more burglars or eat any more scissors. The couple then talk about their guns which they claim to have a collection of. Finally the burglar (Nick McArdle) enters. The couple scream "Burglar!" whereupon the terrified intruder hides under the sheets in their bed.
        SOCIOLOGY: The Scots expert (Nick) wonders what makes a gentleman - apart of course from a gentlewoman? Is it schooling? A working class man (Graeme) says he would rather send his son to a good Tech where he can learn a trade rather than Eton. "For one thing he wouldn't enjoy it there. I know I didn't." The expert says that a gentleman knows a gentleman, even if they've never met before.
        Two rather gung-ho ex-army types meet. The first (Graeme), who is out with his wife (Jo) thinks the other (Tim) is Porky Blathertrap. He isn't. Tim thinks Graeme is "Jampot", but he is wrong too. They talk like old friends, reminiscing about times they never spent together in the army with old colleagues that the other doesn't know. "I always say, started the first war single, finished it married. Started the second war married, finished it divorced," says the first, "Don't know why, it's not true." The first man introduces his wife Elspeth, who is really called Angelica. The second must dash to get to the club to see Froggy, Jingo, Chooper, Beery and Fats. After he has gone, the first man's wife asks "Who was that darling" to which her husband replies "I've no idea, but I got his wallet"
        SCIENCE: In their study, the viewers meet Professor Frederick Pottermore (Tim) and "Shanghai Lil" (Graeme) ... Teddy wonders why Freddy has introduced him as "Shanghai Lil", which was the name of the film with primitive naked tribal dancers which Freddy has been trying to recall "Wollabalumba!" They were measuring the speed of sound using a megaphone; Freddy calls "Hello Teddy" and Teddy checks his watch, estimating the result as half past six. Teddy says they are going to talk about nuclear physics, but Freddy's mind is on the tribal dancers still. They study a large uranium atom ("It's a bit big isn't it Teddy?" "Surprised me too Freddy!"). When they feel that bringing the atoms together is dangerous, Freddy suggests a subject like History as it's safer. "It's not you know Freddy," points out Teddy, "Most of the people in History are dead." They go back to nuclear physics to act out in dramatic form the splitting of the atom. Freddy will be an atom and Teddy will be a high speed electron. "Not what I call high speed Teddy," says Freddy, who then runs away from his doddering colleague rather than be split. It's more like a tribal dance, as he points out. There is an explosion and another Freddy appears, followed by another Teddy. "Wollabalumba!"
        Graeme and Tim welcome the viewers back. Graeme has a letter from Mr Robinson of Doncaster who has difficulty remembering all the facts they cram into the programme. He suggests tying a knot in his handkerchief, but has forgotten to bring one with him. Alternatively, he suggests tying a bit of string around his finger - like the one which he already has and which was meant to remind him of something he has forgotten. When he unties the string, his finger falls off. Reminded by the bit of string around his finger, Tim announces the next subject as economics, which he almost forgets. Today they will look at the British Businessman and his proud "British Made" label.
        BRITISH MADE: A film narrator (Graeme) focuses on businessmen waiting on a railway platform and decides to see how the five million British Businessmen in this country are made in a little factory in Sussex. The raw materials have been left to mature for years in vats marked with the vintage ("1967/68") and then assembled by Mr Chippenwood, a master craftsman who carefully selects the specimens in the workshop vaults. The apprentice, young Nobby, takes it for the first stage of preparation which uses the mould and coated with a mixture, the composition of which has been a secret since the days of Ethelred the Unready. Three hours later, the mould is opened. The next stop is the design department where Mrs Murial Beavis, an expert of 20 years standing, fits moustaches and flings the unsuitable ones into a bucket of rejects. The businessman is starting to take shape as a result of hand-crafting, as the craftsman who fits the bowlers and brollies says that he has been working at the factory man and woman for 150 years. Nowadays it is all conveyor belts and machines, but when he started out it was just the same. To rigourously test the craftsmanship, a businessman has been placed on a railway line and set off at a fixed speed with a special ingredient: a cup of tea. He sets off, slow at first but soon getting into his stride. Only after 20,000 miles does he show signs of wear and tear. However, in comparison a Japanese businessman, with "Made in Japan" on his back, is still going strong ...
        HISTORY: An expert (Jo) sets the scene as 1594 and the birth of English drama, although may people are still unsure about William Shakespeare. Did he exist? Was he Francis Bacon? Did he just call himself William Shakespeare? Was he some other William Shakespeare? As there is no answer to this, they will instead look at the tradition music hall tradition which it began.
        A barker [Nick] introduces 'High Jinks of 1586', those two matchless maestros of maliferous mirth, Jot and Tittle (Tim and Graeme), two Elizabethan men who do music hall gags.
TITTLE: Speaking while-of my mother in law, my mother-in-law ladies and gentlemen, my mother-in-law has just sailed with Drake to the West Indies.
JOT: Jamaica?
TITTLE: No, he took her as ballast.
There is a "Tapster, tapster, there's a fish in me broth" joke, to which the answer is "That's no fish sire, that's your codpiece". The duo finish with a "lute song".
        INSTITUTIONS: An expert (Nick) introduces a feature on the church: in Britain today, how powerful are the clergy?
        One clergy is shown lifting some weights while another is punching a punch ball.
        But congregations are dropping off, and a new more dynamic approach is called for.
        An old man, George (Tim) and his wife Emerald (Jo) answer the door to the vicar (Graeme) who enters sternly; he has a black patch over one eye, wears breeches and carries a whip. The vicar says that the couple weren't at matins that morning and isn't interested in their excuses. The couple explain that they bought tickets for the best pews in the house, but this isn't enough for the vicar. He wants them to get married again, although he has already married them four times. The vicars needs the money and has a search warrant. He wants to know why they were talking about the new curate who has moved into the vicarage: "What's wrong with her?" The angry vicar tells the terrified couple that he may have to arrange a "little visit ... from the verger". "Not the verger," says the old man, "I've still got the scars vicar". The vicar says he will let them off this time, but if it happens again Mrs Figgis will show them her slides of the holy land. George now stands up to the vicar and reveals his secret by saying "Shazam". He is transformed into SuperBishop!
        Tim says it's now the audience's turn. Graeme introduces a mathematical problem.
        A businessman called John (Tim) is having a bath. The volume of the bath is 36 cubic feet. The volume of the water is 20 cubic feet. The volume of John is 6 cubic feet. So what causes the water to overflow? The answer is probably the girl in the bath with him.
        Tim now introduces "True or False?" and shows a picture of Raquel Welch. Graeme says the answers should be sent on a postcard to: "3W88768/A2/0@ Broaden Your Mind etc. etc." Tim says the prize for the first correct entry is £20,000. Graeme hands over an entry, but Tim reveals his own entry and says he is just too late ...
 
Helping you to Broaden Your Mind were
Tim Brooke-Taylor
Graeme Garden
Jo Kendall
Nick McArdle
Michael Greenwood
Devised and written by Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor
Additional material by Simon Brett, Barry Cryer, John Law, Bill Oddie, C. Stuart-Clark
Musical Director: Dave Lee
Lighting: Howard T King
Designer: Colin Piggott
Director: Roger Race
Produced by Sydney Lotterby
 
BACKGROUND NOTES: With the second recording dropped back down the series, this third programme broadcast was actually the fourth to be made. Graeme and Tim wrote the bulk of the script as usual. In the Sociology section, the piece with Graeme as a working class father discussing Eton had recently appeared on "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again", on the same show as the sketch where two ex-army types met each other
(Series 5 Programme 4; 5 May 1968). The "Vicar Sketch" was a new item from the pair, along with a new sketch featuring Teddy and Freddy. The "Man Made" filmed item was written by Barry Cryer who had worked with Tim on "The Frost Report" and had appeared on "At Last the 1948 Show" with him. "Swap a Jest" was a sketch which had originated back in the days of "Cambridge Circus" and had been written by Tim and Chris Stuart-Clark along with the song from Bill; it had also appeared on the radio version of "Cambridge Circus" broadcast on 30 December 1963.
 
It was originally planned to film on 8 August 1968, but shooting was cancelled and deferred to 13 August. The main filmed item for the programme was "Man Made", although the other brief items included the opening gags, the man smashing his television, the bishop lifting the weights and the closing bath question. Joining Tim, Graeme and Nick McArdle on film were Bert Sims, Vincent Wong and H Elton.
 
The third of the pre-credit questions used some 35mm library film of a hippopotamus from the Associated British Picture Corporation; the same company also provided 35mm film of businessmen on a railway platform used in the "Man Made" item. Photocaptions in the episode - such as the shot of the Old Bailey - were provided by Barnaby's, Fox Photos and Camera Press.
 
The main recording of the show took place at Television Centre on 7 September 1968. Pre-recording took place between 2.30pm and 3pm in the afternoon; as usual, this covered the item with Tim and Graeme as the hosts mid-way through the programme, but also items which required video effects and editing that could not be achieved live such as the end of the Teddy and Freddy sketch where duplicates of the two academics suddenly appear, George's transformation into SuperBishop at the end of the "Vicar Sketch" and also the jug reattaching itself to its handle in the opening reversal sequence (achieved by running the item in reverse onto the master tape). The main show was then recorded between 8.30pm and 10pm with a warm-up by John Junkin.
 
The "Radio Times" also credited Bob Block with writing material for the show, althogh no such credit appeared on the programme. The show aired at 8.50pm on BBC2 on 11 November 1968 and while it attained a reaction index of 59 (an improvement on the previous week), the audience size had fallen to barely a million viewers.
 
 
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
(a) Bill Oddie
(b) Graeme (Kerry Thwacker)
(c) A Kick In The Arts (The Olympics episode)
(d) Highbrow Hall
(e) Two years old (Graeme claims to be 2.36!)
(f) A box of cigars
(g) Hans and Fritz
(h) "Mama"
 
YOUR SCORE:
8    Goodies fan supreme
7    Mastermind of the year
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Reasonably Goodie
1-2 Thick as old boots
0    Rolf Harris!
 
 
NEXT C&G EDITION:
- #123: 12th February 2006. 
 
  
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