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C&G 176 July 2010
July 2010 - Print Email PDF 
Posted by bretta 12/07/2010

Index

» July 2010

       **********************************************
       *   THE GOODIES FAN CLUB CLARION AND GLOBE   *
       **********************************************
 
 
    * THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF 'THE GOODIES RULE - OK!' *
             (http://www.goodiesruleok.com )
 
 
Issue No. 176                   12th July 2010
 
 
E-MAIL ADDRESSES
****************
 
Newsletter enquiries: clarion@goodiesruleok.com
General enquiries: enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
 
POSTAL ADDRESS
**************
 
'The Goodies Rule - OK!'
P.O. Box 492
Rosanna VIC 3084, AUSTRALIA
 
 
THE LADS AND LASSES OF THE C&G
******************************
 
EDITOR
- Brett Allender <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>
 
ACE REPORTER:
- Lisa Manekofsky
 
C&G CONTRIBUTORS:
- CScamp, Jacob Edwards, Linda, Daniel Bowen, Ian Greaves
 
CONTENTS
********
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE - Goodies brainteasers for you and you and you
2. BOFFO IDEAS - The latest club news and happenings
3. SPOTTED!!! - The latest Goodies sightings
4. 2001 AND A BIT - Tim, Graeme and Bill sightings post-Goodies.
5. A COLLECTION OF GOODIES THEMES #17 – Tim's Patriotic Speeches
6. GOODIES WORDFINDER SOLUTION – from last month
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
 
 
1. QUIZ & QUOTE
***************
(by "Magnus Magnesium")
 
QUOTE: "Then ... they tried to replace me with ... (shamed pause) ... Nicholas Parsons! I mean, I do have my pride! I am a man!"
 
(a) Which Goody says this quote?
(b) What item did he receive from the others as a parting gift?
(c) Which episode is this quote from?
 
QUIZ: This month's questions are from the episode "Scoutrageous"
 
(d) Complete Tim's regular Thursday night ritual, according to Graeme: "Trousers off, nothing to replace them, rustle rustle …"
(e) Why does Tim wear a garbage bag on his head when going out?
(f) What must Tim's scouts do if they have any unclean thoughts?
(g) What does the Initiative Badge involve?
(h) Name two of the only three people to have a World Domination Badge.
 
 
2. BOFFO IDEAS
**************
 
You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
 
Our best birthday wishes go out to the two Goodies celebrating birthdays this month. Firstly all the best to Bill who turned 69 on the 7th and Happy Birthday to Tim who will celebrate his 70th birthday on the 17th. Goody wishes to Bill and Tim from all of your fans at GROK.
 
 
WEBSITE POLLS
 
Last month's poll on what sort of gainful employment you'd offer to the Goodies ended up being a runaway win to the Rolf option, though I suspect that might be because 50 people misread it as being "Rolf Harris stranglers" … gee, it would have even got my vote if that was the case!
 
For which job would you most like to hire The Goodies?
 
- gardeners                    8 votes
- doctors                      8 votes
- lawyers                      6 votes
- professional trainers        4 votes
- musicians                   15 votes
- journalists                  1 votes
- babysitters                 10 votes
- a little light housekeeping 22 votes
- other                        8 votes
- Rolf Harris wranglers       50 votes
Total votes                  132 votes
 
Given that the World Cup, Wimbledon, US Open golf and any number of other sporting events have been in full swing lately, this month's poll offers you the chance to vote on which sporting-inspired Goodies episode gets you jumping, thumping and pumping with excitement. Just beware of the guy on the lawn playing polo, the jockey riding a giraffe and the maniac in the orange crate bobsled hurtling around the corner as you pedal your trandem to the polling booth to cast your vote. You know it makes sense!
 
Since sporting matches are currently in the news, this month we're asking which is your favourite Goodies episode with a sports theme or sequence.
The Commonwealth Games
Black and White Beauty
The Race
Wacky Wales
2001 and a Bit
A Kick in the Arts
War Babies
Hunting Pink
other
rounding up the Rolf Harrises
 
 
3. SPOTTED!!!
*************
 
More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! the Goodies this month:
 
CUNNING STUNTS CLIP
(Lisa Manekofsky – 8th Jul)
 
A one minute clip from The Goodies episode "Cunning Stunts" was added to the BBC Comedy website today: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/clips/p008r17h/the_goodies_mildred/    The one minute clip, which is entitled "Mildred", has the following description: "William loses his job to an attractive replacement". 
 
I'm unable to view it from the BBC Comedy page, perhaps because I'm outside the UK, I am able to watch it on http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p008r17h
 
The "Cunning Stunts" clip is linked from the BBC Comedy-->Clips-->The Goodies page: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/show/p0085sjd/the_goodies/  I hope this means more clips Goodies clips might be added in the future!
 
BTW, I noticed a section entitled Programme Information on the Comedy pages which invites you to click on a link to "Visit The Goodies pages to find out when this show is on next". Going to that page yields the information that no programmes are coming up and the episode was last on Wed, 10 Dec 1980 on BBC One (Wales only).
 
Regarding the clip - in hunting around some more, I also found another page saying the episode was aired on 14 April 1975 on BBC Two (http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0085sjd/episodes/1975 ). I'm guessing some sort of database might have been made uploaded from which the BBC webpages can draw data, though I could be wrong. Anyway, it is fun to see the info (especially from the pre-internet days). 
 
(9th Jul)
 
The first link (http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/clips/p008r17h/the_goodies_mildred/ ) was working for me today (from the US) as well as the http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p008r17h  one. Maybe they were still setting up it yesterday.
 
I posted the second link to The Goodies Facebook page yesterday (as well as on GROK, of course). My hope is that the clip will get enough hits to convince the BBC folks to add some more. Believe it or not, the Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/thegoodies ) is up to 84,000 fans!
 
 
COMEDY CHANNEL REPEATS
(Lisa Manekofsky – 8th Jul)
 
* various days: The Comedy Channel in Australia occasionally repeats episodes of "The Goodies". Watch their website (http://www.comedychannel.com.au/WhatsOn/Detail.aspx?id=211 ) for details about episodes coming up in the next 7 days. 
 
 
NO FIXED ABODE CRICKLEWOOD
(Linda – 8th Jul)
 
I came across a recording of some interviews done with the Goodies back in 2004 for BBC Radio 4. The show was recorded in 2 parts and is known as No Fixed Abode Cricklewood.
 
You can get Part 1 here :
 
and Part 2 here
 
 
THE GOODIES PODCAST
 
New Goodies Podcasts since last month's C&G:
 
#20: Episode Commentary – Dodonuts
#21: Interview – Alison Bean (GROK fan club founder)
#22: Episode Commentary – Give Police A Chance
#23: Episode Commentary – The Lost Tribe
 
You can find these and other awesome commentaries and interviews at: http://goodiespodcast.libsyn.com/
 
 
4. 2001 AND A BIT
*****************
 
If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Large files (such as scans of articles or photos) for posting on the club's website can be sent to us at: groksite@gmail.com
Those of you seeking radio and tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-l mailing list (more details available on the club website), as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.
 
** (All items in this section contributed by Lisa Manekofsky, except where otherwise credited) **
 
Please note: BBC RADIO SHOWS listed below can be heard online via each station's website (www.bbc.co.uk/radio4 or www.bbc.co.uk/radio7 ) and then for a week after broadcast from the BBC iPlayer (aka Listen Again), www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer . Radio shows on the iPlayer are supposed to be available for listening worldwide.
 
 
BILL SPOTTINGS
 
* Embrace My Planet has posted a two minute video clip of Bill Oddie talking about "ideal locations for onshore wind farms...and cats" at http://www.embracemyplanet.com/videos/bill-oddie-speaks-wind-farmsand-cats  
(18th Jun)
 
 
* Bill Oddie has started writing a wildlife themed blog for his official website. The first post (dated June 16th) is available at http://www.billoddie.com/Bills_Blog.htm  
(22nd Jun)
 
 
* For fans in the UK - clips from Bill's 2006 series, "Bill Oddie's How to Watch Wildlife", have been added to the BBC iPlayer at http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p007q9q3#clips    Note that iPlayer radio shows are available worldwide but television shows (& clips) are restricted to those within the UK.
(22nd Jun)
 
 
* According to Up To Speed News (http://uptospeednews.co.uk/uncategorized/its-elvis-and-chico-time-in-battersea-park/ ), Bill was one of the celebrities taking part in a Battersea Park charity concert a few days ago.
(7th Jul)
 
 
* Sun, 17 July: A repeat of "Outtake TV" with a clip from Bill's wildlife work.
(8th Jul)
 
 
* All this week, The Daily Mirror (UK) has been trailing a brand new studio album by Prince, which is available free with this Saturday's paper.
Today's edition of the Mirror includes the fifth of five daily promotional articles, this time with reviews of the CD from a number of celebrities. Here's Bill on p9:
"I first saw him in 1980, at the Lyceum Ballroom in London. He was promoting his third album, Dirty Mind, attired in a chiffon scarf, black leather trench coat and matching thong. He was brilliant.
"Thirty years later and watching him almost as many times, he still is. He's supremely talented. So what about this album? The programmed drums and keyboard synth hark back to early recordings, and most of the melodies remind you of something he's done before, even if you can't remember what!"
(Ian Greaves – 9th Jul)
 
 
GRAEME SPOTTINGS
 
* BBC Radio 7 is repeating Graeme Garden & Barry Cryer's 1989 radio sketch comedy series "The Long Hot Satsuma" on Tuesdays starting today (June 15th). Although the BBC website says they are only airing two episodes, as the station used to do before recovering the episodes that were missing from the archives, other listings show this will be a repeat of the full series. 
Episode 1 can be heard for a week (until next Tuesday's episode airs) from http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b007jwxv/The_Long_Hot_Satsuma_Episode_1/
(16th Jun)
 
 
* Graeme has a poem appearing in #45 of the Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine. "The Man Who Invented Time Travel" constitutes only about 1% of the publication (page 101, to be precise) and so may not in itself justify the cover price; but those with a penchant for SF and Fantasy, or who reminisce over-fondly about the Song of the Jolly Rock Lighthouse, might just like to check it out.
(Jacob Edwards – 7th Jul)
 
 
* Another doodle by Graeme Garden is being auctioned for charity on eBay. It is item number 220632859008; here's a link to the auction: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=220632859008  
(8th Jul)
 
 
* Tuesdays: "The Long Hot Satsuma", Graeme Garden and Barry Cryer's 1980's sketch comedy series, is being repeated on BBC Radio 7 at 8:30 & 22:00. 
(8th Jul)
 
 
TIM SPOTTINGS
 
* A 1971 film in which Tim Brooke-Taylor had a small role, "The Statue", has been released on DVD in the US. The film starred David Niven, Virna Lisi, Robert Vaughn, and John Cleese. Here's a listing for it at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Statue-David-Niven/dp/B00383XYRC/
(18th Jun)
 
 
* Tim is one of the performers in audio download "The Wit of Golf".
According to the show's listing on Audio.com (at http://tinyurl.com/33o83rg ), "Building on the huge success of The Wit of Cricket, this is a collection of the funniest golf anecdotes, jokes, and stories, performed by Peter Alliss, Tim Brooke-Taylor, and Robert Powell. Here is a bumper bag of humorous anecdotes and amusing tales from the world of golf that proves it is a funny old game - bunkers, birdies, and all!
Recorded live by Peter Alliss, Tim Brooke-Taylor, and Robert Powell in front of an enthusiastic audience at Hindhead Golf Club in Surrey, here are dozens of hilarious stories about legendary players such as Seve Ballesteros, Nick Faldo, Jack Nicklaus, and Tiger Woods - and also caddies, club golf, pro-celebrity tournaments, and commentary gaffes!"
(18th Jun)
 
 
* Also available as an audio download is Tim's appearance in the BBC Radio 4 show "I've Never Seen Star Wars". Here's a link to the series on Audio.com, although it is likely available from other digital retailers as well: http://tinyurl.com/33u8tet  
(18th Jun)
 
 
* Thanks to cscamp for reporting in the GROK forums that the "Australia Versus" series starts on Australian TV channel 7 Tuesday 6th July 9.30 pm. We don't know yet in which episode Tim will appear.
It appears that episodes of the series may be available to viewers in Australia for a week after broadcast from
(7th Jul)
 
 
* Sun, 11 July; Mon, 12 July; Sun, 18 July; Mon, 19 July: "Tim Brooke-Taylor's Golf Clubs" is repeated on Discovery Travel and Living at 5:30.
(8th Jul)
 
 
Channel Seven has raised the white flag on its new show, Australia Versus, shoving it from the prime spot after ''Packed to the Rafters'' to 10:30pm on Tuesday.
Australia Versus debuted last week, with a lead-in audience of 1.8 million, but 1.2 million of those had switched off before it was over.
Diary hears that Seven has between 10 and 13 episodes of a program that has been described to us as ''seriously bad.''
(Daniel Bowen – 9th Jul)
 
Oh dear. 
They should have started with Tim's episode; that would have kept more of the audience.
(Lisa Manekofsky – 9th Jul)
 
 
I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and
I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)
 
* A new series of Tim & Graeme's radio show, "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue", starts on BBC Radio 4 next Monday, 21 June. The show will air for six weeks at 6:30pm Mondays; each episode will be repeated the following Sunday at noon. The broadcasts can be heard online from www.bbc.co.uk/radio4. After broadcast, each episode will be available online for a week from the BBC iPlayer (radio shows on iPlayer should be available to most of the world).
Here's a listing for the first episode of the new series: "BBC Radio 4's antidote to panel games returns for its 53rd series with regulars Tim Brooke Taylor, Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and Jeremy Hardy on the panel and Jack Dee as the programme's reluctant chairman. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue promises more quality, desk-based entertainment for all the family, as the series starts its run from the Centaur in Cheltenham. Regular listeners will know to expect inspired nonsense, pointless revelry and Colin Sell at the piano."
(16th Jun)
 
 
* Another date is being advertised in the 2010 I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Stage Tour. In addition to the previously mentioned show in Newcastle on December 8th (for which tickets are now on sale), a show is to be held at the Grant Theatre in Wolverhampton on Monday, 15 November. 
Details about the Wolverhampton show are available at http://www.grandtheatre.info/WhatsOn_focus.asp?ShowId=474&sC=page46  , which also has a booking link; the Box Office can be reached at 01902 42 92 12. It appears this show may be on sale.
(18th Jun)
 
 
* This week's BBC Radio 7 repeat of "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" (Tim, Graeme, & Bill's 1960's radio sketch comedy series) features the first part of "The Curse of the Flying Wombat" plus John Cleese singing "The Ferret Song". The episode can be heard online in most of the world from http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00srqfn/Im_Sorry_Ill_Read_That_Again_Series_4_Episode_1/  
(Some of you may know "The Ferret Song" from its appearance on Tim and John's television series "At Last the 1948 Show").
(18th Jun)
 
 
* The Guardian ran an article about Jack Dee hosting "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" in its July 5th edition: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2010/jul/05/jack-dee-sorry-havent-clue  
(7th Jul)
 
 
* For the ISIHAC fans - there's an article about Barry's solo "Still Alive" review (which mentions Clue) at http://www.wimbledonguardian.co.uk/leisure/8239207.Barry_s_still_clued_up/  
(7th Jul)
 
 
* Mondays: The new series of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" with Tim and Graeme on BBC Radio 4 Mondays at 18:30; each episode is repeated the following Sunday at noon.
(8th Jul)
 
 
* Tuesdays: "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" repeats on ABC Radio National at 5:30 (http://www.abc.net.au/rn/comedy/ )
(8th Jul)
 
 
* Tuesdays: vintage episodes of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" with Tim and Graeme are being repeated on BBC Radio 7 at 12:30 and 19:30.
(8th Jul)
 
 
* Thursdays: "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" (Tim, Graeme, & Bill's 1960's sketch comedy radio series which also starred John Cleese, David Hatch, and Jo Kendall) is repeated on BBC Radio 7 at 12:30 & 19:30.
(8th Jul)
 
 
LISTEN AGAIN LINKS
 
Here are some Listen Again links from the last few days.
 
* This week's episode of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Series 53 Episode 3 (originally broadcast July 5th): http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00sx2z1/Im_Sorry_I_Havent_A_Clue_Series_53_Episode_3/  
 
* I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Series 53 Episode 2 (from last week), which will still be available until this Sunday: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00strwh/Im_Sorry_I_Havent_A_Clue_Series_53_Episode_2/
 
* a 1984 episode of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue from a BBC Radio 7 repeat: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00syp4j/Im_Sorry_I_Havent_A_Clue_06_07_2010/
 
* The Long Hot Satsuma Episode 4 from BBC Radio 7: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00mq4pf/The_Long_Hot_Satsuma_Episode_4/
(8th Jul)
 
 
5. A COLLECTION OF GOODIES THEMES #17
*************************************
(by Brett Allender)
 
TIM'S PATRIOTIC SPEECHES
 
One of the most notable and enjoyable recurring themes throughout The Goodies is the series of patriotic speeches made by Tim Brooke-Taylor. Generally to the backing tune of "Land Of Hope And Glory" and at a pivotal part of the storyline, we see Tim stand up tall and straight, arms outstretched, the love of Queen and country blazing in his eyes, loudly and proudly urging his not-so-fervent offsiders to join him in doing something noble and daring for England … until he gets totally sidetracked one way or another. This may involve the others interrupting him out of sheer boredom, him angling for a reward of sorts or him realising that there's an element of danger involved, causing his craven cowardly side to suddenly resurface.
 
In "Loch Ness Monster, the first episode of Series 2, Tim is adamant that the opening of the Lord Snowden Monster House at the London Zoo will be a success, despite scepticism from Graeme and Bill, so he gets Graeme's computer playing "Land Of Hope And Glory" and launches into his first big speech: "Listen you two. This is a Royal cage and it's going to be a Royal occasion. *She* is going to be there and *she* is going to expect a monster. And I deem it a great honour that we have the chance to provide one for her. And if we succeed I'm sure that she will not forget us when it comes to handing out the you-know-whats!"
G (unimpressed): " You'd do anything for an OBE, wouldn't you?" T: "Yep."
 
The following episode, "Commonwealth Games", provides the perfect platform for Tim to laud the glory days of the Mother Country over the far-flung reaches of the British Empire, especially when Graeme complains about Tim watching the boring sport of cricket. T: "Good heavens, the British Empire was founded on cricket." G (bemused): "I beg your pardon?! T (to background music other than "Land of Hope And Glory"): "It's true. Picture us, the English. That proud indomitable island race surrounded by a load of non cricket-playing frogs, wops, krauts and greasy dagos. But were we downhearted? No! Generations of Englishmen sallied forth to the uttermost ends of the earth to seek out ignorant savages to teach them the traditions of English justice, respect for the Queen and how to play cricket so that we could send out to them our ambassadors for goodwill, crack test teams of first-class players, and beat the living daylights out of them! B: "Aha so that's all we care about is it? Winning!" T (matter-of-factly): "Bill, you do not play cricket to win. You play it to draw!"
 
Later in the episode when the Goodies return to their office after the ignominy of being soundly thrashed at the Commonwealth Games by the August Bank Holiday Island team, Tim does this time fire up "Land Of Hope" in a hopeless situation. T: "It's the end. The end of the British Commonwealth of nations. The sun has finally set on the British Empire." G: " We did our best." T: "It matters not whether you win or lose but how you play the game." B: "That's right." T (mortified): "BUT WE LOST! We lost! But when an Englishman loses, he knows what to do. (raises a gun) G (to B, worried): I think we'd better leave him … alone." (they walk quietly to door) T: "We were to blame. Goodbye old friends." (holds gun in front of his head) B&G: "Goodbye" (T turns and points gun at them) B&G (panicking):" NO!" Thankfully the Minister of Sport enters at this point with the news that the former member countries have all rejoined the Commonwealth under the new August Bank Holiday Island King … except for Britain, which has been expelled because it's not good enough at sport!
 
"Antiques" has Tim suddenly gets all righteous and patriotic about English art treasures leaving the country, notably a portrait by Velasquez, and decides to makes a stand over it at a Sothebys art auction. T: "Are we British going to stand and watch them take it from us?" B: "Yes!" T: "Shut up! It is the duty of every Englishman in this room to join me here and defend our heritage." G (to B, resigned): "He means us." (G plays "Land Of Hope And Glory" on the saxophone, while B holds a little Union Jack and echoes T) T: " For too long now we have stood and watched our country stripped of its noblest landmarks …" B: "Yeah, strip strip, you've gone!" T: "Too many times you've taken too much from us. London Bridge, the Queen Mary, Julie Andrews and David Frost (each followed by echoes from Bill) And we're grateful!" B: "Yes, thank you!" T: "But you're not having our Velasquez … for we stand in defiance of you as proud Englishmen …" B: "Proud Englishmen." T: "Just as Velasquez was a proud Englishman …" B: "He was Spanish!" T: "Never mind that!   He looked English … a bit! And he's ours and this painting is ours and it must be presented to the nation and even if we have to buy it ourselves, we'll buy it with every English coin in our English pocket." B: "So there!" Auctioneer (calling their bluff as he is fed up with them): "Alright, how much?!" Ultimately one million billion trillion quintillion zillion pounds and 2 1/2 new pence after a frenzied bidding war with the wealthy Americans.
 
In "The New Office", Tim unleashes perhaps his most inspiring patriotic speech urging the Goodies to get out of their new disused railway station office and fight the horrible machines that are ruining England's greenery.
T: "My decision is we must fight (switches record player on) We must fight, for that is our duty. Let us not forget that those machines you saw out there are turning our verdant pastures into a concrete jungle. (B&G: "Aye.") Those monsters spell the end of civilization as we know it on this planet. (B&G: "Aye.") Are we going to stand by and watch England's green and pleasant land get defaced … (B&G: "No!"), desecrated … (B&G: "No!"), raped, (B&G gasp with shock and cover their ears), no! Rather let us go out and fight, vainly perhaps but gloriously, for we are Englishmen!" B&G (preparing to charge out the door): "Aye." T: "Aye! Arm yourself, my friends, and prepare to defend your honour and your heritage. Onward!" B&G: "Onward!" They both charge out the door with Tim marching behind looking as though he's ready to fight too, only for him to close the door behind them, rub his hands and wipe his brow with relief before an annoyed Graeme and Bill re-enter to drag him outside as well, to much cowardly protest!
 
Another chance for the Goodies to chase sporting glory for England in "Winter Olympics" has the Goodies telling the Minister of Sport to "push off" as they are sick of making fools of themselves. Tim is ultimately lured by the idea of representing his country in the Winter Olympics, so on goes the record : "Remember my friends, we are Englishmen. We'll do it. Not for reasons of personal pride. Not for the glory. Not even for the thrill. We'll do it for one thing and one thing only ... (turns record off) ... a lot of money! ", with all three Goodies holding their hands out in hope of receiving some cash for their patriotic duty.
 
Graeme's proposed voyage to rediscover the Lost Island Of Munga in "For Those In Peril On The Sea" has Tim all inspired to rediscover it after the French had blown it twice around the moon by detonating a H-bomb on it, at least for a little while … T: "That lost island must be claimed for England." G: " Right." T: "And it is we three who must sail forth on those unchartered waters as did the fearless mariners of old. Yes, we must follow in the wake of those men who made great discoveries … Marco Polo, Captain Cook, Hughie Green … yes, that lost island will become a bastion of the great British Commonwealth and the primitive people will learn how to wear detached collars and ties, and how to beat us at cricket. Yes, we must sail on that voyage, for England." G: "It'll be dangerous." T: "Ooh I'm not going then!"
 
The threat of the town planner wanting to buy Camelot from Tim's Uncle King Arthur and demolish it to build a useless three-lane highway has Tim, then surprisingly Graeme, up in arms about it being their duty to protect their heritage and defend Uncle King Arthur's property. T: "This is what I have to say to that, mate! (puts record on) It would be a national tragedy …" Planner (rapidly shutting off music): "Alright, alright, we're going!" T (upset): "I wanted to make a speech!" G: "Ah never mind Tim, I know what you mean … (puts record back on) … It would be a national tragedy, if Camelot …" T (switches record player off, horrified) "I was gonna say that! That's mine!"
 
In "Hospital For Hire", the ailing Minister of Health agrees to allow Graeme to put his idea of a mobile travelling hospital into action to help improve the National Health Service. The minister then comments that it will be a big job and asks if the Goodies are sure that they want to do it. T: "Yes Sir, we'll do it, for England (he puts on a "Land Of Hope" record conveniently located in the Minister's office) We'll do it, not for reasons of personal glory, not even …" G (swipes record off, and utters bluntly): "There isn't time for that!" T (blubbering): "But I wanted to make a speech!" B (sympathetically): "Aw c'mon you can make one in the bath tonight."
 
After inadvertently winning the Tour de France while trying to cycle to Skegness in "The Race", Graeme is keen to enter the Goodies into further events to win more prizemoney. Bill isn't so keen, but Tim agrees with Graeme. T: "It is our duty. Now that the Common Market countries have been allowed to join the empire, I've noticed they've been getting a bit too big for their boots. They must be taught a lesson. (starts record player) The British bulldog has not lost his teeth. Good old John Bull will never bow down to these greasy wops, frogs, krauts and Luxembourgians! Let them remember Agincourt, Cressy, Blenheim and Waterloo, passengers for Derby, change at Leicester! We shall beat these cocky foreigners - them and their garlic bicycles! (to a bemused look from Graeme) We are best, for we are British!" B: "Oi, what makes you so sure we'll win?" T: "We … shall cheat!"
 
In "Rome Antics" Bill grumbles about the traditional English way of life being spoiled by the conquering Romans, which prompts an early patriotic speech from Tim, with Bill playing "Land of Hope And Glory" on his ancient euphonium for good measure. T: "Britons do not cringe!" B (mutters): "Gawd, here we go!" T: "We are a proud island race and led by our great Queen, Boadicea, bless her, we shall be proud once again. The Romans may have come, they may have seen and they may have conquered, but when the next Roman comes through that door, what shall we say to him?! WE SHALL SAY… (Roman messenger enters) … Ooh Good morning Sir, may I lick your boots!"
 
When trapped inside a block of concrete in "The End", two of the many points of argument among the Goodies are the determining of social rank and the allocation of chores. Graeme eventually settles the argument between Bill and Tim by declaring that Tim may become a lord but he still has to clean the shoes, to which Tim somewhat reluctantly agrees. T: "Oh alright, I suppose we all have to strive together to create a new society (puts on record) We shall build a fine … " (Bill takes record off gramophone and smashes it to bits – after several failed attempts which make for great blooper footage!) T (outraged): You … what did you do that for!" B (cheekily): "Silent revolution, m'lord Timbo!"
 
Then at the conclusion of this episode, the three futuristic space-suited Goodies finally manage to tunnel though into the office, but find that they are too late to rescue their predecessors. The space age Tim laments their passing: "Never knowing that there were those who came after them to carry on their noble tradition (he presses a button on his space suit to activate a recording of "Land Of Hope And Glory") A tradition of honesty and integrity, but above all courage, yes, courage my friends. Just as they had courage, just as we have courage, and just as … the tunnel is collapsing! (starts freaking out) I can't stand it, I'm a teapot, I'm a teapot …!"
 
Another futuristic Goodies episode, "2001 And A Bit", sees young Bill Brooke-Taylor take over the running of the Goodies from his ancient father Tim and naturally he's a dab hand at making patriotic speeches too, particularly when "young scruffpot" Tim Garden enters the office and asks what's going on. BBT (starts cassette of "Land of Hope And Glory"): "What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on! The golden age. The new magnificent time when we, the new brave Goodies, led by me, the great Bill Brooke-Taylor, march forward for England …" (a bored TG turns the cassette player off, and Bill starts bawling) You've spoilt my first speech!" TG: "Well it was so boring, wasn't it?!" Shortly afterwards, BBT restarts his speech: "We've gotta get out there righting wrongs, fighting lawbreakers, just like our Dads.", only for TG turns the cassette player off again, saying it was alright for their Dads (including his own "raving loony" father) because everything they did back then was naughty. BBT tries one more time: "Listen, I think this is a wonderful time to be alive. The golden age of Jolly King Charles!" only to finally give up when TG retorts: "That buffoon! You wait 'til his program drops out of the top 10. Then he'll be out on his ear. (chuckles) At least he'll have a soft landing! Ear, ear!"
 
Later in the episode, also BBT produces a rousing cricket poem to revive the MCC, featuring lines such as: "We'll show them all with bat and ball, in spite of our lumbago. We're not caught out by frog or kraut, nor greasy wop nor dago!" which inspires the long-retired cricketers to march out singing their battle anthem 'We Are The Lads Of The MCC'. 
 
"Dodonuts" has a raucous Tim just beginning to deliver a patriotic speech to the members of the Endangered Species Club upon its own imminent extinction after that "grotty little screwball Oddie" has deprived them of having any further endangered animals to hunt. However he barely gets to put the record on and bellow: "No more, will there …" before he is quickly interrupted by Graeme, who reminds him: "There is one left … dodo!"
 
In "War Babies", Prime Minister Churchill asks the three young Goodies to go up in a plane, parachute into the middle of Germany, travel to Stuttgart, buy him a nice box of cigars and then come home. Despite the Germans being unlikely to suspect or harm three little boys, Bill and Graeme are reluctant to do so until a baby babble "Land Of Hope And Glory" speech by Tim convinces them to do it.
 
Tim's final opportunity to deliver a patriotic speech comes when the Goodies venture to the testing ground to find out if they are still fit to be Goodies. He has to produce a patriotic speech within 30 seconds, however he falls backwards off the podium before he can utter a word and is completely shown up by the Robot which sends off a burst of fireworks, Union Jack flags and "Land of Hope" from inside its head!
 
In a past interview for the Goodies Clarion & Globe, Tim was asked "How similar are you to your Goodies character?, to which he replied: "I like to think not a lot. But there are some similarities. The name for a start. I am patriotic and sometimes a coward." The patriotism and cowardice are a contrasting combination that works well on-screen for Tim's Goodies character and makes for a memorable and humourous feature of the show.
 
Website article & photo gallery:
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6. GOODIES WORDFINDER SOLUTION
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From last month's puzzle:
 
Two words (6 and 5 letters) - clue: "Tim and Bill unleash this on Britain"
 
Wabbit Power
 
 
7. QUIZ & QUOTE ANSWERS
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(a) Bill
(b) A piece of cheese
(c) Cunning Stunts
(d) Into the mack
(e) To hide his "silly" scout hat
(f) Immediately take a cold shower
(g) Stealing a pair of Margaret Thatcher's knickers
(h) Choice of Alexander The Great, Julius Caesar and David Frost (though Frosty pinched his!)
 
YOUR SCORE:
8    Mastermind Of The Year
7    Goodies fan supreme
5-6 Clever clogs
3-4 Goody Goody effort
1-2 Time to watch some more episodes
0    Are you sure you're not Rolf Harris?!
 
 
NEXT C&G EDITION:
- #177: 12th August 2010.
 
UPCOMING ARTICLES:
- August / September: Goodies Music Review – M.I.C.K.E.Y. M.O.U.S.E.
- September / October: A Collection Of Goodies Themes – Goodies Targets: Rolf Harris
 
C&G BACK ISSUES CONTENTS INDEX: http://www.goodiesruleok.com/articles.php?id=45
Updated to C&G 162 (May 2009)
 
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The Goodies Fan Club Clarion and Globe is copyright The Goodies Rule - OK! 2010. All rights reserved.
Permission to reproduce this work or any section of it, in any form must first be obtained from the copyright holders.
 
For further information regarding this publication please e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com>.
For other general enquiries about the 'Goodies Rule - OK' fan club or 'The Goodies' itself, please e-mail enquiries@goodiesruleok.com
 
TO OBTAIN THIS NEWSLETTER IN WORD DOCUMENT FORM:
E-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> requesting transfer to the Word mailing list.
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