GOODIES COR COMICS SYNOPSIS #8
(by Linda Kay)
(from C&G 79 – July 2002)
24th February, 1973 No. 31
During the course of The Goodies television series the characters were seen as having fallen upon hard times on several occasions. The occupation of doing Anything, Anytime, Anywhere was often not a lucrative one and our heroes often derived much humor from being "down on their luck." So it is the Cor!! comics also touched upon this theme.
Some say any publicity is good publicity, but is that really the case? The Goodies might have some serious arguments with that concept in this month's comic outing.
Header: BILL'S IDEA FOR GAINING PUBLICITY "ADS" TO THE FUN OF THIS TALE!
The Goodies are seen destitute in their offices ... Bill is boiling an old boot in a pot (the boot is attached to a line like a miniature fishing pole), Tim sits nearby at a table with a small candle and a notice marked "Final Demand" while Graeme huddles nearby. All three are wearing tattered blankets.
TIM: Bah! One *boot* among the three of us for lunch on a freezing day like this!
BILL: We haven't had a job for ages! We need to ADVERTISE!
GRAEME: You're right - come on!
The three are seen riding down the street on their trandem, Graeme and Bill each holding a pole which stretches between them a banner that reads "We Do Anything Any Time." They have just crossed a bridge where we see a man fishing over the side in the background.
TIM: We'll ride into town and show the flag ... er ... sign!
But suddenly they find themselves going backwards, obviously the work of a strong wind catching their banner and pushing them back like a sail. A man, a woman and a small tree are also being adversely affected by this sudden gust.
TIM: Ooer! You might have tested the WIND DIRECTION first!
GRAEME: Oops! Another reverse!
The trandem hurls backwards onto the bridge and crashes with a C-R-U-N-C-H!, knocking the unsuspecting fisherman over the edge. After having gathered themselves together, Bill looks sadly out over the waterway, oblivious to the poor fisherman who is now barely hanging onto the underside of the span with a boat coming toward him.
BILL: If only we could get in the papers by doing something heroic - like rescuing someone from the river! But only an idiot would fall in on a cold day like this!
Bill does not noticed that Tim and Graeme are sharing "thumbs up" signs between themselves. But he catches on in the next panel when they start after him ominously. He backs away from them in desperation. (In the meantime the fisherman's coat has been caught on the front spear of the passing boat and he's now being carried upstream).
TIM: WE know just the idiot, don't we?
BILL: No, you rotters - you WOULDN'T!
Bill is hurled into the water by Graeme and Tim with a loud SPLASH!
TIM: Don't worry, Bill! We'll save you!
Bill is floundering in the water (with a hapless fish on top of his head), waving to Graeme and Tim, who have fetched a nearby life preserver (marked Sludgeham U.D.C.).
BILL: H-hurry, b-before I turn into an iceberg!
TIM: Throw him a life-belt! It'll save us diving in!
Graeme and Tim go to throw in the life preserver but haven't noticed its line has tangled around their legs, so they end up falling into the water with it. The preserver hits Bill on top of the head, but he's optimistic nonetheless.
BILL: I misjudged them - they ARE coming in for me!
All three Goodies are now struggling in the water, grasping onto one another as a police boat christened "Fair Cop" comes chugging toward them with two less than sympathetic cops standing on the bow and stern respectively.
TIM: Hey, who's supposed to be saving whom?
GRAEME: H .. HELP!
POLICEMAN: Suppose we'd better pull them out!
Back in their offices, The Goodies shiver and shake in blankets with their feet in tubs of warm water as they read a copy of the Daily Wail with the headline "Police Save Three Unknown Nits From River." A small photo shows them being led away with blankets over their heads.
TIM: We got our pictures in the paper all right - Ashoo! - BUT NOBODY CAN SEE WHO WE ARE!
Tim walks to the window holding a business card as a gust of wind once again comes up, blowing it out of his hand and out the window.
TIM: Supposing we put our card through people's letterboxes? Oops!
BILL: Get after that card - it's the only one we've got left!
Graeme rushes to the sink next to the window and places a finger under the faucet as Tim turns on the water, causing it to squirt in a stream out the window.
GRAEME: It's so cold out, this jet of water will FREEZE and we can slide down it!
They slide out the window on the frozen arch of ice (much to the surprise of their downstairs neighbor) but Tim is looking worriedly up at the sun.
TIM: Er ... have you noticed it's getting WARMER, pals?
The ice melts and crumbles, and they come crashing down onto the sidewalk on top of one another (and straight through the pavement!). Nevertheless a man is seen running toward them excitedly while a woman waits for him near a van.
BILL: Ouch! Another of Graeme's wet ideas!
FRED: Er . . .excuse me, are you The Goodies?
The Goodies have climbed out from the hole in the sidewalk (we see a man's hat and hand from within the hole, indicating they landed on someone when they fell) and look startled as Fred motions to the van marked Fred & Anna Purna Climbing Equipment. The back of the van is full of climbing gear.
FRED: I make climbing gear but I can't sell any! I wonder if you could advertise it for me?
TIM: You must be joking!
Just then a very large and expensive car is seen coming around the corner and The Goodies look worried as it approaches.
TIM: I'm glad he isn't! The landlord's coming for his rent so we need some way to dodge him!
The Goodies are next seen scaling the outside of their offices, struggling with hooks and lines in full mountain climbing gear. Their landlord waves a rent due notice angrily from below. A crowd has gathered and is cheering them on and a film crew has arrived to record their progress.
In the last panel all three Goodies are seen unhappily roasting boots and shoes in a fashion
similar to the way Bill had been doing so in the first panel.
GRAEME: One boot EACH for lunch - this is more like it!
Sign-Off Line: THE FUN REACHES A HIGH PEAK AGAIN IN NEXT WEEK'S GOODIES STORY!
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
II - Fair-y punkmother.
Not one of the stronger offerings from Cor!!, this story seems to go in too many directions without any clear direction and the conclusion, while cute, is not particularly satisfying (we have to assume they spent the money they might have made advertising the mountain climbing gear on the rent, leaving them with nothing left for food). Tim and Graeme ganging up on Bill to chuck him into the river is keeping very much in tune with their characters on the show, and the absurdity of the frozen water arch takes advantage of their cartoon entities nicely, but all in all a tighter story might have made these elements come together a bit better.
Additional material from this issue:
Cor!! offered a letters section to their readers called "Quick Cor*ments" in which fans could write in with comments, jokes, stories or suggestions. This issue saw the first of several letters from readers regarding The Goodies comic strip, followed by an editorial reply:
"The 6th January issue of COR!! was a real cracker. The new features were super ... especially
THE GOODIES. I think this is one of the funniest sets in the paper. MARK KNIGHT, HARLOW."
(What do other readers think of COR!!'s two new features ... FIVE-MINUTE WANDA and THE GOODIES? ... Ed.)