GOODIES COR COMICS SYNOPSIS #7
(by Linda Kay)
(from C&G 78 – June 2002)
17th February, 1973 No. 30
We have seen several occasions so far in these Cor!! reviews where the comics have touched upon subjects similar to ones The Goodies had utilized in their TV shows. In the comic we'll review this month the two main topics are ones The Goodies used themselves several times ... medical misadventures and busking (or as we call it in America, street performing).
The Goodies' skills as buskers are not called into question in this particular outing. In fact by every indication they're quite talented. Instead the comedy derives from the settings in which they decide to perform. Trying to find an appreciative audience amongst sick people is not quite the same as entertaining people on queue for a play or movie. And our heroes are destined to find this out the hard way!
Header: THE GOODIES MAKE A SONG AND DANCE ABOUT THINGS WHEN THEY GO BUSKING!
The Goodies are seen cycling past the Odium Cinema where a line of waiting patrons are listening to two buskers, one with a trumpet, the other with a set of drums set up in a one-man band fashion.
TIM: Look at those buskers entertaining the *queues* waiting to go into the cinema and the theatre!
They have now reached the front of a medical building with a large "SURGERY" sign above the plate glass window full of waiting patients. A smaller sign to the left shows the surgery's hours as being 9:00 to 9:15 - Monday thru Friday, while the list of Doctors below the window includes Dr. Kill, Dr. Orr and Dr. Curem (Kill or Cure 'em). Tim slams on the brakes, which results in the Goodies knocking their heads together painfully as the trandem screeches to a halt.
TIM: Stop! *We'll* entertain the queues waiting to see the *doctor*! They need cheering up!
Inside the surgery Bill enters with a squeezebox and a large base drum and cymbals attached to his back. The patients seem too morose and grumpy to respond much to his entrance ... the screaming baby in the foreground doesn't even cease his squalling.
BILL: I say! I say ... what goes ninety-nine bonk? ... A centipede with a wooden leg! *Boom! Boom!*
Tim and Graeme have also entered, Tim juggling several balls and Graeme encouraging the still unenthusiastic crowd with a small "Clap" sign. They are clearly in violation (as is everyone else in the room) of a sign on the wall which reads "No Singing, No Dancing, No Coughing, No Sneezing, No Breathing, etc."
BILL: And now we proudly present the world's greatest juggler!
A small box in the upper left corner of the panel points to a door marked "Doctor" and states WHILE BEHIND THAT DOOR! then points to the next panel as well, where we see the Doctor Curem trying to listen to a burly patient's heart but hearing the sound of Bill's drum pounding from behind the door instead.
DOCTOR CUREM: *Cor!!* I say ... your jolly old ticker's working overtime!
The doctor speaks to his patient as he opens the door to the waiting room where Tim continues to juggle, oblivious to a sick man sitting nearby.
SICK MAN'S THOUGHT BALLOON: Hope that doc gives me something for my cold I'm ... going ... to ... sneeze ... aaaAAAH ...!
DOCTOR CUREM: We'll have to do something about your ticker ... !
The sick man sneezes violently (even knocking plaster from the walls and ceiling!), blowing the balls out of Tim's hands in a gale and into the room where Doctor Curem is tending to the burly patient.
DOCTOR CUREM: I want you to take these pills ... !
TIM: Me juggling balls! Who's blown 'em away?
The balls hurl toward to unsuspecting patient, who winds up catching one in the mouth.
DOCTOR CUREM: ... two after every meal ... !
The patient flees from the doctor's office, crying out and causing everyone in the waiting room to scramble for the exit, the Goodies included. The base drum and squeezebox are destroyed in the stampede. A patient even leaves his cast behind, while a cobweb-covered patient remains sleeping on the bench. Doctor Curem is left dejected in his office. A sign on the wall reads "Free Football Photos with Every Prescription."
BURLY PATIENT (with ball still lodged in his mouth): Look at the size of the pills that quack expects me to swallow! I suggest you try another doctor!
THE GOODIES DIDN'T GIVE UP ...
The Goodies are once again riding down the street and pass another surgery office. Tim points to it excitedly.
TIM: Here's another waiting room! Let's start cheering 'em up!
They enter the waiting room, Bill in front balancing a sword by its tip on his palm as the patients look on without much interest.
TIM: Hello, hello! You lucky people! Presenting the world's greatest *sword swallower*!
Bill begins swallowing the sword as Tim barks to the crowd and Graeme again tries to elicit enthusiasm with an "APPLAUSE" sign. None of them notice the door to the inner office is opening quite suddenly.
TIM: Down it goes! *Clap! Clap!*
BECKONING HAND FROM INSIDE OFFICE: First patient, please!
The hand grabs Bill roughly by the back of the neck and drags him back into the office, the handle of the sword sticking out of his mouth.
OWNER OF HAND: *Come on, man!* Don't dilly-dally! My time's valuable!
The door of the office slams shut and Bill finds himself in a rather unstable looking dentist's chair with the dentist literally straddling him, holding a menacing pair of pincer-extractors in his hand. A variety of instruments, from a hammer to a trowel next to a pile of wet cement, lay around the office.
DENTIST: Open your mouth ... *WOWIE*! What a whopping great bad tooth!
BILL'S THOUGHT BALLOON: *Cor!!* It's a dentist's surgery!
Bill is helpless as the dentist grapples the end of the sword with the pincers, swinging wildly around to the back of the chair and pulling every which way as the chair spins.
DENTIST: It'll ... have ... to ... come ... out!
At last the dentist stands triumphantly with the sword in his hand, shoving Bill aside roughly as he smiles proudly. Bill clutches his face painfully.
DENTIST: *SUCCESS!* Next please!
BILL: Oy, mates! I don't like this place! Let's go!
SO THEY CYCLED ON ...
Once again the Goodies approach the front window of a surgery. Bill must still be suffering from
his harrowing ordeal with the dentist as he's falling off the back of the trandem as Tim stops.
TIM: *STOP!* Here's another surgery! In we go!
Graeme rushes in first this time, dressed in a magician's outfit complete with top hat, cape and wand. Bill follows with a small table and Tim comes in right behind him. The waiting people sit unenthusiastically with various boxes and containers on their laps.
GRAEME: Greetings! It's your lucky day, folks!
Graeme sets his top hat (which he was apparently wearing over his cloth cap!) on the table and begins to perform, while Bill and Tim seem distracted by something else.
GRAEME: I, *MARVO THE MAGICIAN*, will produce a rabbit from my hat!
BILL: Er! Hold it a moment .. !
But Graeme is already finishing his trick, holding up a stunned rabbit and a goldfish bowl he's pulled from the hat and showing it to his audience, which is suddenly made up of countless dogs who leap from the boxes, obviously agitated by the sight of the rabbit.
BILL: ... it's not a doctor's surgery! It's a *VETS*!
GRAEME: And a bowl of goldfish!
The scene becomes complete chaos as the rabbit bolts for the door, followed by dogs, cats, a snake, a mouse (running the other direction), a monkey, parrots, and a large wildcat. In the corner is a crocodile with an apparent toothache. Two cats lunge for the fish in the bowl in Graeme's hands, while the stampede of animals throws Tim off his feet and runs right over Bill who is on the floor.
PET OWNER: Come back, Rover! *HEEL! HEEL!*
LATER ... BACK AT DOC CUREM'S ...
The doctor is relishing his chance at revenge for having had all his patient's chased away, and is finishing wrapping Bill completely in bandages, which he has already done to Tim and Graeme.
GRAEME: Hey, Doc! We only wanted first aid for a few minor scratches .. !
DOCTOR CUREM: Maybe so, but this'll keep you from causing *MORE* trouble!
Sign-Off Line: HUMOUR HITS THE HIGH NOTE AGAIN WHEN THE GOODIES RETURN
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
III - Goody goody yum yum.
A cute idea which builds upon itself and provides an ending that ties up everything nicely (including The Goodies themselves), this is a really fun entry. There might have been more comic possibilities if the performances of The Goodies had been poor or annoying, or if there had been more interaction between them and the hapless patients stuck watching them. But on the whole this works quite well and provides some good laughs although it's not uproariously funny.
Oddly enough a second header appears on the second page of the comic which reads: BILL, TIM AND GRAEME GET A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE. It's hard to know which header was meant for actual print, as we assume the second header has to be a mistake since it is completely out of place where it is.
This is another detailed piece with several cute jokes thrown in as fillers and much to look at. The art is very good and the characters are rendered with a lot of motion which breathes life into the panels. It must have been obvious to the editors of Cor!! by this time that they had hit upon a good idea to adapt these characters to their comic pages.