GOODIES COR COMICS SYNOPSIS #36
(by Linda Kay)
(from C&G 109 – November 2004)
8th September, 1973 No. 59
Wrestling has been an obvious and easy target for comedians and cartoonists for many decades, and in this Cor!! Comic outing the Goodies face a difficult and unique task ... angering a wrestler who just doesn't want to become angry. Talk about your anti-anger management!
Header: WILL THE GOODIES HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE OF MAKING A MILD WRESTLER ANGRY?
The door of The Goodies' office is being broken down violently as our heroes huddle together in fear.
GRAEME: It's the *rent man!*
TIM: Or worse still my Aunt Ethel!
BILL: D-Daleks perhaps!
Once the door is broken down a giant of a man and a short, weasely looking guy in a suit enter the office. The smaller man addresses the large one as The Goodies cower behind their desk.
MANAGER: George! I told you to watch what you were doing when you knocked politely on the door!
GEORGE: Sorry, boss!
GRAEME: D-don't let him on us! We'll do anything, any time!
The men approach the Goodies to introduce themselves. George goes to shakes Bill's hand and lifts him off the ground, inadvertently crunching Bill's hand in his with a "GRAUNCH."
MANAGER: This is Gentle George, the wrestler, and I'm his manager! He won't hurt you boys ... and that's my problem!
George begins to pound their office door back into place as the manager explains his problem to Tim and Graeme (Bill is sulking with his arm in a cast and sling).
MANAGER: George is a *great* wrestler, but he hates hurting people! He's got a big bout tonight, and I want you to take on the job of making him angry enough to flatten his opponent, Mangler Mick Muldoon.
GRAEME: A *simple* task for smart fellows like us!
AND SO ...
The Goodies don athletic training clothes and hurry into the park with George, leading him to a fence of iron railings.
GRAEME: Now for my special temper training, George! Go behind those railings!
The Goodies stand on the opposite side of the railings and begin to sling insults at George, reducing him to laughter.
GRAEME: *RAASSSP!* Nuts to you, ape man!
TIM: Big baboon! Can't wrestle for tuppence! (Keep insulting him, pals!)
BILL: Cowardy, Cowardy Custard! Tee, hee! This'll make him wild!
GEORGE: Ho, ho, ho! What funny boys you are! You make me laugh!
Next they have George stand by a sand pit and Bill proceeds to kick sand in his face.
BILL: This'll make him really angry! I've seen it in the magazines!
Instead of getting angry, George starts making sand castles with a bucket and spade, throwing sand everywhere as he does so. Bill gets the brunt of the flying sand as Graeme and Tim stand by in despair.
GEORGE: Coo ... a sandpit! Super! I like making sand pies!
GRAEME: *Bah!* How can anyone by so passive?
TIM: We'll have to get a move on, it'll soon be time for his bout!
Graeme leads George out of the park, veering him toward a trap they have set for him ... Bill has a lassoed rope lying on the ground waiting for George to step into.
GRAEME: After *you,* George!
GEORGE: Thank you, Graeme!
George steps into the trap and Bill pulls the rope, causing George to slam into the sidewalk and not only smash up the cement but topple the nearby posts and railings as well!
TIM: That's *bound* to make him a little angry!
George stands up, howling with laughter, as Tim and Graeme watch on incredulously from the rubble. In the background a policeman gets ready to write Bill a ticket.
POLICEMAN: I saw that ... using a *heavy object* to damage corporation property ... name, please!
GEORGE: *Ho, ho!* What a set of comics! They'll do anything for a laugh!
The Goodies lead George around a corner and Graeme whispers a new plan to Tim.
BILL: It'll soon be time for your bout, George! Aren't you feeling even a tiny bit irritable?
GEORGE: No, I feel happy as a sandboy! You Goodies are *good* for me!
GRAEME: Tim, nip ahead and dress up as an old lady! Then we'll push you about a bit! That's bound to make George angry!
Graeme and Bill see an old lady with her back to them on the next corner.
GRAEME: There's Tim now! Come on!
They approach the old lady and start shoving her back and forth roughly.
The woman, who turns out not to be Tim in disguise but a *real* old lady, begins smashing Bill and Graeme on top of the head with her umbrella and shopping bag. George is standing in the background looking at a dog in a pet store window, completely oblivious to what's going on around him. Tim approaches the melee dressed in his regular clothes.
GRAEME: Hey! It's not - *ouch!* - Tim!
BILL: Neither it - *ooyah!* is!
TIM: Er ... sorry lads, I forgot my office key!
They are backstage at the wrestling arena and Mangler Mick Muldoon shoves George (who is wearing mouse ears and holding a flower) aside nastily as he passes.
MICK MULDOON: *OUTTA MY WAY, YOU!*
GEORGE: Awfully sorry, Mick!
GRAEME: It's too late! We'll never make George angry!
George is knocked off balance by Mangler Mick Muldoon and lands on his posterior on the ground, looking concerned.
GEORGE: Oops! That push made me sit on something!
George gets up to find a poor flattened mouse. He becomes enraged!
GEORGE: *Grr!* A poor little mouse - flattened! And it's that menace Muldoon's fault! *FUME! SNARL!*
George becomes a madman in the ring, tying Mangler Muldoon into knots and throwing him all around (not to mention stepping on the referee's head). Outside the ring Tim holds the remnants of what turns out to be a clockwork mouse so Bill and Graeme can see, shedding a tear as he does so.
TIM: Well, I had to sacrifice my *toy clockwork mouse,* but it was worth it! It's made George really fierce!
GRAEME AND BILL: YOUR TOY MOUSE!
The Goodies walk out of the wrestling arena as we see Mangler Muldoon flying up through the roof of the building behind them. A group of fans who couldn't get into the full match are cheering nearby.
GRAEME: Well done, Tim! You've saved our reputation!
BILL: Yes! *Mouse*terful the way you solved our problem!
Sign-Off Line: More Knockabout Comedy With The Goodies Next Week!
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
IIII - Officially amazing.
Finally we're treated to a comic in which there are a number of jokes in the background to find and enjoy. The pit Bill kicks sand from has an open tin can and an apple core in it. As George happily makes sand castles a very mean looking little girl with a spade and a one-eyed teddy bear watches angrily from the side. As the Goodies exit the park there is a sign on one post which reads "Cortown Park: No Cycling, No Walking, No Running, No Breathing, No Singing, No Loud Laughter ... This Park is For Your Pleasure. By Order ..... " As George destroys the sidewalk and surrounding structures by falling, the sign on the post has changed to "Cortown Park (continued) ... and by the way keep off the grass."
When the Goodies round the corner with George there is a parking meter in the background which is bent over. Upon closer inspection you can see a lead tied to the meter and pulling taut behind a large building ... and the toes of what appears to be a Godzilla type monster can be seen. When the old lady bops Bill and Graeme with her shopping bag she loses a number of fruits and other items from her bag . . . one of which appears to be a hand grenade! Gentle George's wrestling outfit appears to be that of a mouse, with the ears and later we can see his leotard has a mouse motif on the front. When he finally gets angry he has the words "Fume" and "Fret" blowing out of his ears. And finally in the last panel the same black and white cat we've seen in previous episodes comes darting out of the wrestling arena (running straight through the closed door, in fact!). A sign on the door reads "House Full" while a sign to the left reads "Wrestling Tonite!! Gentle George v. Mangler Mick Muldoon." A silver moon hangs in the sky, showing that it is night time.
The overall plot of the strip is clever and the dialogue not only moves the plot along but incorporates some good (or should I say bad?) puns. The physical humor is well drawn and the Goodies are able to succeed with what turns out to be a very difficult task. All in all this one is a lot of good fun.