GOODIES COR COMICS SYNOPSIS #34
(by Linda Kay)
(from C&G 107 – October 2004)
25th August, 1973 No. 57
Cover banner: "Goody-Goody! TV Stars "The Goodies" Appear Inside!"
The Goodies take to the sea once again in this month's Cor!! comic review as they search for treasure. But will this outing provide a treasure of gags, or sink like a stone to murky depths of comic obscurity? One must read on to find out!
Header: THE GOODIES THINK A TREASURE HUNT IS A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE CASH!
A man in scuba gear comes running into the Goodies' office, carrying a map. He rushes in so quickly Bill is startled, jumping up into Tim's arms. Graeme sits casually at the desk with a newspaper in his hands.
DIVER: I say, chaps ... we can't seem to find the *treasure* on this old *treasure map!* Half of the loot is yours if you can find it!
GRAEME: *YOU'RE ON!*
The Goodies dig through a wicker basket full of costumes and supplies. Graeme produces the helmet of an old-fashioned diving suit as Bill dresses himself as a pirate, complete with a parrot on his shoulder, a scarf, hat and a sword which he swings and cuts Tim's tie in half.
GRAEME: Aha! Here's what we need to *dive* for the treasure!
BILL: I'd much rather be a *pirate* and pinch somebody else's!
The Goodies mount their trandem and head to the sea in nautical clothes; Tim is sporting sunglasses as well. Bill is now wearing the helmet, although the pirate's hat sits atop it (and the parrot sits on the back of the bike).
GRAEME: Right, gang ... we're on our way!
BILL: Soon I'll be swinging a sackful o' *doubloons* ... weighed down with *pieces of eight!* Ha-Harrr!
The Goodies continue on, but Tim is all but blinded by the sunglasses. Bill's helmet window looks like a fuzzy TV screen and there is now a television aerial on the top.
TIM: Can anyone see the sea yet?
BILL: No ... I'm picking up the wrong *CHANNEL!* Ha-Harrr!
GRAEME: And my specs are all steamed up!
The Goodies ride right off the end of a pier into the sea with a SPLOOSH!, the glasses, hats and helmet left hovering in the air (the parrot has also taken flight to avoid falling into the briney).
GRAEME: I think we're nearly there ... GLOOP!
THE GOODIES FINALLY MADE IT OUT TO SEA ...
Our heroes are now in a little power boat and Bill is in the full diving suit. Tim is busy cranking the wheel of the oxygen supply machine for Bill's suit as Graeme studies the map and some charts. Bill's suit is overinflating quickly.
BILL: Hey! Hold on a sec ... you're pumping in *more air* than I can *breathe!*
Tim keeps pumping the air, heedless of Bill's cries as Bill's carried upward in the overinflated suit which is now puffed up like a balloon. Graeme, oblivious to the melee, studies the map.
GRAEME: *"X"* marks the spot ... hmmm ... I think we're just above it!
BILL: *HEELP!* I'm supposed to go *down* ... not *up!*
Graeme leaps up suddenly and swings the sword to cut the air line to Bill's suit with a SNICK!
GRAEME: Right you are ... *GOING DOWN!*
Bill comes crashing straight down into the center of the boat, crunching head-first through the bottom with a CRUNCH! Graeme covers his eyes and throws a "May Day" note in a bottle overboard as Tim dives out of the way and the boat's anchor also goes flying.
Bill is now upside down with his head underwater beneath the boat and his feet sticking up through the middle of the craft. Tim and Graeme appear to be trying to hold Bill in place.
GRAEME: You'll have to stay where you are and *plug the leak!*
BILL (thinking): HEY! I can see something!
WHAT BILL SAW!
There is a big, black "X" painted on the bottom of the sea.
AFTER PLUGGING THE HOLE WITH A MONTH'S RATION OF BUBBLE GUM, THE GOODIES WENT INTO ACTION ...
Bill heads down to the bottom of the sea in the diving suit, the air line repaired by being tied back together in a knot. Bill's got a rain hat on and is holding an umbrella (reminiscent of Tim holding the umbrella underwater in the Goodies' "Loch Ness Monster" episode).
BILL: Coo! It's all *wet* down here!
Bill reaches the bottom only to have his foot land in a giant clam, which snaps shut with a GLOPP.
BILL: *Eek!* I've been got at by a *giant clam!*
We see Tim and Graeme sitting in relaxation in the boat on top of the water as Bill struggles desperately below. Bill begins tugging on the air line, which Tim is holding onto.
BILL: I'm trapped! I'll give the emergency signal by *tugging* on the rope!
Bill pulls so hard he yanks Tim into the water with a PLOOSH!
GRAEME: *Ooer!* Man ... er, I mean *TIM, OVERBOARD!*
Graeme throws a large inflatable duck water toy into the water, hitting Tim on the head with it.
TIM: *WAAAH!* I can't swim in the deep end ... I want my *WUBBER WING - ULP!*
Bill works to pull his foot free from his diving boot.
BILL (thinking): I'll have to get out of this boot ... or I'm a goner!
Bill pulls his foot free and heads for the surface, leaving his boot behind in the clam.
BILL (thinking): *YIPPEEE!* I'm ... glugg ... *FREE!* Glugg, glugg!
Bill shoots up out of the water, hitting Tim and sending him flying up in the air with his duck water wings around his chest. Graeme watches this safely from the boat.
GRAEME: Welcome back aboard!
We see the scene at the bottom of the sea as Bill's boot floats free from the clam, which is now open, as Bill complains about no treasure from above. We can see the clam contains a pile of pearls which sparkle and gleam.
BILL (from above): This is *dangerous!* Let's go home! There's no sign of treasure ... just a
*giant clam* with a *big mouth!*
GIANT CLAM (thinking): Heh, heh! Little do they know!
Sign-Off Line: The Next Cor!! - On Sale Saturday, 25th August Has More Goodies Fun!
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
II - Fair-y punkmother.
After the really smashing comic the week before, we're unfortunately back to sub par material in this outing. While the artwork is fun and interesting at times, it just does not contain the richness or depth as seen in previous strips. The background jokes are few and far between ... when the scuba diver runs into the Goodies' office a fish flies off him. The cat which has appeared in previous issues makes a cameo appearance in the wicker basket of costumes and sea-going props. As Graeme studies the map, a seagull sitting on the edge of the boat is wearing a rain cap. This same bird flies off when Graeme slashes Bill's air line. The wheel which Tim was using to pump the air goes flying when Bill crashes back into the boat. There are a variety of sea creatures in the various panels when Bill is underwater. In one a scuba diver is seen sitting on the prow of a submerged submarine and throwing a fishing line to a shark. The submarine is tethered to a parking meter. Finally an octopus watches with boredom as Bill tries to free his foot from his boot inside the clam.
The verbal jokes are also kept to a minimum ... there are very few puns and the dialogue mostly serves to move the plot along. Nothing is particularly hilarious and the comedy barely rises above a juvenile level. Since the comic strip is intended for kids this can be forgiven, but previous comics seemed to rise to a more sophisticated level, at least occasionally. The ending isn't particularly strong, and although clams *can* produce pearls on occasion it isn't common enough to really carry the joke without question.
A shame, as this might have been a real winner of a comic with a little more detail and humor.