GOODIES COR COMICS SYNOPSIS #20
(by Linda Kay)
(from C&G 92 – August 2003)
19 May, 1973 No. 43
The Goodies tackled the subject of advertising and sales on several of their television episodes ... one will forever appreciate the many wonderful uses for string after hearing their unforgettable jingle for the product, not to mention their old-fashioned Medicine Show sales style and even their radio sales pitch for a new postal service (backed up by the repeated playing of A Walk in the Black Forest). Snooze, political candidates, animal psychotherapy ... you name it, they've sold it! Some of those unique and inspired sales techniques might have come in very handy in this month's Cor!! comic entry, which sees the plucky trio trying the more common door-to-door sales routine.
Header: THE GOODIES TRY TO MAKE A CLEAN SWEEP OF THINGS AS BROOM SALESMEN!
The Goodies are relaxing in their office (Bill is even sleeping in a chair in the foreground) when a man dashes in through the front door and literally hurls an armful of broomsticks toward them.
MAN: You say you do anything anytime! Well, try selling these brooms! I'm tired of trying!
TIM: Bet we can't fail as door-to-door Goodies!
The Goodies set out on their trandem, Tim and Graeme each holding a broom in their right hands (while steering with their left) and Bill struggling to hang on to the rest as they approach a quaint looking cottage (a large apartment complex sits in the background).
BILL: This looks the sort of place to sell old-fashioned brooms! Leave it to me!
TIM: Huh! Fifty houses - fifty "No thank you's" so far!
Bill approaches the front door and speaks to a very haggard, old woman, trying to sell her a broom. (He apparently doesn't pick up on the fact there is a bat peering over the door at him, a cat looking up from the feet of the woman and an ominous skull knocker on the door).
BILL: Every broom has the Goodie - *guarantee*, honest!
WITCH: H'mm, I'd like to try it out first!
The witch (complete with pointy hat and goggles) takes off on the broom, soaring skyward. The Goodies are sprawled on the ground below, having either ducked her takeoff or been knocked off their feet. A bird sitting on a nest on top of the witch's chimney looks startled at the sight of the witch and her cat sailing high on the broomstick.
WITCH: I'll give it a test flight!
TIM: Yikes! Trust Bill to pick on a witch's cottage!
The witch is suddenly sent flying to the ground when the bristles of the broom come loose with a *SNAP!* She crashes at the feet of the Goodies and her cat takes off running.
WITCH: Pshaw! Faulty workmanship! My downfall will be yours, too!
BILL: Ooer! What can she mean by that?
The witch consults an issue of Witch Magazine as she points in Bill's direction. Fearing the worst, Bill dives headfirst into a nearby hedge as Tim and Graeme watch from behind a gate post.
BILL: Crumbs, this *spells* trouble! I'm hiding in the hedge! Hope she doesn't find me!
WITCH: By eye of toad, and tail of jet ... !
Having finished her spell, the witch storms back into her cottage. Tim and Graeme look to where Bill disappeared and are surprised to find only a cat (they apparently don't recognize it as the witch's cat).
TIM: Eek! She's turned a Goodie into a *moggy*!
GRAEME: Come on, Bill, I'll carry you back to the office and get you a saucer of cream!
Bill leaps out of the hedge where he's been hiding and into Graeme's arms (the cat takes off running again).
BILL: Oo, thanks, Graeme, I am feeling rather tired!
GRAEME: Aargh! So you're still your own stupid self!
Once again the Goodies mount their trandem (this time Bill's handling *all* the brooms) and they ride down a hill toward the river where there are several houses (not to mention a fisherman being pulled into the river by a large fish while a sailboat sinks and another seems to be crashing into the bridge they are about to cross).
BILL: Huh, catty lot making me carry all the brooms!
TIM: We'll try our sales patter down by the river - the houses there have big lawns to keep clear of leaves!
Tim confidently approaches one of the houses (which bears the words Mon Repos on a post out front ... best as I can translate it this means restful peace or my rest).
TIM: We need the *hard sell* approach! Leave it to me, this time!
Tim sticks his foot in the door, much to the aggravation of the very big, mean-looking man who has answered from within.
HOMEOWNER: Get your foot out of the door!
TIM: Let me tell you about this *broom* - it has all *sorts* of uses!
The man reaches out to take the broom from Tim, who is sure he's made a sale.
HOMEOWNER: Is that so? Let's have it here then!
TIM: (thinking) Success!
The man jams the broom handle down on Tim's foot full force, causing Tim to scream in pain. Bill and Graeme watch from the sidewalk with some amusement.
HOMEOWNER: Let's see how good it is at getting rid of pesky salesmen!
The Goodies slink away alongside the river (Tim's foot now in a cast) as they look for their next prospect. As they pass one dock, a man in front of a Boat Hire business (5p for one half hour) is tossing an old broken paddle boat out the door.
BOAT HIRE MAN: This paddle boat isn't worth repairing - I'll throw it out for the junk men!
GRAEME: We'll never sell this lot - we keep getting the brush off!
BILL: H'mm, I've an idea!
The boat hire man becomes livid when he sees the Goodies down river selling rides in his old paddle boat for 3p a paddle, having attached the brooms to the wheels to act as new paddles for the boat ("The Latest in Paddle Boats" their sign boasts). A queue of customers are lined up waiting for a chance to ride. Tim and Bill are the only ones nervously aware of the fact that the boat hire man is coming after them with a very large sword!
GRAEME: Yippee - we're getting all the boatman's extra customers!
Back at their office, The Goodies gloat over the money they have made, each holding a handful of cash. The doorbell rings and Bill goes to answer it.
GRAEME: What a *sweeping* success! Every brush used and we've cash in hand!
BILL: I'll see who's at the door!
When Bill comes back, Tim and Graeme are flabbergasted to see he's carrying another huge armful of brooms (even though a vacuum cleaner sits quite obviously to one side).
BILL: Er ... pals ... it was a *salesman*! A-and I s-seem to have bought these!
GRAEME: Oh, NO!
Tim and Graeme chase Bill out of the office, clubbing him with the brooms.
TIM: This is one use we never thought of!
BILL: Yelp! What a dust-up!
Sign-Off Line: Our T.V. Chuckle Champs Return In Another Adventure Next Week!
RATING (using the BLACK PUDDING RATING SYSTEM):
III - II - Fair-y punkmother.
Sad to say this is a pretty poor outing for this comic series. There are no really boffo jokes, the entire premise is fairly weak and even the artwork lacks much imagination. Some of it is just downright baffling ... in the panel when the witch crashes to the ground a car is speeding up and a man is hanging out the window with something in his hand. I can only guess that maybe he's delivering the Witch Magazine the witch is reading in the next panel, but honestly I just can't figure out what he's doing (or if it's just an exceptionally long rear view mirror!).
Likewise in the panel when the Goodies approach the river there's something going on with the fisherman, a sailboat and what looks like a fish but could also be a man falling overboard. The second sailboat that's apparently crashed into the bridge is hardly noticeable at all. This artwork is just not up to par with previous strips. Even the lettering seems a bit more static and uninteresting. And it's never very clear why the witch storms back into her house after only saying one line of her spell. Are we to assume she finished it, or did she just quit midway, sparing Bill her wrath?
Also lacking from this episode are many good puns or wordplay ... there are a few attempts at such humor but it just doesn't hit home, and some bits of dialogue are flat and basically describe what's happening in the panel without adding anything or attempting to be funny. Even the set up of the man throwing his brooms at them to sell isn't the most interesting predicament to put them in. Spared a "Tripe on t' pikelets" rating only by some cute business with Bill carrying all the brooms, some spot on drawings of Tim being characteristically cocky and a frog which witnesses the witch's spell on Bill and hops away, only to have Tim and Graeme assume Bill's been turned into the *cat* (obviously the frog would have been the more cliched choice, a very subtle joke) this one is sadly a disappointment.